Vacant Position: Idiot Required

Sometimes I forget that I’m an Idiot and from time to time I need the services of another Idiot to remind me that I’m an Idiot.

One such Idiot did put his hand up for the job but he was too big an Idiot thus overqualified for the job and methinks he rates his own idiotic advice way too high. Actually, I think he’s just over-inflated and believes that he’s the only Idiot in town. And then the same bloody Idiot sent his application to the wrong place by dropping it off on another blog. He should have brought it straight to me.

Anybody wishing to apply for this position may drop his/her résumé or business card (with the word ‘Idiot’ clearly written on it) at any of my existing or future blogs for swift processing. I cannot guarantee my regular appearance at any of the other blogs and dropping it off there may disqualify the applicant. I don’t pay peanuts and therefore monkeys should stay out of this. Only professional Idiots need to apply and no apprentices will be interviewed.

This is not a job for sissies; it entails long hours of vigilant watching and the reading of miles of boring blogs and comments to find something to pound on.

The successful applicant will be handsomely rewarded with diarrhoea-rich verbal abuse whenever he (or she) does the job properly by calling me an Idiot. Sorry, no basic salary; strictly commission only. No work, no pay.

This is a position of equal opportunity and any suitably qualified Idiot will be considered irrespective of race, religion, skin color, ethnicity, or gender. No hawkers, lawyers, female doctors or artificial inseminators please.

As it is not certain how many Idiots are around or how many may be interested in this post, I must request applicants not to mill around but to form a neat line to await their turn so not to block the way for my regular visitors.

Ah, no need to tell me now; I can still remember what I am.


Now go out there and have a glorious day