White Lies

Some people believe that there are times when a lie will serve better than the truth and then they call it a white lie. I find it hard to reconcile myself with such a philosophy because I think it is yellow if you don’t have the guts to tell the truth; regardless of the results.scold

Let’s take a hypothetical case and imagine that your forty year old somewhat overweight mother, wife, sister, girlfriend, cousin, niece or whatever approaches you in a dress that sits way above her knees and asks you if she looks OK. It is obvious that she has her doubts otherwise she would not have asked. Now how do you reply?uh oh

You could tell her the truth and there is a possibility that she may be pissed off with you for a few days but she’ll get over it and more importantly, she'll know the truth - if she had not known it before. Or you can deceive her with a lie to make her happy but in believing that lie, she may make a spectacle of herself in public.doh

I could ask you which reply served her better; the truth that made her unhappy or the lie that made her happy but I won’t. I’ll rather ask you which you can live with better: To displease with the truth or to create a short-lived illusion of satisfaction with a lie. But don’t answer; I’ll leave that with you to chew on.mumbling

Of course, if she did not ask, you could have kept quiet. Ok, maybe the ethnics are not right but you still had the option to exercise your right to remain silent. But now that she asked, you are in a predicament. And this gives you another reason to be truthful; for people should learn not ask questions if any of the possible answers will offend them.dancing
cats meow cats meow

Comments (93)

Sorry Track,
For some reason I missed your comment.

If you have a fire, you have too kill it while it is still small. Once it can roar it is too late and then all you can do is to wait for it until its fuel runs out.

Anyway, I think this blog can go to sleep now.
yawn sleep
I have absulutely no qualms about white lies. In fact, I see them as an act of altruism.

ps: g'nite blog... err... I mean, g'nite Cat
Hi Diova
The dictionary defines altruism as 'the selfless concern for the well-being of others'. Very noble but does a white lie really improve the well-being of anybody other than the on who tells the white lie.dunno
hug wine
A friend could not wait to show me a dress she bought for a party. You could tell she just loved that dress.
She asked me; Don't you think it is just perfect and I lied and told her that it was
She was so obvious proud and happy with that dress that I could not take that away from her

Had she taken me along and asked me then, I would have told her the truth, but felt is was too late now.
She was happy and that counted for me..............wave wave wave
If the truth will hurt a little white lie is acceptable
I can see where you're going but I still wonder of the truth would have done much harm viewed in the light that you would have been truthful if you were going along with her.

I'm not being callous - at least, I don't have the intention - but it sounds is if you don't really care if she is on her own but when she is with you she has to be prim and proper. And my question is: Would it really have made her unhappy if you did not like the dress? Remember, this is all opinion and as she is entitled to hers, you are entitled to yours.

Forgive me if it sounds crude but this is the way I perceive it. sad flower

Btw I could have told you a white lie in saying that you did right but that would have defeated the purpose of this blog..grin
hi Map
that seems to be the popular consensus but where do you draw the line or does it mean that the bigger the potential hurt, the bigger lie one can concoct.

What I find most mystifying is that it seems that people are reluctant to give an honest opinion when asked for it.
Hi Cat I remember back to when I was asked by a lady in a store who had asked me and other women shoppers what we thought of the hat she had tried on and did we think that she looked good in it.

I spoke up and told her that I thought that the hat was a terrible choice.
She gave me a dirty look and told me that I didn't need to be rude.
I told her that if she didn't wish to hear an honest answer then she should've not asked for one and that I wasn't about to sugar coat her ego.laugh
Well, that is exactly how I feel. Remember, this is opinion and if you don't want to hear my opinion, don't ask for it.
you are right. I use to say : if you are not sure that you like the answer, then don't ask.
Cat, you forget, that most people aren't looking for an honest answer laugh

It's like if you meet an acquaintance on the street, and they ask how you are, the expected answer is 'fine, thanks' , 'good, thanks' etc.

They do not want to hear how you really are - how you are having trouble with constipation; that your bank account isn't as healthy as you'd like; that your dentures are chafing your gums laugh
Hi Niemand,
exactly, and more specialized, cross questioners in court don't ask any questions unless if the knew the answer. No surprises that way
hi Molly
that is the problem, We don't want to know the truth be cause we don't really care about the person. So why pretend? dunno

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