FRENDSHIP the Ultimate Foundation!!

Some time ago, there was a forum started by someone that did not feel that two people romantically involved should be friends first. She said, she noticed many profiles with the "Friends First" clause if you will. She did not feel, that this was necessary and a requirement for a compatible and romantic love affair that can last the long haul. I beg to differ!!!

I believe friendship is the foundation for all relationships, both platonic and romantic. Why?

What makes a friendship, a bond between two people? Isn't it having something in common that brings them both together in the first place? The commonality can be anywhere from living in the same apartment building to working for the same company as coworkers or common good and bad experiences. That commonality or compatibility is established via communication, is it not? Of course you already know that, but how often do you really think about friendship in great detail, I don't think many do, as good and true friends are hard to find.

Isn't intimacy what creates friendships in the first place? I am not talking about sex, I am talking about the communication of your intimate thoughts and issues that you deal with on a daily basis. As time gos on and you meet others, where ever that may be, you slowly begin to open up, share your most deepest and intimate thoughts and concerns. Of course this happens at different levels. In the work place you may share some of your intimate thoughts about other coworkers or company policies with those you, through time, think will understand or at least keep it to themselves. In your living environment around your home, apartment, or neighborhood, you begin to do the same thing as time passes. You start to choose, who it is, that you want to share your personal thoughts about anything and everything under the sun. Likewise others share their intimate thoughts and concerns with you and bonds are established. Again, you know this already, but have you really thought about it on a deeper level?

What is a good and true friend? As we meet people and they come and go, those who remain have certain qualities. For one, the friendship is reciprocated, meaning they care about you as much as you care about, for the most part. You share your deepest most sensitive intimate thoughts and concerns with these types of friends, is that not the case? Isn't this the way trust is built and love is established even on a platonic level? So, it stands to reason, that your lover, your wife/husband to be should be your very best friend. You live together, sleep together and share everything together. I believe a strong friendship is the foundation for two lovers that want a relationship to last a lifetime. True friends are not jealous or self-centered. They return your emails or phone calls, even if they are busy to simply say "busy now, I'll contact you later!"

Early sex in a relationship ruins this foundation. The friendship foundation is not firmly established(build on proper communication) and rides on pure passion and lust. Then when difficult times come about the stress and strain pulls them apart. The s*xual physical intimacy was established but not the psychological, spiritual, and emotional bond that is established through real friendship first. I find so many people do not get this and wonder why they do not form strong bonds. Don't get me wrong, it took many mistakes and error in judgment to realize fully the ramifications of this myself and I am still learning, are we all?

Don't waist your time with those that do not reciprocate friendship and ignore your emails and phone calls. Recognize self-centeredness and those with other agendas. It's a two way street, just like a phone is, a two way device.

May you all form beautiful friendships that can last a lifetime!! angel grin cool bouquet
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Comments (6)

Good for you...i totally agree with you...friendship is the key and you work you way up fromt there....wish more men were like you on these sites.
I also agree with you 100%
crusindee and LovelySerene, thank you for taking the time to read my blog and commenting!! handshake cheers bouquet grin cool
I like this article thumbs up
Thank you so much for writing this and sharing it. I look back and have to agree with it. Of course, you and I say the same things about friends, communicating and our description of friendship.

I have recently been letting go of people or reprioritizing them. I have learned to not make someone a priority that makes me an option. So, let them go or put them at the same level on my list that they have me on. I deduce where they have me and reciprocate.

I have had some of them turn on me and let ME go because of it. Fine! It tells me my value to them even more. Easier for me by far! I was unsure of them. Nice to know.
HavinFuninTx, thanks for reading and commenting!! hug bouquet
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