How to maintain a woman

Women require constant maintenance and servicing, some handy information to get the best performance out of a woman is:

Listen to her; she will make various noises, from a gentle purr to outlandish shouting, purr good shouting not! Listen carefully and nod your head and /or make sympathetic noises and this will help with her issues that she wants to describe or rant at you.

Women speak on average 20 000 words a day while men speak just 7000…

Hygiene: This is important; women don’t like a smelly mechanic, and remember you can come across as a stinky bastard in the cyber world too. Always keep your tool clean!

Manners and Etiquette: This is vital!, acting like a d*ck will ensure that the women loses interest, whether in real life or the cyber world being a narcissist or bully will only attract a woman of the lowest possible class and standard, for some this is adequate but any “relationship” won’t last, and you would have to scrap her, it could be costly to you too. Never compare her to your previous model.

Educated and informed: This is a vital part of woman maintenance, Showing cultural acceptance and being able to converse about current news and situations to family and relationship issues. Keep her manual updated!

Sense of humour : This is important, This does not just mean being witty, It also means not having for example a male hissy fit on the blogs or forums, most people in those locations don’t care about your self-serving woe is me crap, be upbeat, banter and make people laugh. laughing will make her inner engine purr.

Annual Inspection (MOT) Her annual inspection is purely to test that she has been well maintained and serviced, She should be checked for any leaks or other issues daily, these can range from tears to excess verbiage, often, simply washing the dishes will stop leaks.

Wear and tear is something to look out for, twisting her nipples like you are tuning a radio or digging into her inner workings without suitable permissions and essential lubricants will cause your inspection to fail.

If she needs fixing, then fix her, don’t wait until things fall apart, by then it will be too late.

Questions or additions?