That Darn Squirrel

Last year on Valentine's Day at a small city park, I was sitting under a shady tree and about to enjoy two chocolate cupcakes with nuts on them, which I had just bought at Miss Woof-Woof's Bakery. I want to add here, that Miss Woof-Woof is one heck of a great baker. If you ever get a chance to try some of her cakes and pastries, don't hesitate. They're great!

Anyways, While I'm sitting under the tree, suddenly a female squirrel ran up before me and stared at my cupcakes with nuts. I shouted to her, "No, you can't have my cupcakes. This is my lunch. I rarely get time to eat lunch these days. Heck, I don't even get to eat much these days at all, anywhere! At home, my dogs stare at me until I give them my food, and on dinner dates, my future ex-girlfriend picks and eats all the food out of my plate first, then eats the food out of her own plate."

The squirrel's eyes opened bigger. It was then I realized, "Oh no! She didn't want my cupcakes. She wanted to grab my nuts! (dramatic music here)

Quickly, she jumped at me, grabbed my nuts, "Ouch, that hurt!" She took them and ran away from me.

I gave chase. But as it happens in scary movies, when a person's running away or toward something, I tripped on one of my untied shoe laces or something like that, and fell to the ground.

Some guy who seemed to have had way too many drinks, and remember, this was only lunch time, he shouted, "Hey, who ya chasing? What ya running at?"

I answered, "That, that squirrely girly, she grabbed my nuts and now she's running away from me. Look at her, oh now she's making fun of me. She just stopped, looked back at me, smiled, shook her tail at me, and she's starting to run away again!"

The guy added, "Well aw-right! I'll drink to that!" As he took a drink from a bottle of booze. "Hail, as a matter of fax, I'll drink to almost anything." He took another swig of booze.

He continued, "The way you're running and falling and all, them there's the things that can happen when you start chasing tail. And-a you're talking about her grabbing your nuts? Ha! That's nothing. My ex-wife had me by the nuts for years. You know, I kind of miss that these days. Gee, no female's grabbed my nuts in a long time, and there you are complaining? I don't understand. I guess those that want it, don't get it, and those that do, don't appreciate it."

The next day I went back to the bakery, bought a double sized chocolate cupcake with nuts on it, the last one they had left for lunch time, but this time I sat in the bakery dining area to eat it. Well, wouldn't you know it. A lady who seemed to be craving chocolate and nuts, sat near me and started staring at me and my brownies with great intent and desire in her eyes. I thought, "Oh no, not again!"

Comments (12)

Here's a song to accompany this blog:

"No One Is To Blame" by Howard Jones

You can look at the menu, but you just can't eat
You can feel the cushions, but you can't have a seat
You can dip your foot in the pool, but you can't have a swim
You can feel the punishment, but you can't commit the sin

And you want her, and she wants you
We want everyone
And you want her, and she wants you
No one, no one, no one ever is to blame

You can build a mansion, but you just can't live in it
You're the fastest runner, but you're not allowed to win
Some break the rules, and live to count the cost
The insecurity is the thing that won't get lost

And you want her, and she wants you
We want everyone
And you want her, and she wants you
No one, no one, no one ever is to blame

You can see the summit, but you can't reach it
It's the last piece of the puzzle, but you just can't make it fit
Doctor says you're cured, but you still feel the pain
Aspirations in the clouds, but your hopes go down the drain

And you want her, and she wants you
We want everyone
And you want her, and she wants you
No one, no one, no one ever is to blame
No one ever is to blame
No one ever is to blame
" Sound Like A Smart Azzz Squirrel! "

We Just Saying! conversing

that Squirrely girly, if she ever gets married, she's going to have her husband grabbed by the ____! doh
But then, if she marries someone like the drunk guy in this story, he might enjoy her being like that to him.

Just saying. beer
Hey Robert,

If you get bigger nuts, she will not be fast when running with them. laugh ...try full walnuts.

....good moral to your story if one looks deep. cheers
Hey Rob,

Good seeing you!

I feed the wild/pet squirrels every morning! If I don't feed them by a certain time, they send a beggar squirrel to my patio door who gives me that forlorn look that I can't turn down!laugh

They are my little buddies. Have quite few around!

With spring coming, will have a bunch more!thumbs up
Hey hey pal Jim,

I like squirrels, and well, most critters. They're all just trying to live and enjoy life, as all of us are trying to do. I like it when they're courting each other, the male squirrel chases the female squirrel all around the trees and yard and every where. But then, it comes to the ole saying "be careful what you ask for," 'cause the next thing I see is the female is chasing the male squirrel, and he is running away from her so fast, he's just a blurr!

Thanks for the comment and good words about your experience with squirrels. thumbs up
That is the moral...I think. rolling on the floor laughing
confused Did You Change The Title To This Blog?!
Sorry Angel, and Johnny too,

I went to post another comment on the newer blog I had up, and the site staff (mods) blocked any further comments. I don't know why.

So, I just deleted the blog altogether.

Of course, we've all seen blogs that curse, cuss, right in the blog titles too, but for some reason, mine got singled out this time.. and well, maybe there'll be another time for me to post another blog, or not.

Have a nice night.. Angel and Johnny, and thanks for making my blogs always more fun.
Johnny cheers
Angel hug
Well Robert, maybe you can make your next blog about something not so offensive like Valentines Day. Maybe, you can write it about the color of the morning sky? laugh
Valentine's day is not for you and Johnny ....conversing

Told Yah!.....rolling on the floor laughing
LOL Johnny, maybe something like that.

Angel, you're right. See, what happens to me at Valentine's time. No luck at all. Sheesh!

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