The trouble with Marta - please help me figure this out

"Marta3007 - never late" - nice looking Hungarian elementary school teacher looking for serious relationship on this site. Speaks English too fairly well. So far so good?

Sent her a Like, she responded with an E-mail thanking me, I responded expressing interest, she asked some question in return and and showed interest too. I answered her question equally politely and honestly with details and have offered my email address.

A day passes, i see her online but not responding to my email having read it. I am about to send a polite "thanks for your interest, all the best" email to close it off when - surprise, surprise - i was blocked.

Of course it is for the better, for who would want to get involved with someone without manners and a high degree of paranoia.

Anyone you ladies out there who can offer me a reasonable explanation? Should giving your email address on the third exchange get you blocked? Bear in mind that not even the slightest suggestion of anything inappropriate has expired.....

Comments (39)

daniela777
She probably thought you were a scammer?dunno

There are many warnings about not giving private details when you don't know the person.
Maybe she didn't trust you?

Anyway Arpi..a lesson learned.comfort
itchywitch
Hi Arpito wave and i don't know why dunno
maybe offering her your Private email she thought was a little too soon and maybe saw it as a sign of being a desperate man conversing

You also removed your best picture, maybe she thought it was too ...
so by removing it you lost your admirer dunno

Either that or she found an easier one to scam dunno
johnjjm
think your wrong giving someone your email so easy are you insane or just stupid
daniela777
John..you forgot Naive.grin
arpito
@johnjjm

Although I was looking for women's take primarily as they have a better insight into how their gender typically reacts, i am certainly learning from kind and sensitive responses such as yours.

Learning that do not expose weakness because the vultures will be there in an instant to rip you apart. Post without fear Johnjim, When i step into poo i make sure i do not walk there again.

tongue
mollybaby
Ar, when somebody gives me their email very early on, even with the best of intentions, I lose interest in them.

Personal email early is usually quickly followed by a request for pics, followed by request for telephone number, Skype, etc.


I always feel that there is nothing we write at at that early stage requires personal email contact, it can be done on CS mail.

I am always disappointed if they try to take it offline too quickly, I don't trust theme then.
Maybe that's unfair and unjust, but you asked for a possible explanation.
arpito
@itchywitch

Thank you, I think that your explanations make good sense, people are turned off by initial enthusiasm and become suspicious. It is human nature.

There are a lot of fearful females out there....unfortunately part of it is their experience and the other half is paranoia. But there is still no excuse for uncivilized behavior in my mind. Makes me sad when i encounter people who are nice only while they see profit for themselves and drop off without a word as soon as they discover that you are not quite what they are looking for. That may not be the case here, but i see that often enough too.

As for my methods, i see no reason to put up my defenses and be someone else that i am not. I have met my ex wife online and spent several wonderful years together. She freely offered her email at the very beginning. If you like someone, tell them. If they freak out, that is their problem. I am tired of females who are scared of their own shadows. Trust is something to be extended to strangers, not blindly of course and with limits.

Ignorance is to blame too. Many people think that if someone has their email address, their computer can be hacked or they might face continuous harassment. They have no idea how they can configure their email client to stop messages from unwanted people at the server. The millions of junk email they get does not seem to bother them. Unprotected computers will be hacked within minutes of being on the net. Not by some scammer on some dating line but by professionals. One who thinks that giving out an email address makes any difference to their security is misinformed. Clicking on links is definitely another story....
arpito
@mollybaby

The email is a good explanation i think. I had women offer their email to me many times after a few exchanges, so that is no rule of thumb either.

Definitely the lesson here for me is to be frugal with giving out email. Strangely this same person did not mind being complimented and in any case, she wrote to me first.

Thank you all (well almost all anyway) for being very helpful to Arpie Bear



teddybear
itchywitch
Nice reply Arpito with a good view also wine

By the sounding of you, it could be her loss wine
daniela777
As for myself...once I've been able to discern if the guy is genuine or not...if I like him I'd rather go straight to whatsapp so we can chat off site and I can hear his voice.

The voice is very important. smitten
mollybaby
Arp, the problem is, everybody is different, and reacts differently.

Some women give out their telephone numbers , or want to meet up after a short conversation. Others prefer to take things slowly.

So I think the best option is to show interest, but allow the woman to set the pace.
mollybaby
See!
Daniela above shows that everybody likes different things thumbs up

I have dated men before talking to them on the phone laugh
johnjjm
women are feckin mad they don't know what they want ..one wants water and other thinks vodka is water other wants email and next blocks you just do as you likes say what you thinks and if they don't like let them kiss your a** hope I didn't upset your blog I just said as it is
mollybaby
Yeah, we're all fecking mad, JJ grin
daniela777
Jj..that's what makes us UNIQUE...our differences. applause
johnjjm
sure if you gave every feckin woman that asked you for ewmail, youd be tormented and for one honest one id say 9 scams of some kind .the messageing here is just perfect .and yeah I jhave met people without talking to before or without seeing .don't suit a lot of people to have a pic up an I have met some nice people some id not talk about is no for sensitive ears ....
johnjjm
antiques is more like it
Cachuchi
Hi,

My explanation will be very simple, you were not the only one, and she put someone before you for any reason...maybe timing.

I do not see what is all about give or not email....I have an account just for CS, this PM neverending story could take years between messages...yes, I think anyone is different, as its supposed to be wave
bloodyawfull
So you favourited me, and liked her?!

Now, i'm blocking you as well.
raphael119
Once I saw a gorgeous gal my age when I was in the games section of CS. A latvian blond, awesome.
Anyway she had just played something called the memory game. Her score was horrible, worst one on the board! To break the ice and show a little compassion I wrote her a sweet and simple: " you did not do well in the memory game."
" Mind your business !" she answered.

How cold can you be? She blocked me too.
arpito
MollyBaby

You nailed it when you wrote "So I think the best option is to show interest, but allow the woman to set the pace".

thumbs up
arpito
@bloodyawfull
you wrote: "So you favourited me, and liked her?! Now, i'm blocking you as well."

Why block me? i am out of your age range anyway to send you a love message...

so i take your intention as a compliment!

bouquet
Redex
I have blocked loads of men----simply they have not read my profile, they are way to young, or give me e-mail address to reply too,

Some i reply too to tell them the error of thier ways grin but get mail back saying age is just a numberwow they just do not get it, so most of the time read e-mail and delete. Persistant bugg--s i block peace peace
arpito
@ johnjjm
you wrote: " hope I didn't upset your blog I just said as it is"


It is not "my blog", it is a discussion thread that everyone is welcome to comment on. Just make sure not to make a fool of yourself and you will be OK.

Cheerswine
arpito
@Redex

oh, you are one of those, block block on suspicion without saying a civilized word even. At least you admit to it. You might want to be a bit less extreme in your approach, not to throw out the baby with the bath water so to speak. Obvious fakes i discard too. I suppose the key here is "reasonable doubt".
Redex
You are telling ME what i should do scold scold naughty boy. If someone 40 e-mails lady 70 and when you tell him you have sons older than him, he e-mails back from US saying he wou re-alocate he wants older wmenroll eyes How polite can one beroll eyes
arpito
@Redex

no no, definitely not saying what you should do, more like what i would do....that is why i phrased it as a suggestion but now i see that you are definitely one who would act with much consideration and sensitivity, my mistake, i am sorry! (besides, I don't like to be spanked!)

uncertain
arpito
@Daniela777
thank you

"The voice is very important" - i second that, i got introduced to my second wife over the phone (before the Internet age) and her voice just blew me away. My fourth wife had business like, raw voice. I should have stayed away.....

Don't ask how many times!!!! that is a secret



cool
daniela777
Wow Arpito...how many wives do you need before you find the right one? wow

I'm sure my voice would send you to heavens blushing

Oh...I forgot you don't believe in heaven. Ok Then...wherever ?
bloodyawfull
laugh
arpito, it is not to believe everything the profile says. I'm quite suspicious when i see a guy in relationship and looking for a pen pall.
When you favorited me, i saw it as a sarcastic joke.
arpito
@bloodyawful
you wrote: "arpito, it is not to believe everything the profile says. I'm quite suspicious when i see a guy in relationship and looking for a pen pall.
When you favorited me, i saw it as a sarcastic joke".


Dear Bloodyawful, You go the wrong guy. My profile here always showed the status of divorced and i never wrote anything about wanting a pen pal in it....

heart wings
arpito
@daniela777
you wrote: "Wow Arpito...how many wives do you need before you find the right one? wow "


They say in my mother tongue that a good priest learns till he dies.....


violin
arpito
@Cachuchi - You wrote: "My explanation will be very simple, you were not the only one, and she put someone before you for any reason...maybe timing. I do not see what is all about give or not email... ...."

Thank you for sharing your experience Cachuci. It could well be that i missed the boat, but i think that most people do not block you in mid conversation unless they find you annoying or conclude something really negative.



confused
daniela777
Ummmm...hmmm bowing typing please
daniela777
Sorry Arpito, my comment was to your other comment to me.
Ken_19
The only reason to write you was to harvest your email address for sale. That done, why shouldn''t she block you?
arpito
Ken_19 wrote: "The only reason to write you was to harvest your email address for sale. That done, why shouldn''t she block you?"

Ummmmm.......

The Net informs that the going rate for a batch of one million United States email addresses: $25. One-and-a-half million addresses from England sell for $100.

Assuming that she tricks 10 email addresses a day with using such tedious manual methods, she might make a salary of up to 0.0006 dollars a day for a yearly gross revenue of 25 cents. Now if i was related to someone famous, that would be another matter......

conversing
arpito
sorry, my math was a bit wacky. You can sell the same email address many times over. Let us exaggerate and say that she sells it to 1000 people in a year, for a whopping yearly income of 250 dollars....

But it would take 10 years before she gathers enough email addresses this way that anyone be interested in buying.....

Poor starving scammer lady, lets hand the hat around for her :)
Dedovix
See, in the third mail its a custom for the Guy to send a picture of his Mikey wink

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