When your kids disapprove ...
Mothering Sunday in the UK, hope all the UK mums are being spoiled with, at the very least, a lie-in and a tidy house when they get up
Not a word from my daughter. Oh well. She's furious about me moving to Spain but she's been furious with me for a few years now. Becoming a full-time writer was bad. Joining a dating website was bad. Having an LDR with lots of holidays together was really bad, she was hugely relieved when that was over and she thought I would settle down and become normal again. (As if)
We came over for a week's holiday last year so she could see the Casa Eccentrica before I bought (she's my only heir, she'll be inheriting it) and she said she hated Spain and absolutely hated the house and that's sort of been it.
It's a very odd feeling, having your kids disapprove of you. Anyone else experienced it? Almost a role reversal, where she's the tut-tutting adult and I'm the unruly teenager.
Parenting of older kids is a background support role, parents should be waiting patiently in the wings until and if needed, and I am, I really am. It's just that while I'm waiting patiently to be needed I'm getting on with my life my own way.
Comments (29)
They do this
Don't you miss the days when they giggled delightedly at them, though?
Do you do mother's day, is it a big thing, small thing, not a thing?
Mimi!
Biff, I guess most kids, including adult ones, have an ideal of what their parents should act like, and do.
Depending then on the open or narrow-mindedness of the child, they will react accordingly when the parent strays from that ideal.
And it's your fault, Biff!
Have a grand Mothers Day, you two, lovely Moms!
Driving. Traffic lights. Talk later xx
And time to punctuate so perfectly
Bloody perfectionists
Molly
Thanks, Kal
NS
Hi Kal
Maybe I could redeem myself by dying
Non, yup, in years past I got flowers delivered and a card and I always thought that was OTT. Like I said in the blog, though, a lie-in and no mess to get up to was a lovely thought, even if only once a year
This blog not supposed to be about me,I was hoping I wasn't the only parent glowered at. So far I am.
Later, gators xx
My parents weren't always happy with my choices (but I don't think I was too far out). Anyway, hasn't stopped me from making them and they have never stopped their support to me.
Mum thankfully has found new hobbies and says she is willing to help with the teens, but she wasn't willing to bring up the kids full-time. Mum and my siblings all live at the home place and selling that up would be unimaginable for us, but it's not the case with your place in Scotland. Sounded that you would have moved anyway and what you do with your job and love life is your own business (I presume she didn't asked you when she moved jobs or started a relationship?
I can image that it hurts and it's not fair from your daughter. You don't do these things to hurt or inconvenience her and what you do with your life and your happiness is your business. She doesn't change her life to cater to you and can't expect the same from you.
Hope she sees sense before you drift apart too far.
Much happiness to you Biff.
Im sorry to hear there is a rift between u and ur daughter.
Im not a mother so can only give a thought from your daughters perspective.
Theres been times as an adult where i havnt 'approved' of my mothers actions...but it never made me love her less.
Its hard to sit back and just be there if needed as u say ... but if ye are both easy to anger then it maybe the only thing u can do for now.
Go out and treat yourself for being a good mother....dont wait for it.
When having a conversation with my son. he has only done it a few times but will bring up my past and what do you say other than I don't want you to make the same mistakes.
I don't know for sure but I don't think that ever worked.
The key word that initiated my response was 'Furious'......that's a very deep seated adjective....
boringconventional family and I don't think that helps as she is constantly being asked what I am up to now, as though I am some kind of oddity. Me!Emmy, you a rebel too? Good girl!
Deedee, thanks! - we've never quarrelled about it as such. She's just closed me out, it stings, and it is meant to sting. But the move to Spain was just a final straw, there's been a distance for a while. I'm not the mother she would have chosen - maybe that anyone would have chosen
Getting on with close family is a gift, not a right
Happy SB day
Just - it would be nice to have her cheering me on, you know? Even just 'hey mum have fun, see you whenever, take care'
Anyway the day is over now. Her wedding anniversary in a few days. I'll be the bigger person - I'll leave a message on FB
Whether she agrees with your lifestyle choices or not is irrelevant. You're still her mam and that is what should count.
Here's a virtual hug for mother's day from me instead
I definitely think a teddybear is called for here
And now over and out n'night
Since we are Anglican, we had it here too. But my daughters say I have to wait till May. Apparently, since I don't go to church mothering Sunday doesn't apply to me .
But my weekend was gone for mothering anyway.
Children are selfish.
BW, I once heard it said, a mother's place is in the wrong. So be it.