The Mating Game

The world is filled with single people looking for somebody to share their lives (or maybe just the evening) with. At least some will show an interest in you, other will be indifferent, blissfully unaware of your existence and some will not like you; simple as that! So why do some people have so much difficulty in hitting it off with the opposite gender? It’s the easiest thing in the world; you only need to know who to go for.professor

I’m sure other guys may have better strategies but this has worked for me – when I was young and now that I’m older. All that changed is the age of my ‘marks’. The important thing to remember is that a woman cannot like you until she becomes aware of you.batting

When I walk into a place, whether that is a disco or a charity event, first thing I do is to establish who is looking at me. If I like one of those, I’m half way there. If not, I look a bit further and when I find somebody I like, I make myself visible to her. If I detect reasonable interest I will proceed, otherwise I look for somebody else. Eye contact is most important. This process of silent surveillance will continue until I find somebody I fancy who shows enough interest in me to pursue. I will not go after a woman unless if she shows some interest as well.flirty

The next step is to establish contact. I may ask her do dance or simply park myself between her and the toilet or any other route that she is likely to take. Then I will take a glimpse at her every now and then to show her that I’m interested; without staring at her all the time. If she has lost interest, I drop it and start all over again. uh oh

If she is as keen as I am to meet, she’ll want to check her make-up much sooner than later. As she passes, I’ll smile or wink an eye at her and if she smiles back, I’ll corner her when she comes back. This is her last chance to escape. If she avoids me, I start the whole process over but it seldom happens at this stage if the groundwork was done properly.dancing

If she does not get up, I’ll try to establish eye contact with her during one of my glimpses towards her. That done, I’ll smile at her and if it is returned I’ll look away pretending to be shy and repeat the process once or twice more before walking over to her. wink

And now you have to play it very carefully. Ask her to dance, buy her a drink, do anything to get her to be in your company for a few minutes and remember easy does it. Tell her your name but don’t ask for her name yet. Ideally you want her to volunteer that. Pay her a compliment or two but don’t overdo and don’t tell her she’s pretty or sexy. Rather compliment her hairstyle, her hands, her taste in clothing or something to that effect.conversing

At this stage the only thing that can ruin everything is overdoing. Offer her a seat; do anything to keep her a bit longer. Keep it light, smile a lot and be confident but don’t crowd her. Stick to small talk, don’t start pouring out your love stories and don’t even think about touching her until she touches you. Don’t hog the conversation; give her a chance to talk as well. Sweep her off her feet but don’t run over her with a steam roller. Believe me; it works and most of the time you will leave at very least with her phone number to set up a date the following week.applause

And dating sites work exactly the same. Start by looking at who is looking at you and take it from there. Don’t waste your time with those not interested in you.idea
cats meow cats meow

Now go out and get her.wave

And as always, you don't need to pay me for this valuable advice. I render it as a free service to promote faster hook-up between men and women.devil

Comments (100)

hi Daniela
Yes, it is old fashioned. but it still works. It filters out what comes with shortcuts and direct approaches.

It gets the type of women I like. occasionally something else slips in but it is quickly rectified. This strategy normally repels the women I don't want. Too pedestrian but that is the way I like it. I mean,

After all, it got me a very sweet girl and all we had in common was a turned up garbage bin.rolling on the floor laughing
I also wanted to say...
Since I don't normally frequent bars ...but would rather walk on the beach in some romantic and quiet settings..

So...what is your approach then???

I'd like to share what worked for me once..a few years ago..while sitting on the beach bon a very hot day...

A good looking younger man asked me for some Spanish...he looked as if he was dying of thirst...and as a joke I told him there was plenty of water there...waving my hand at the sea.

Then ...on the spot...a connection was made. Then he noticed I was reading a book in English and started speaking in English when he noticed my French accent.

Really got the poor guy confused.laugh

What a day to remember! wink
It does not matter where you are. Maybe an ice-cream stall on the beach. a vending machine in a hospital foyer, the launderette, or the checkout in the supermarket. if I'm available and she (whoever she is) is in line with what I like, I'll go for her if she shows more than casual interest. Even if the final result is just having a cup of tea together, it is a new acquaintance made. It does not need to end up in bed every time.wink
Oh Catfoot, did I not mention to you that I was a contortionist before?? wink
Hi Mimi,
no, you did not but this seems to be a bit confusing. I thought you wanted him in a straight jacket; not the other way around.devil
I could never quite understand this eyes met across a crowded room.
If im out with friends and i saw someone stare at me from across the room id be weirded out as i dont pick up on flirty cues.

Or these people who hold eye contact across a room for ages without having ever met.....i never got that.
Seems weird to me.

I never approach men....too shy for that.
So he would have to appraoch me and tell me n plain english he likes me or it wud never happen.
I usually lose them when I say "um, so do you like bread?"
Hi Deedee
No, Staring never got me anywhere with a decent girl. I mean take a glimpse at the woman from time to time, just to see if she shows any interest. I think staring will just make somebody uncomfortable and that is not what we want;is it? I just want her to know that I'm aware of her; so to speak.

Anyway, i must go. my GF said she'd be here in five minutes and that was an hour ago.laugh I just heard her car stopping on the driveway. Needless to say that I have been ready an hour ago. As I aid in a previous blog; women speak a different language.laugh
just time for a quick one. I never use pickup lines. I'm not going to bore a woman with old cliches that she's probably heard before. I try to engage in a normal conversation of smalltalk.

gotta go. She's at the door.

it never happened in a bar for me...the first one was through my work, in the office, the second one through a friend in a party...the current one is online, we looked at each other's profile, he sent a like I responded by clicking the like button, we chatted, we met, we ended up spending a wonderful night that first meeting and things are running OK so far...the feeling was mutual right the start, we didn't wasted any time playing the chasing game and we are both happy with the way things right nowlaugh and that's after many years of being here on CS, that's my very first date from CS...before that I was just happy leading them on , never had the courage to meet but they persisted...nothing gained at the end, just a waste of time ...and a good laugh about itlaugh
Nice blog, Catfoot. I enjoyed reading it. thumbs up
Although to an extent, a woman is more shy to make the first move.
Well, there goes my date and my Friday evening spoiled.

Because of a stupid argument about bugger all!very mad
hi Crazy
A bar is not my favorite place to find company but yes, it has happened. And I made the mistake once to hit it off with a girl at a work function. That Monday morning, even before I got to the office, she told everybody that she is now my girlfriend. I like house parties and wedding receptions best but anything will do, I often go with my sister and her husband to a dance; those where you have to take your own beverages in a cooler box. there are so many places were you can meet woman, one just have to keep your eyes

Anyway, after this silly argument tonight I'd probably get the opportunity again to polish my skills.grin

Hi Kal,
I don't like it too much either when a woman makes the first move, especially when I have somebody else in my telescopic sight and it can be very awkward to deal with without being rude.

Women don't have to make a first move. All i want to see is some interest to encourage me. Don't play hard-to-get when you are interested.grin
Hohoho Cat, you made me smiling on your affective technique but let me ask you, did it always work?

I never experience that approach but it's very interesting. cheers
Catfoot, very good advice I think, but as you know in a bar or pub everyone looks good at closing time. laugh
Hi lindsy,
Not on every women but with the kind of women I fancy, it works most of the time. Remember, I don't even try to approach somebody who does not show any interest or curiosity. So I start off with a reasonable chance of success. However, sometimes (not too often though) I may find nobody worth pursuing. That may be due to a lack of interested parties or because none of them fall into my taste brackets. It depends where you are and how many women of my age group are present. Young girls are always available but they're just hookers and players. I ignore them.
Yes, but the idea is to find company long before closing time unless when you're looking for a one night stand and I'm not into that. Pubs are not my favorite hunting grounds.
Too funny, Wen rolling on the floor laughing but I think my Arty can attest to that! laugh

He doesn't visit bars anymore but during his much younger days, like you mentioned, as the night was coming to an end and as the bar was closing, he and his friends had to make quick decisions! banana
Awwwww.....Catfoot, are you ok? comfort hug

Hope no damage done.....blues
Hi Mimi,
No, I'm pissed off.very mad

She spoiled my entire evening. Women!doh

Now I'm sitting here brooding and she's probably asleep as if nothing had happened. frustrated

I don't even want to talk about it. I'm too scared I'll say something that I will regret later.
Hope you'll feel much better tomorrow, Catfoot hug

When Art and I have a tiff, I sure wish that son of a b*tch don't have a restful sleep!! mumbling

When we give each other the silent treatment, I wouldn't be able to sleep, tossing and turning the whole night until I become a salad the following morning! uh oh grin

Thankfully, these silent treatments are getting lesser and lesser......I can't stay angry with him for too long and I resent that empty and heart wrenching feeling....sad

I discovered one thing though, when we had a tiff and not talking to each other, I found myself doing the house chores, which I neglect all the time! By the time I got talking to my Arty again, the house will look halfway decent, all the clothes washed, most clothes folded and ironed! laugh
@ Mimi wave I loved your last comment I had to laugh because it seems in difficult times everything gets done in household thumbs up hug
Wen applause

I think subconsciously I'd purposely pick up a fight with him, when I find my cat finds it hard to crawl out of the pile of unfolded clothes, when my shampoo bottle is empty and I'm using my shower detergent as back-up uh oh when my beloved washed Tupperware containers not stacked nicely but hastily chucked in the cupboard.......amongst many other
Catfoot, You sly devil you ! ! !devil devil devil
Hi Mimi
You know the story. It had to happen some time or the other.

I was not feeling bad about it. I was cross. Not about her breaking up. I was busy building up the courage to do it anyway. I'm not good at breaking up and she did me a favor by jumping the gun . But she did not have to do it that way.

And some of the things she said made my blood boil. I saw a part of her last night that I did not know.

We had plans for today as well. I'll have to see how the day pans out.
Yea, you're right. Somebody else is doing the same thing. I can see her through the window vacuum cleaning her car. Maybe getting all traces of me out of it.grin

Mind you, I was only once in her car and that was two weeks ago.

I wonder what is going on in her mind.confused
Hi Grouchy
Sly? You really think so? I think it is so transparent that any gal can see through it. laugh

It is just a technique I developed when I was younger and there was never any reason to change it. You don't fix something that's still working.
I don't think she picked this fight subconsciously. Nor was it premeditated.

She was definitely still planning to go out with me. She was very late but dressed and ready to go with me until I said something very innocently that caused her to explode. I have never seen her like that.

I'm bamboozled.confused
Catfoot, you know the drill..,,

Women are meant to be loved, not understood rolling on the floor laughing
Not this one; not after last night. This is one crazy b*tch. I have never seen somebody exploding like that. She scared me.
But! Bob

What about just buying a woman a coat/ pink coat at that. And a few gifts?

Because on Robert Blog, it seem to be working for some men's.

roll eyes Just Saying!
hi Angel,
Nah, I don't buy women. i'l spend money on a woman once we have something going but not before. The women I go around with won't make themselves cheap by accepting gifts beforehand. Early gifts normally have strings attached.

i do very little to impress women when I first meet them. If they don't like me the way I am, then it is just too bad. That way I quickly get rid of those who are just trying to gain something out of it.

It's different for women... On a dating site - you just need to take a look at a man's profile or 'be present'. If he's interested - he will contact you. If he's not - there is no much point in contacting him. You can try for fun, but don't expect much. Men are not really shy if they like a woman or are really interested. That's my experience - so far at least.
Hi Maya,
This is a male strategy. Not to be used bu women.

By the way, you are generalizing now. All men are not the same; we are a very diverse group of creatures.

Some will be pushy and some will be very slow and you will find everything in between those two extremes. the problem is that you don't notice the other because they go to work in different ways. You only notice the difficult and the forward because they annoy you.

You see, it is all tied to his intentions and what he is looking for; company, conversation, a girlfriend/wife or just a shag. And not everybody have the same finesse when approaching women; in fact, some have no finesse at all.
Hope you feel better today, Catfoot hug
Hi again Catfoot.
I did the first move sometimes here on CS.
To the man I like chatting with, I asked.. "are we JUST friends?"
Every thing then started from his answer. smile
You forgot to mention , they should not be drunk or smelling of cigarettes , such a turn off . I know some may need a drink to build up the courage to approach .
Hi Mimi,
I'm fine. I'm actually getting some work done today. She came to apologize earlier but I sent her home. She scares the shit out of me. There is a lot of anger hidden below that calm surface. I'm done with her.
hi Kal,
I think it is a natural for a woman to ask. It is an innocent question but it gives the male a very good idea of what the woman wants. It is natural encouragement.
"PLAY NOW: Word Search 2"(meet us in the games)

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