Tired Being Used?
So often we hear people complaining about being used but is that not what people do? People use each other.
I don’t just mean sexually; well that too but in general life people use one another. I don’t see any problem with that. Providing that the word is use and not abuse and providing that the usage works both ways otherwise we are back at abuse. Be a saprophyte, not a parasite
But this is not limited to couples. It extends to every facet of life. Your employer uses you to get some work done and you use your employer to earn a living. Any deviation from that arrangement that would exploit the other the party is no longer fair usage. Friends use one another, family use one another, colleagues at work, and even strangers may use one another if and when the need arise. We need each other.
We find this saprophytic behavior in nature too. Fish living in a whale’s mouth to keep it clean; birds keeping crocodiles’ teeth clean and birds feeding on lice picked off an antelope’s back. Both parties benefit from the action or as they say, when one hand washes the other, both end up clean.
Or look at the relationship between man and dog. You provide a dog with a home and in turn it will keep you safe. Same can be said about cats and horses or even the fish in your bowl.. We use each other all the time.
I think we should think carefully before complaining that we have been used. We may have received more than enough compensation in reciprocated use.
And sometimes we should be grateful for being used. If we were of no use to others we would have been in much less demand.
Eish! It is raining out here. Have a wonderful day.
Comments (40)
I scratch his back and he scratches mine
And that is how it should be.
i noticed that you talk a lot about your Arty.
We have a saying in my mother's tongue:
'Wat die hart van vol is, loop die mond van oor.'
It translates to
'What the heart is filled with spills out the mouth.'
He and I maybe apart at this moment but our hearts are really close....
Nothing wrong with that. It's the way love works.
But the saying is true. Whatever the heart is filled with, be that love, hate, scorn, sorrow or whatever, it will flow from the mouth like a spring in the rainy season.
It is so easy to appraise people by their blogs and comments. Don't look at the words that they say, we all know how to manipulate our words. Just look at the general mood of their writings.
You are saying what I was too scared of saying. I had this line in my blog
What you see here is after it was sanitized twice but in the end I removed it. I'm getting yellow. Normally I say a thing the way I want.
Yes ill admit to using more than ive been used.
If we all got the balance right all the time and and always were on the same page as the other then why is everyone here single or looking ..or maybe not all sorry..
I agree with what u said to MiMi.
Whats in the heart spills out the mouth .
Being used and using is the order of life. As long as I don't feel I am used , I have no complaints.
Enjoy the rain.
I don't think the degree of use can ever be measured accurately. It is how we feel afterwards
But I have a strong notion that most people complaining about being used have an current or an ex complaining about the same thing.
Of course it would not have bothered us then. why would it have?
It's only later that we learn to so no sometimes.
I think we could both be right.
I said most, not everybody. Yes some are just out to get what they can out of a relationship and that will leave people who feel that they have been used.
Alot of what i say at times is said in jest.
Lets all hope we get a little usage on the fuselage soon....
I need to maintain my smile. As we all do
Very well, I have a long memory.
Thanks for making me smile...without feeling used.
And that is how it should be but it does not end there. We all need one another. how sad it is that we don't live in a perfect world where everybody was prepared to chip in equally.
Yep, it has to be give and take. The problem start when give and take ends up on the same side of the table.
I had some of those friends too but I got rid of them through the years. Some of them are still trying but I avoid them as far as I can.
I concur with that statement.
Even though i know u werent talking to me..
Sorry for butting in.
Another thing that I wanted to say but then left it for somebody else to say,
I think that those who allow people to use them without reciprocation wants to be used and then complain to get attention.
Any extreme or radical view will run you into trouble some times; even in the real world. But then it also solicits lively discussions. Those who get rude about a radical topic are the minority in any way. Rational people who don't agree with an extreme view normally stay off it or just make their statement of dislike and leave. some may even discuss it further. It is the weird ones that make a scene. Always the same lot.
And it is amazing how many tomes one actually sacrificed time with good friends to accommodate those not so good friends.
stop that! here we don't but in, We all talk to whoever we want.
it's ok at the same time as well. The more the merrier.
Rubbing it in; are you?
One of these days I'll come up with something controversial again to prove the opposite.
You're right, we're not in the same league. Why do you think I cringe when some troll takes me on. I cannot handle confrontation. No, definitely not for me. I say make love not war.
It is such a waste of time and energy.
I know some people get off on it, but I will leave it to them
I can handle a fight every day as long as I can be a spectator.
but I was kidding just now. I'll mix it
I cannot remember using this emot before.
Thanks for dropping in
You sad that, not me. I don't want my house ransacked and burned.
There's a delicate balance to be maintained, no? Comfortable give and take.
I don't "use" my family or friends in a bad way - I am there for them and they are for me. If I meet people where everything is one sided and only "take, take, take", I'll be gone.
Have I been used? Yes, but never for long or in a way that it did upset me too much. It takes time to get to know people and I do give people a chance and time to get to know them.
Sometimes it turns out that it wasn't worth getting to know them and then I cut off contact. I do feel that time has to be invested to get to know someone, and it often has been time well spend.
Although I just surfed some of this blog I did notice that the word subservient was not mentioned directly.
It may have been eluded to in an indirect way ?.
For those with that attitude, who don't know how too, or are not mentally/strong enough to stand up for them selfs
It would not be "Tired" but "Incapable", The sharks will have their feeding frenzy regardless!. Everyone has a habit of forgetting that the veneer of civilization is only that, a very thin veneer.
A "Darwinian adaptation" perhaps?.