Bad Experiences With Men

My jaw wants to unhook when I listen to what some women have to say about their close encounters of the third kind with men. It crossed my mind that some of these women are just out to make men appear as evil monsters but I’m more than prepared to concede that at least some women may have had some really terrible experiences with men. uh oh

But all this makes we wonder with exactly what kind of men you are involved with? In all fairness, if you date an undesired character, you must expect to be treated in kind. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t say he has the right to misbehave because he is what he is but you cannot cultivate weeds and expect to pick peaches from it.doh

If a friend arranged a blind date and he turns out to be weird, kick your friend’s arse. You have been sold out. Otherwise you must take at least some of the blame – even if just for your inability to spot a bad character for they are not that difficult to recognize. They all carry a lot of baggage and it wells up soon enough in conversation. And if you get into it, knowing that you’re dealing with a dubious character, don’t complain about it afterwards because it was your choice to be with such a man.scold

I have seen it countless times that a woman who comes out of an abusive relationship, just hook up with another bad egg the next time. They find calm relationships dull. Harsh as this may sound, some women are attracted to ruffians and I think they want to be mistreated. I don’t know if they crave for the excitement or the sympathy but they normally get both.shock

I have also been had by one or two women but they were few and far between. The majority of women are normal and rational. Just like that there are many good men out there but the onus is on you to separate the dregs from the wine. If you pick one loose cannon, we can call it a mistake; it can happen to anybody. More than that, it starts looking like a trend. Remember, nobody can force you to date anybody. It’s your own choice. We cannot always blame others for our own bad choices.mumbling
cats meow cats meow

Relax! It is Friday.yay

Comments (101)

I love men smitten

And I love my Arty the most love love love
Catfoot
Hi Mimi
Is it not funny how people can differ? I like women again.laugh
hug
Oh oh!!! Can I rephrase that first statement?? Please?!?


I love much older men.....smitten
Catfoot
Mimi
Then I want to rephrase as well. I love YOUNGER women.rolling on the floor laughing
hug
Why you....!!!!!! scold scold scold



laugh laugh hug
Catfoot
Mimi
Don't worry, I'm kidding. I won't date women who are more than ten years younger than myself. They giggle too much.laugh
hug
Like me, huh?? doh

giggle giggle giggle


I've always had much older men in my life.... Ironically, I married someone who's only 6 years older than I am.
Catfoot
Mimi
My second wife was 18 years younger than I and age was not the problem in our marriage. My sister has a very successful marriage with a man twenty years her senior.
hug
Innocentia00122
I was raised within our family by a good and loving dad, and I like men and find it less complicated to communicate with them. But I think it is because how I grew up and that I could rely on the words of my dad always.

I think when someone was in an abusive relationship and does not ask themselves how this could happen and does not change himself or herself, then everything will repeat itself in every following relationship because you attract always the one who fits to you like the other side of a zipper with all the good and bad mechanisms.

I do not understand well how any generalization can happen at all about women and men. It has always only do do with the individual.
Catfoot
Hi Innocent,
I once read that women has a built-in sense of what they want for a partner. It further said that if a married woman never met her husband, she would have married somebody similar in any way. When I look around me, it makes sense. Woman hook up with the same kind of men all their lives.

I think it is more or less the same with men. All the women I have been involved with were different to each other but they all had certain similar traits.
hug
'I do not understand well how any generalization can happen at all about women and men. It has always only do do with the individual.'

thumbs up applause
KNenagh
People change and people can deceive.

It takes time to get to know someone and sometimes it does emerge that someone is not a good person after a period of time.

To get to know someone you have to give them time and the opportunity to do so. Just for myself, I'm not into being a doormat and don't tolerate behaviour I think is unacceptable for any length of time. If I figured out someone isn't ok, I didn't hang around. conversing

I haven't been treated badly by an ex. However, there was a reason why someone became an ex - no one is perfect and everyone has a side to them that can be problematic. I always knew who to keep away from though. wave wave
Catfoot
Mimi
And yet we generalize all the time. If three persons belonging to a certain ethnic group or race were rude to us and we don't know anybody else belonging to that clan, we can easily assume that they are all like that.

Generalization is caused by a lack of enough samples to evaluate.

If somebody is prepared to condemn all of a certain group because of one or two bad incidents, it is not generalization but hate speech.
hug
Catfoot
Hi KN

And that is why you have not been badly treated. It is simple as that.thumbs up
hug
Annleerose
If the roads were all smooth
Then there would be no rough rides

If the ride is to rough

Stop that bus and run like there is no tomorrow

And that is life
I'm learning pretty fast of which men to stay away from on this site.
Catfoot
Hi Annlee
just think how boring life would have been if everything went smooth.doh
hug
Catfoot
Hi Bear,
Really? The men on this site are angels. Just look at the sincerity in my eyes.rolling on the floor laughing
hug
Catfoot angels.help
Catfoot
hi Bear.
Of course there are a few trolls too.rolling on the floor laughing
hug
Hi Cat,
Luckily I have never directly had a bad experience with a man.
But as you know, it is not really down to luck.
We attract, and are attracted, to the a certain type, to certain traits.
If we do a little bit of introspection, we can look at the bad traits we go for, and choose to not go for those in the future, just the good ones.
But most people don't. Instead choosing to blame every man, and the world. for their 'bad luck'.
But it isn't down to luck, it is down to choice.
Catfoot
HiMolly
It really is as simple as you say. If you sleep with the dogs you wake up with the fleas.
hug
Well, it sounds simpler than it is.
Changing one's behaviour and choices isn't that easy.
We automatically are drawn towards certain things. It takes a lot of self-knowledge,and usually willpower laugh to say no, stay away!
Catfoot
Molly,
The implementation may be problematic but the solution is simple.grin

Old Wen has me on edge here with big words.Three out of ten were longer than 7 letters. I cannot help it. This is the way I talk.laugh
hug
I don't think Wen wants you to dumb down, Cat laugh

Nobody ever learns anything if things are dumbed down.

People just have to up their own game and look up words if need be.
Catfoot
Molly,
But he made me aware of something I never thought about. I have never considered it that longer words may be a type of barrier to less proficient readers. There is not much point in writing if half the people don't understand what you are trying to say. If you write for a magazine you can expect a certain level of for comprehension for the language but here we should consider that many are strangers to English.

I can identify with it. English did not come easy to me and even today I still cannot write or speak English in the way that I really want to.
hug
We cannot always blame others for our own bad choices.

Some or other time, for some or other reason in life most folk tend to play that card...cheers
Cat, it is also a place where people come to improve their English.

I can't imagine the likes of Mimi being impressed if you just used the same short words repetitively (sorry, over and over again laugh )

Write the way you write, speak the way you speak. You do not write in an overly-complicated manner.

It is much harder to read big blocks of text with no commas or full stops, than the occasional larger word that people can google easily anyway.
Catfoot
Hi Luke
This is a modern tendency. We learn it from our politicians. Shifting the blame has become a fine art.laugh
cheers
Catfoot
Molly

Absolutely true. I think punctuation is the biggest single cause of bad readability.
Crunia
LOL woman normal & rational!
I´m very rational, hell I´m.
I "think" it´s not that simple when it comes about love affairs my friend. I have had "no pleasant" experiences with men & women, I have sex with some sort of men and date seriously (emotions involved) with a very special type of person, hence 2 different kind of relationships.

If I decide to put my heart on the game, I realized all of them are quite similar because that´s what I want/like/ look for, sometimes it works for a short period of time, others longer but it always leaves me good stuff although not enough to stay in the relationship.

Love works two sides....or not wink no one´s fault. No drama queen here I´m afraid.
cheers
Catfoot
hi Crunia
Don't worry, I said that only to buy face with the ladies,laugh

I only remember good times from my past relationships; not just in love, in everything. When somebody do me short; be that money, love, or whatever, I put it behind me and go on with my life.I forget about the bad things in life.

When I see a person who did me short again, there is no hard feelings. There is a little red flag inside my head that says 'be careful, he/she did this or that to you and may do it again' but that is it. No other bad vibes.

Generally I enjoy life too much to think of bad memories.
hug
Crunia
Give me 5! I´m with you on that!

If I stop believe in people I must stop believe in myself...and HA! that´s not gonna happen ever! So my "hope" in others is not big (actually is everyday less and less) but it works like Zelda super powers, it refills constantly from hope I have in me, I´m people too cheering

Listen, I have a question for you, may I?
Crunia
(Must go now, have to attend something here, I´ll check later. Thanks)
Catfoot
Hi Crunia
Sorry, my old man came around to see me and we had a few things to discuss. I'm all ears now.
hug
Hello Cat,wave We cannot blame others for our bad choices, I totally agree with, but we live in the day and age where a lot of people blame all their mistakes on others,doh .
As for women, ( I quit trying to figure them out,confused ) , We can t live with them, we can t live without them, Thank God there s vodka,rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
Vodka instead of women? laugh
Catfoot
Hi Molly
Noooo! The vodka only helps to understand better.
laugh rolling on the floor laughing
Catfoot
Hi 12121
As I said to luke, we must blame the politicians for that. They are setting the example.
laugh cheers
Nah it doesn't.

You wake up the following morning with just as little understanding....plus a pounding headache grin
4MaryB: "happy holiday season "(meet us in the ecards)

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