"Ask For Angela"

This is an initiative in the UK for women who feel unsafe on a date in a public place like a pub or nightclub - they can go to anyone working there and ask for Angela.

It's a coded message which says 'I'm feeling threatened, please can you help me' and without any awkward explanations or questions the member of staff knows to stick around, or make sure someone sticks around, until you can be safely removed from the situation.

I've only just heard about it, so in case I'm not the only numpty around, I'm mentioning it here. I think it's a great idea.

If your country has something similar, maybe you could add it to the comments for anyone local who didn't know.

And pity any real Angela types who will cause something of a kerfuffle every time they have to be asked for.
laugh

Comments (24)

BeaPatient
Hello Biff,
What a wonderful arrangement.
I'm not aware of anything like that here.
teddybear
Elegsabiff
So simple and effective, I thought it was brilliant. Bea, this is your chance to enter politics, get yourself known on this platform! laugh
Hello,wave I ve heard of a similar type program here ,in parts of North America ,a yr or two ago.After that, haven t heard a word of it,dunno It sounds like a good program to put in place, (can never argue with any safety measures). And something to ponder, with bars and such places having a high turn over in staff, it might be difficult to keep the program in place,confused Just saying.
MimiArt7348
Read about this on FB some time ago.

Told my daughter about it in case she needs to order that when she's out clubbing.
MimiArt7348
I honestly do not know if them establishment here are aware of this.....

Might need to get my daughter to ask around...
daniela777
Good idea Biff! What happens when men feel threatened...to they also ask for Angela? Lol

I don't know if it works here with the Spaniards????

When I was in a karaoke with a friend a few years ago where was Angela when we got attacked outside by some Morrocan guy who got in our car with a knife???
Everybody was watching till the police arrived some 20mn later!!
That's a great, yet simple idea, Biff.
A bit like ICE on phones.
I have never heard of it here but i hope it does catch on.
It could be built into the training of all new staff.
It could be used by both men and women.

Maybe a similar simple system could be used for children who feel under threat.
nonsmoker
Am I being silly in asking why the code dunno
Why not just say can I have some help with this creep .
Surly the person being a threat will know this code too, as its been on the news and getting international coverage.
confused
Elegsabiff
Hey, 1to1, wave I had never heard of it before but when I looked it up it has been in place for at least a year. I don't think high staff turnover should affect it if it is included in new staff briefings - there's the glass washing machine, always use a clean cloth when wiping glasses, if someone asks for Angela they could be asking for help -

Can you remember, was it the same name in Canada, or North America?
Elegsabiff
The problem seems to be publicising it. You don't want to ask for Angela in front of the guy if he's going to leap up and go ballistic, yikes. The story told when I first heard about it, this lassie didn't have enough money to catch a taxi home (silly girl) but was worrying that the drunker her date got, the more he seemed to be assuming about her. As soon as he went to the loo she asked the barman for Angela and he waved the bouncer over immediately. Bouncer sat at the next table, listening closely, and then went over to say there was a phone call for her in the office.

Point was that she wasn't having to say in a crowded bar to a busy barman, look I think I might be in a tricky situation could you possibly help me - just using the sentence was enough. No fuss no drama instant comprehension.
Elegsabiff
Mimi, definitely worth getting your daughter to ask around - without starting a panic when she does laugh
Catfoot
hi Biff,
Do you know if there is a code for men when the feel threatened.? Other than shouting 'HELP'.grin
hug
itchywitch
wave Biff, why be so secretive if and when in danger?
Elegsabiff
Hi Daniela, no idea if there is something similar in Spain? That's partly what the blog is for, if anyone knows of something similar in their own country.

Men don't usually feel that threatened by their dates, I don't think? I could be completely wrong, we heard of some scary women in my last blog! But the average guy is - usually - bigger and stronger than his date, and more likely to get up and leave without caring if there is a scene.

This does tend to be more the 'I am getting nervous, please give me a way to remove myself without a scene' situation

As for your knife-wielding guy, yikes. wow I'm not sure it would be the ideal time to say excuse me, open a window and ask if anyone ever heard of Angela. I'd personally be more inclined to cut straight to the chase, in view of the obvious and definite threat, and want the police uh oh

That's a story you have to tell in full someday!
Elegsabiff
Cat, i don't! It doesn't seem fair.

Men are just as fragile and vulnerable as women, but perhaps, just perhaps, they may be less quick to ask for help and think instead whoohoo, this woman is saying openly she expects to have sex with me, okay I'm up for that
Elegsabiff
Itchy, as I understand it, it is more when feeling threatened than in direct and personal danger.

So he's drunk and saying how much he's looking forward to having you and you hadn't actually expected to be in that situation and are wondering how the hell to get away because he doesn't look the type to accept it when you stand up and say no way Jose I'm off home now ...

It's just shorthand for saying to the busy staff that you want them to intervene so that he can't follow when you leave, for example. You ask for Angela, they will call you to the phone, or start overtly watching you - you're no longer just a woman in a crowded room where you know no-one and are feeling increasingly anxious.
Elegsabiff
Molly, agreed, but perhaps the reason it isn't spreading much are the objections being raised in the comments - that people can't see the point.

To me it is the difference between saying to a busy member of staff 'I think I need help' in the half-minute Mr X is off in the loo, then trying to hurriedly explain, or saying one simple sentence which is instantly understood as 'I feel threatened'.
Elegsabiff
Non, I guess you could say it in front of the guy if you had to, but the idea is more instant shorthand to explain a situation when he's off buying more drinks or in the loo.

It isn't going to cover every situation and I don't think it is expected to. If he's violent and aggressive and telling you he's going to break your neck if you break up with him, let's not bother Angela. Let's stand up and shout HELP.

But women have been in rape situations where they said tearfully that they didn't know how to get away beforehand. Say you know the guy is bad news, you want to phone for a taxi but you also know he will tip over the edge if you do - he's managed to get your handbag to a place where you can't reach it and anyway if you do start phoning he could get nasty and take your phone away -

asking a passing waiter if Angela is in suddenly looks quite appealing
itchywitch
Oh I don't know Biff, it all sounds a little bit Irish to me but if it works and has helped some then it deserves the thumbs up... some help/assistance put in place is better than none atall thumbs up
Elegsabiff
Itchy, could also be good for shy younger women who don't want to make a fuss or create a scene?

There are worse things to sound than Irish, so laugh
Angelpepper
Biff
confused That Might Sound Like A Good Ideal!









Bob.............laugh
I have read about it and the examples I heard about, have worked well for the people involved. conversing

It is a good thing and I hope some girls won't abuse it for a laugh - it can be quite literally a life saver for some. wave
Hello Biff,wave I definitely remember of a similar program here,but can t quite remember the name used. but it sounds like a good idea.
usha123
El, this is a bad code. Knowing me, I will be asking for Angelo instead of Angela. laugh doh

I didn't know about it. So I am numpty too.

I see numpty underlined red when I type. Is this a word you came up with or is that in the dictionary. confused dunno
evilfugly: "Inspired by Palmy..."(meet us in the blogs)

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