Do I or Don't I?
Quick Scenerio.......Fifteen years ago I left my X, he had done something that I do believe now I have been running away from. Over the years I have asked myself why and can't seem to come up with an answer. I have now moved back to being closer to him so have had the opportunity to run into him a few times. I want so bad to have the questions answered that I should have asked 15 years ago.Today: He is currently living with another lady (never remarried). He has always been "my person" but I would never do anything to destroy what he has now. When we meet he hugs me tightly and pulls me into him.
Question is: Do I bring up the past and ask him the questions I should have asked way back then? Open old wounds. Or do I just get over it in my head and move on? I am not about to become to the "other" woman, not my style, but if he was single I would consider going back to him.
Any thoughts?
Comments (22)
Seems he has moved on and perhaps you should also
What made you leave should have been resolved back then to give you both closure
I don't know...
But, if he is in a long term relationship, and is over-friendly with you, he doesn't sound very trustworthy.
Put yourself in the shoes of his current partner, and see should you still be accidentally running into him so regularly.
If you didn't have the post-mortem on whys, whats and hows 15 years ago when the relationship ended, then it would be foolish to seek them now. Even if you did, would you be happy with the answers?
Your ex has obviously moved on and has a seemingly happy life, aside from being affectionate toward you, on occasion, as his old flame.
I'd move on and let things go.
If it still bothers you than do ask ...but whatif your assumptions were not true ....than how will u forgive yourself and the time you wasted for something which was not there in the first place.
"Doing Whatever It Is.... For The First Time?'
"Is Always The Hardest Thing To Do"
"Doing It The Second Time?"
"Is Much Easier To Do"...................
(My Answer Is In There...Amongst All Those Words)
(There Is no Nice Way To Say It)
"You Say"
"That You Would Go Back To Him"
(Despite... That Hes With Another Woman Now)
(Despite....... All The Hurt He Has Bestowed On You?)
"I Would Suspect.... He Knows He Can Control You"
"I Would Suspect..He Knows... He'll Always Have You There...In Reserve"
"Just In Case Of Hard Times"
"Knowing This.... As What It All Is.................A Fact?"
"Im Left....To Have To Ask You This?"
"How Does It Feel... Knowing ....Youll Always Be Number 2?"................
However I am ready to bet good money he won't be able to answer your question because he won't remember the situation. Male memories are wired completely differently.
It's good that you don't have bitterness towards each other, but the past is the past. Let it go. Getting him to think about it, concentrate on what has gone, will do neither of you any good.
JMO
Any thoughts?
Has he asked you to get back in to his life ?
this says all ! ! !
I would ask him, because then you will get an answer from him, but you still not know if the answer would be true or not. but for yourself to close this capture it would be good.
but before you ask him you may think over what his answer will bring you? nevertheless his answer would be positive or negative for you
Personally, when I leave, I never look back. Don't care for any explanation. I don't even express why I left. But in the beginning I explain my rules and expectations. Complete honesty.
I've had three very long relationships. Two of them still want to get back with me.
For your case, I feel that you shouldn't even be around him. That only undermines his current position. Question, what difference would it make to you should you get a positive or negative response?
You need to move on. He's with someone leave him alone. You're a basket case if you don't.
Life is a big adventure, open doors and clossing doors, opening a closed door well the furniture will all be moved and you would not recognize it.
You can never find the same relashanship, people are different and you yourself will have changed too.
Hugging close from him is a dominate thing kick him in the
My ex did the same thing after her 2nd marriage failed. That was 20 years after our divorce.