My bf still open his dating site profile..

Lets just say i met a guy on a dating site, hes good hes great we click, all rainbows
Communication is intense, we got into a dates, he shows his routines i shows mine
He tells me about himself and i told him mine we kissed but havent slept together
Everything is great couldn't be better

I just lost my mother a month ago
And Im throwing back my self in the dating game
Because it somehow feels lonely,
And i needed a friend

But in between our rainbows and our busy schedules he still opens his profile on the dating site that we met
And so did i, i still open that dating site
But in my case its just out of curiosity
which latter its also to know whether hes back on there or not

I cant possibly ask him why he still open the site
It will only make me sound like a jealous gf
And the fact that he didnt ask me aswell....
This doesnt sound alarming does it?

Thank you for any insight, opinions, or tips that can be shared with me today
Hope you all have a good week end

wine

Comments (39)

Hi Kasih
I'm so sorry about your loss of your mother. sad flower
Stargazer111
@ Kasif,

Hello,

May I ask you, what's the reason why you aren't asking your boyfriend directly "why he opened his dating site"?, if you are wondering about the reason why and, want to know of it?.

Thanks.
Kasih
Terimakasih Kalpataru hug
Kasih
Dear Stargazer well i dont know
that he prob lie about his answer
And the fact that i still open my profile, you know ..
Nah. It's fine. As long as you folk don't stray, you're going to be fine. It's not like the mention sites are effective anyway.
Kasih
1one1, got it
He may think things are going so well that he can close his profile - then he notices you are in and out all the time so dunno

doh

Seems like this is a new relationship which is still at first or second base, you guys need to talk before you take it forward to commitment - are you going to both commit 100% and give it a try, or are you going to warm each other's lives up for a while and see how it goes, but still leave the door open to other people

Losing your mum can make you feel very lost and vulnerable and needing unconditional and all-encompassing love pretty badly hug be careful not to turn this relationship into something it isn't, because he may not be in the same place and you could feel deeply betrayed just because he couldn't be what you decided in your head that he was.
TokyoRogue
Kasih

Is your believing he would lie about his answer a reflection on your attitude toward men generally, perhaps you've dated a lot of liars, or has he shown himself to be dishonest before?
Kasih
Dear Elegsabiff, yes im still in and out that site as well and yes were still new. and yes we need to talk about this but mean while m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. And at the same time take ur me advice to not jump to conclusion too fast that he probably the one...
Kasih
Dear TokyoRouge i met some dishonest men from dating sites before. Doesnt mean all men are dishonest on the dating site its just that i happen to met some of the wrong ones.
TokyoRogue
Kasih - so you now automatically believe men will lie if asked a perhaps socially awkward question?

Are you sure that's a healthy position from which to even begin a relationship?
Kasih
well TokyoRouge , we can never stop trying can we? hes a sweet sensible guy a and i like him so there is where it all begins..
only time will tell i guess
If it were me, I'd ask why he still opens his account. And i will tell him honestly that I open mine to see if he's still there. (Openly implying that Im stalking grin some guys would like your possessiveness and find it cute. some will find it creepy. However it may sound, Im telling the truth. Take it or leave it. )

From there, i will take cues fro his response.
Maybe you're just in a different level in the relationship.
Maybe for you, you're exclusively dating, and he's still open with his options.

Better sure than sorry. drinking
Kasih
Thanks Bluescrubs, i will ask him soon, i hope he finds it cute grin
Mine did. Haha laugh grin
However, who am I to say...
Hope you find happiness in him. heart wings
Hi Kasih,

You sound a little confused.

In one breath you're saying you're back in the dating game because you're lonely and in the other you're saying you're still checking up on him.

May I ask how many dates you've been on with him?

I'm sorry to hear about your Mum's passing.

Never an easy time...rose
Kasih
Aw thank you bluescrubshug
Kasih
Berrysmothie, i am confused lol.
Thank you ..

3 meets for coffee 1 movir date and dinner
Its too soon i know
But i really really like him ..
It is early days.

Open, honest communication is the key.

I hope it works out for you both. hug

All the best wave
Kasih
Thank you BerrySmothie hug
liveasyluvhard
What do I know, I am just an old fart. But, follow your gut, it never leads you astray although it is easier to avoid the painful truth sometimes. Good luck and sorry for your loss.
evilfugly
Sorry for your loss, Kasih.

You just need to spend a lot more time with him, getting to know one another better and doing things together.
KNenagh
Sorry for your loss Kasih. One of the worst things that happens in life is loosing family members.

With the guy - early days, you will have to give it time to get to know each other and see how it goes. For your own sake, maybe try not to get too involved emotionally until you know this will go somewhere or not.

If you want this to work, go off the website yourself would be my advise. I don't date off here but I wouldn't like it if someone would still be on a dating website looking around (I take it he doesn't use blogs etc.?).

Concentrate on getting to know each other and see if this could work. If he is serious, he will stop using the dating website and will tell you when you talk about it. If he would continue to use it, it would tell me something about how serious he is with you (or not).

Best of luck. handshake
Sorry to hear about your mother bouquet

You have to have the conversation with him.

Either you are starting a relationship with him, and you are both not technically single.
Or you are not in a relationship with each other, and still are technically single.

Either way, you have to discuss this.

You can't complain about him being on a dating site if you are too. One rule for everybody.
nonsmoker
Maybe he is just on line for the banter.
Sorry about your mum sad flower
wenever
Sorry to hear about your Mother sad flower

Maybe you both are not completely sure of your relationship at this point, give it some time and see where it leads. cheers
Crunia
Hello,
As I think you are asking for a serious comment I tell you what I think....
Yeap he is opening his profile on the dating site .....so do you (even if its for checking him, you do it...that´s the jealousy thing here) .... I would make it simple and easy: ask him.
What ever his answer is, take it and act according to that. After that you have done your part.
Wish you luck on that and hope you have a soon "recovery" regarding your mother sad flower
Kasih
Dear liveasyluvhard thank you. Perhaps that the truth might be painful to me that it might destroy my dreams of being with him..
Is what stoping me ..
Kasih
Thank you evilfugly. I want to spend a lot of time with him no doubt..
Sorry to hear of your loss.

As for the dating site guy, you're there... he's there... you've got your reasons he's got his, who's to say its not the same reason?
You do the same thing so what's good for the goose is good for the gander.
Sorry for your loss. if you are casually dating him its fine if he has a profile. if you two are in a relationship its not and if it bothers you, you should bring it up with him.
Why are you asking the world to about your boyfriend opening his dating site profile when you are doing the same thing. Should I assume by opening you mean logging on?

confused
It does seem a bit soon to see where things with the guy and there are aggravating circumstances which might make him say things that he doesn't really mean. But don't worry, for all you know he's stalking you too.
Trucker16
Sorry about your lost keep your head up baby girl.I'm a man other words he's not satisfied with you and keeping his options open keep your guards up and be cautious
I'm so sorry for the loss of your mum. X

You answered what your seeking to know.

You mentioned that if you ask him he will probably lie as much as we all want those yummy rainbows I would prefer to be alone.

We make friends on dating sites give him the benefit of the doubt as your guy you should feel comfortable talking to him about this.
When I mentioned I would rather be alone I meant it as I just couldn't turn a blind eye for the sake of having someone in my life.
Sorry about your mom.

As long as he gives you his password and lets you read his correspondence on the dating site, don't worry about it. It is when he doesn't want you to know what he wrote other women or what they wrote him is when you need to worry.
Sorry about your moms passing. crying

Ask no questions and hear no lies. Just trust that you are supposed to be together. If he leaves, maybe, just maybe it's because the right one is standing just outside the front door. heart beating
jb6923: "jb puzzle pics"(meet us in the puzzles)

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