To Me..

There is a fine line between a friend and a significant other (sorry TokyoRogue, I am copying your terminology grin ). And so is between a not serious relationship and a serious one. These apply virtually and reality.

Once I decide to consider a man as my significant other, I don’t go around here and there “marketing” myself. I don’t flirt, even only harmless, with any men beside him. No way.. Not me. And that's why I expect the same thing from him.

Oohhh noo.. I will not forbid him from chatting, meeting and spending time with his friends, males nor females. I am not a jealous type woman. It’s just I would expect him to not flirt nor do other things which would only jeopardize our relationship.

Remember, when you flirt with someone, that someone might see your flirt differently. That could mean fire. And having a man who loves playing with fire is the last thing I want in mylife. I have enough problems already and so having more problems is the last thing I want from my significant other.

If he is still wanting to flirt or playing around or he doesn’t want to have the fine line, then he better tell me that since the very beginning and so I will just consider him as just a friend. . that’s it. Maybe much less but no more than that.

How about you? dunno

Comments (24)

very complicated way of saying,
You aint gonna take no Shit laugh
I think its different with virtual and reality. A virtual significant other bantering and flirting, no real problem. A reality girlfriend meeting other guys or dating, that's a bit much really.
Hi Kal, always summed you up as a lady with decent moral values.thumbs up bouquet
Oh well, what can you expect from a frog.
It's as far as my English can go. grin

Thank you. Your lady is very lucky to have you. bouquet
Hi Pat8
Well, once he and I decide to become virtual significant others for each other, I would expect to meet him in real life. It's kind of making an important first step. Every thing starts from there whether we will bring our virtual relationship to reality or just stop it there. After meeting, anything might happens, yanno. grin But atleast we start it with good intentions.So to me. if my CS significant other still flirts with another woman, it is like a real-life-he dates another woman. (a horizontal analogy).
Different strokes for different folks. wine

How are your pumpkins going?
How big are they now?

No your not. it's a common term that's been in use since 1953 - popularized in 1987 in a book titled, strangely enough, Significant Others. (If i've read it on wiki, it must be true)) I've never had an original thought and probably never will. Plagiarism is underrated.

Flirting, shagging, stalking, kidnapping ....all stops once we're exclusive -online or otherwise.
No you're not....
Ok, how does this work exactly?

What is the definition of a 'virtual significant other' ?

Does that mean that you are being faithful and exclusive to somebody you have never met?

I am all for exclusivity, but I kinda need to have met them and dated them before I could say I was in an exclusive relationship.
With technology as it is I think we can attain a fair amount of intimacy and understanding as to whether the other person is "up our street", I think. OK, your pheromones aren't going to mingle, but most other signals can be read and understood.

Once I'm emotionally invested, I'm emotionally invested.

It's no different to it's counterpart, is it? Two people agree they're exclusive. The flirting, stalking and kidnapping with/of others stops.

I couldn't even contemplate calling somebody I had never met my 'boyfriend/partner/whatever' , not to mind being exclusive to somebody I had never met.
I guess my experience has shown me one can invest in a virtual relationship with rewarding positive outcomes. I've met two women over the years from CS who I've moved, or least spent extended periods of time in their country with, on the strength of the initial period spent talking to computer screens. Ok, those relationships didn't work out, but the method of introduction was reliable, for me at least.

I also think the older we get, the further we might have to cast the net,
Oh, I totally agree that we can meet people online.

I have done so.

But I don't consider them to be any more than a vague potential, until I have met them in real life.
That's very simple. smile

You chat with many people, exchange e-mails, talk, etc. And, then, you meet someone you like more than others and he feels the same. You spend a lot of online time together and certain feelings start to develop. Chatting/talking, etc. with others stops. Of course, you can exchange friendly messages, but a certain distance should exist. And - you both should feel the same. If you don't - then you didn't actually establish that 'special connection' - it's one-sided. That often happens online. If your 'significant other' continues to flirt with women online, maybe he doesn't feel the same as you.

molly, you will once fall in love online so hard that all your 'practical rational love theories' will look funny to you and disappear in a moment! laugh
I agree with Molly. You can develop a special kind of feeling for someone online but that is about it. I am not going to get upaet if my special virtual friend flirt with others as I don't even know if we are ever going to meet in real life. If we have definite a date and a plane ticket and such then it is a different story.
Hi Kal, a very interesting blog thumbs up I believe when two are committed there heart and eyes should only be on one another. Men need to be grown up men and women should be grown up women.

Here is a quote that means a lot to me. When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child, but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

I enjoyed your blog and comments cheers
I prefer lobster bisque, but chicken noodle soup is quite acceptable too.

Should we kiss friends? Is a hug a flirt? What if we hug and hold? How long may I hold her in my arms before it is a flirt? Are we sure we want them to be alone with friends? What if their intention is honorable but the friends is not? What if the unthinkable happens during an innocent get together? Is there a way back to repair the relationship?
Wrong time of year to grow pumpkins, I got one and it was nice. The watermelons were looking good, about 11 of them... The wallabies let me have 2, grrr! The mangoes are still on.
Hi every one. wave
Thank you most kindly for all the comments. I am not gonna debate as I just want to hear your points of you. Have a terrific weekend. daisy

Wow.. what generous wallabies you have there, Pat8! grin
Aahh... I meant your points of view. doh
Flirting while you are in the his company . it would be safe to say that he is not ready for a serious relationship .
Hi AnnLee, I even dare to say that he is NOT for me. wink
I'm a terrible flirt uh oh It backfires all the time! laugh
You might be a terrible flirt, MiMi, but you surely have a good strategy. grin

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