"What doesn´t kill you makes you stronger" really?

I do not fancy Nietzsche, rarely quote him but I particularly don´t like this Nietzsche’s maxim which is often used for ironic effect but it´s also frequently used in a positive way, to express optimism and determination in the face of adversity.

Those who experienced many difficult life events were found to be more distressed in general – but the same was true of some who had not faced any.

Having nothing ever happen to you not only is unrealistic, it’s not necessarily healthy, we need "a reasonable amount of trouble" to learn resilience and how to deal with adversity ....

How much is enough?
When we see how "sugar happens" to us, what are we supposed to think? What doesn't kill us makes us stronger? What about: what doesn't kill you leaves you almost dead????? It´s a possibility right?

In most cultures we exercise control with sanctions and physical and psychological punishment: "to spare the rod is spoil the child" (la letra con sangre entra, a law in Spain) but new educational psychology has been clear: "It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken adults..."

What do you think?
wave
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Comments (62)

It's of my opinion that if the obstacles that I've had to deal with most of my life has "killed me " then I've basically made no growth or progress.

If the obstacles didn't kill me then I've grown stronger.

Also that those obstacles didn't beat me.
wenever
Hi Cach wave I like the part, it is easier to build strong children than to repair broken adults. that's kind of the old saying you can't train and old dog to do new tricks. good Blog thumbs up

I am very upset right now with a Blogger. go to Ann's blog Attention and you will see why.

there is no place on Blog's for this kind of behavior.
johnjjm
here we had all the punshiments dealt in schools .but it has ceased now and is illegal rightly so ...it s a circle needed breaking ....was not only schools was in home as well least we forget
wenever I read the post you mention and I'm in shocked but not surprised on how some people can be so unsensitive.

I was WoW.
Crunia
Yeap BW, I get your point ....but what about if you haven´t survived your events?
I mean...do we really need to learn in the rough way????

Thanks for your opinion wave
Hi Crunia I was raised in a the world of "Hard Knocks" most of my childhood and some of my adulthood.

I didn't have the best/happiest of childhoods.I'm surprised that I turned out the kind of survivor that I am.I had to learn to be a survivor of my circumstances.wave
wave Hi! Crunia

Well! That Maybe True To A Point.

It depends on the situation! Somethings can make you stronger. And somethings can make you weaker/ sadness. Even if it doesn't kill you.
Crunia
Hi Wen joy

I saw that and I´m afraid I disagree with you, it´s disgusting, but there is a place to such behaviours here because we do not have supervision and things like that add "spicy" to our CS lives, have you ever had a look at Forums? Ahhhh you are brave if you can resist that flex

That´s my point. What do we win tolerating such disrespectful things? Does it really make us better? more tolerant? Is this how we are supposed to learn suffering? to be resistant? LOL!!!
Where is the line between what we can tolerate (because it´s a difference of opinion blah blah blah) and a lack of education or respect?

Nothing we can do besides support the OP who is having a terrible time in her life and didn´t need this for sure but ....here we are, nothing else we can do, except ignore it or tell what ever we need to tell if it makes us feel better. I don´t need to say anything, it´s obvious I´m totally shocked with such a lack of empathy and respect.

wave
Crunia
Hi JJ handshake
Our countries are not so different and I´m sure our homes either.
Yes, winds of change for all of us, I see we all recognize what it wrong but I´m not sure we have already identify what to do ....
We can only try to do not repeat history in those who come after us wave
wenever
Cach, I know you are right and you know I have always respected you and what you say, you know me and how I feel for respect and even myself I might not show it and I am always sorry when I do.

But Cach it was the woman's Mother. you know I am going to go off about Mothers

thank you my Damsel hug
Crunia
Yeap ....and do not repeat with your kiss kiss and my kiss
It´s funny you know, some one told me: you are generous and good ....I said: I´m not, I just try to repeat what ever good things I have received and those which were not good, change it....anyway, I´m phylosophical today LOL
hug
Life hasn't killed me but it hasn't really made me stronger either uh oh
Crunia
Yeap Angel...balance must prevail, like everything in life ....and common sense, but expose people to pain in order to make them better and resistant sounds completely absurd and cruel to me. No need.
We will never know how much you or me can resist ...after try and see....not fair to take the risk if we can do it in another way, right?

Thank you wave
Crunia
Yes! Right...thumbs up
Crunia
I know Wen...I really do, believe me.
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde your damsel my dear...
Go off, let´s see if mods do something ....
hug
Crunia
Track,
You are a nice guy here, probably you are same way in RL ..in time for a joke...a nonsense from time to time, you have your interest and your humor, but a nice guy always ready to have a laugh and spread "good" ...is not the logical and reasonable way to be???????
Come here! I´m going to kiss you lips lol!
Crunia
I made not say much to Track! But he does make me laugh a lot. He is so funny! ...laugh


Hang On In There! Track.....thumbs up
johnjjm
yes cruin is about education ..it kinda needs to be started early then maybe it might cease .were all born same way but circumanstances dictate our fates I suppose mostly anyway
MetaMaus
The great merits credited to hard knocks are a fantasy.
champions of experience, my a**
It attacks and alters the core of one's being, one's self, how one relate to oneself and to others.
tip hat wave
I'm trying ladies, I really am :)
Crunia
Yeap JJ....even under same circunstances not all of us react the same way, I think education is the key in order to avoid risks and provide equity & respect to all .....let´s give a vote to that, tofay better than yesterday and tomorrow better than today applause
Crunia
Angel, Track is one of the spoiled by all ladies here.
Get your t-shirt Track: "be like me in CS" lol!
Crunia
I'm Telling You!
I be sitting back, laughing at what Track be saying.......rolling on the floor laughing
Crunia
Hi MetaMaus joy

....I´m sure about that, but if you give up ....they win. That´s not an option for me scold
Crunia
doh only he knows what is comming rolling on the floor laughing ahh the guy with a guitar super
Meta you posted this a few moments agoQuote?The great merits credited to hard knocks are a fantasy.
champions of experience, my a**
It attacks and alters the core of one's being, one's self, how one relate to oneself and to others.
tip hat wave?Quote

Being exposed to the world isn't a fantasy.I respectfully disagree.
wave handshake
Hard knocks
Lots of interpersonal, and certainly biological, truth, in the statement, however. Aa-V-A.
Catfoot
Hi Crunia
I'm inclined to agree with Bear's first comment. We are on a learning curve all our lives and we learn by our experiences. Whatever we survive is a step forward.
hug
Deedee123x
Ive had events in my childhood .....that damn near killed me then..not in the physical sense...in the developmental and emotional sense..

If im honest with myself im still living with those events.

It may not have killed me....im not sure it has made me stronger...whose to know really....i may have been alot stronger had they not happened too.

C'est la vie.
Deedee123x
Meta.
Ur explanation rings true to me.
Well said handshake

Bear.
Have u found any particular life "tool" that helps u get over a bad childhood, that u could share??
If not, no worries handshake
And do you want to know something? Track likes being spoiled and never takes it for granted either applause
MetaMaus
It is not about winning nor about giving up.
Pre and post are no longer the same person regardless of whichever positive spin one wants to give it.
It's a change and evolution not of one's own choosing.
Life is a learning curve which will have and give its bumps and bruises but some lessons we all can do without.
Those are not fantasies, those are nightmares.

Deedee123x
Meta.

Good post.
Some we could definately live without.
Others we could do with having more of.
MetaMaus
hug
It does when we're all in it together like the 1940s or something. It's true for the collective. When the most precious possession on the earth was other people there was no limit to what the self could endure.

For the individual it's more likely to make them bonkers and/or depressed. All the communities, if you can call them that, which have suffered since WWII are today afflicted by dysfunction. Every man for himself sounds gritty but it's actually a spineless self-preservation for the divided and weak.
Suffice it say I disagree with the film title lonely are the brave. Whether it's family, gang or regiment the brave and sturdy come from the closely-knit. I don't believe that individualism, the merchant class and the values we adhere to today have anything to do with courage.
I believe there's a certain amount of strife any individual can tolerate, but there's a whole other dimension in strength which comes from being at one with another. Our era of loneliness, narcissism and self-love only seems to blaze new pathways to saving your own skin and fearing rejection.
Deedee123x
Chesney.

Maybe some need the loneliness and self love in order to regain their own strength in order to "be at one" with others.

You r no good to others untill u get to a level of strength first yourself.
Most need to do this in solitude.
Its not narcissistic.
Its self preservation
Oneness with the other(s)to me explains that behind every great man there's a great woman thing. Two things make a man stronger and braver than his selfish, natural and lazy default and these are 1) teamwork, and 2) believing in something greater than himself. Meet these conditions and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger everytime(unless it's poilio).

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