Friends & Acquaintances

A friend can be anybody who is not an enemy, therefore even an unknown person in another country, whom you have never heard of can be deemed a friend, simply because he belongs to a certain nation or a group of people. This is only for lack of a better word because the word ‘friend’ has another deeper meaning. professor

The word is often confused with ‘acquaintances’ who are not friends at all. Acquaintances include all the people you know who are not friends or family. They are normally brought to you by circumstances which are quite unlike friends who you carefully choose from those you are acquainted with.hmmm

Something else we like to call friends are pen pals. These are people who correspond with each other via snail mail, email, social sites, and so forth. Meeting once or twice does not make them friends; they are merely correspondents who happen to be acquainted with each other. If you want to call them your friends, try asking them to help when you are in a spot of bother.grin

And then there are your ‘work friends’. When you have a special relationship with one or more of your colleagues at work, you cannot call him or her as a friend if just because you ‘cover’ for each other, have lunch together, or have a few pints together after work. If you don’t spend time together outside of the work setup, you are just acquaintances, forced together by circumstances. Will you still keep up the ritual if one of you changes job? I think not. This is more of an alliance or a clique.mumbling

You also have casual friends, buddies; people you like and who you spend time with voluntary because you like them. Some of them are only your friends because there is something to gain by it. You too probably have a few ‘friends’ purely for what there is to gain, be that a promotion at work, influence, prestige or any other favors. buddies

There are many other special relationships formed by circumstances, too many to mention here but the bottom line is that they are not your friends. While it is not impossible for a deeper friendship to develop from it, friends are not forced together by circumstances but rather drawn together by a mutual affection.uh oh

Then what are friends? A friend is a person who shares a mutual bond of affection with you, other than love or family ties. Somebody who earned your respect and who you have selected from those you are acquainted with. Somebody you would entrust with your house keys when you go on vacation.conversing

The real test for a friend is when you are in need' not simply because he can help you but because he wants to; somebody who would do himself short to help his friend. A friend in need is a friend indeed.idea
cats meow cats meow

Have a wonderful daywave

Comments (63)

Catfoot applause

Yes, I have these friends, friends that got my back when I was in need.

I can safely say that I have more than 10 of these friends? They were there for me not only morally but financially as well when my ex lost his job, not once but twice due to his excessive drinking.
Hi Mimi
You are lucky to have that many. I have six real friends (one gay and one female). Between us, we'll break our backs to help each other.
Indeed I am, Catfoot and I know how lucky I am. Also, I don’t take these friends for granted.
Good morning Catfoot wave ,

I think I have been lucky enough to discover and meet a lovely person on this international to whom I'm referring to usually when spoken to others as "a potential friend in real life".

So happy , pleased and content about it.
heart wings
Real friends never take each other for granted. Those who take you for granted are the friends you don't need.
*international site.
Hi Star,
Yes, you can meet a friend anywhere. In fact, friends may meet under the strangest circumstances. I was just lucky that I met mine as a child.

I know two fellas who started their friendship with a fight. After they ruined each other's faces in a bar fight, they shook hands, had a beer together and have been best friends ever since. And believe it or not, since then they 'dusted' each other several times but the fights always ended the same; with a handshake and a beer. laugh
Oh one more thing, Catfoot.

I regard some of the people on this site as my ‘friends’ even though I’ve not met them in person. I’ve said this on here before, it’s just a matter of time ( and money grin ) before I meet them!
Star applause hug teddybear
Hey Mimi, lovely heart hug kiss ,

applause hug teddybear
Hi Mimi
But meeting them does not make them your friends. I don't say that a deeper friendship may not develop but you cannot call somebody on the other side of the world a friend. It is just somebody you know and who you happen to like. A true friend goes a bit deeper. Can you compare them with the ten or so friends that you mentioned in your first comment? If you are urgently in need of money, will you ask them for help if if you do, will they comply? Friends help each other in need.

Look at you and I, we have been 'friends' for a very long time but we know nothing about each other. Even if I should should visit Malaysia and have lunch with you a few times, there will be nothing of it left afterwards but a few memories. We won't even know when the other one is in trouble and I doubt it if any one of us will offer financial assistance if we were asked for it.

So you see, it is just not the same.
@ Catfoot,

I can identify with friendships starting after a fight but, definitely not physical ones, just verbal confrontations that with my loud voice are heard about 1/2 km away at least and by all in the area that time.

The good thing is that I never result in swearing or accept any swearing of me.

It is a fact that this international site just gives us the opportunity to connect with different kind of people all over the world that we would not even known of the existence of any of them in this life and world.

In addition to this, someone can exchange ideas, share experiences even get a worthwhile opinion on a specific matter that troubles one.

However , not everybody does this or is here on this site with this purpose and reason why.

Not that they should, just clarifying that what was previously mentioned is not the rule but simply as witnessed and experienced by me on this site, just the exception to a rule and opposite to this rule.

I guess we all pick up and choose what suits us as persons.

Have a good day Monday! hug
@ Catfoot,

Meeting any person in real life, 100 or 1000 times or even for years does not necessary makes them "a friend".

Hi Star
That is exactly what I'm trying to say. A friend is something special, not just somebody you know. Even if you get along ok, it still does not make the person your friend.

Very true, I agree with it.
Catfoot, can I borrow from you USD500? batting
Hello Cat,handshake Friends and acquaintances sure strikes home with me. My MS I have ,has sure shown me who my true friends are. You d be surprized how many people, (former good friends) avoid me . And you d be surprized, like myself, at those people, who I thought were casual friends, who are forever phoning, and stopping in to see how I m doing.
A few neighbors, and myself , with health issues keep tabs on each other, and you d be impressed with the level of concern involved, must be the birds of the same feather stick together. As for women, you d be surprized how many of my good female friends, I should say former friends, couldn t be bothered with me since my MS, and yet I m still a fairly active person,confused Its been a learning lesson.
I have my own saying about friends, > A true friend is a treasure.
Good morning Cat
The image below is how I view friendships.
There are the lifelong ones who are in the inner circle, and then it graduates out slowly depending on the type of friendship it is.
The inner circle will always be there. These are the friends that are always there for you, no matter what. And you are always there for them.
I am lucky to have really good friends in the inner circle range. We are always there for each other. Some I see regularly. Some I see only once a year or so. But we always know that all we have to do is pick up the phone if we need each other, no matter what the distance.
Friendship is highly important to me. It is like any relationship. You get out of it what you put into it.

Hello Molly wave As usual I agree with what you re saying, about friendship being like a relationship, you get out of it, what you put into it.
Hi 1to wave

I put friendship on a very high level of importance.

After all, if you don't have good friends, what else do you have?
Hi Mimi
Sure thing, but you will have to put down US$800 as collateral. Hmm, and then there is the matter of interest. normally we work on 50% but as you are a very valued friend, I will reduce it to 40%.grin
Hi 12121,
Indeed, that is the way it goes. True friends are rare and you only discover who they are when you need them.
Hi Catfoot, I have a lot of friends and I believe if I ever needed them or them me we would be there for each other, and that is a good thing to know. we might not be in touch with each other everyday but I have no doubt they are here for me.

A friend is someone you know so well that if you have a problem and you go to them you pretty much know how they are going to respond because you know them so well, it is the support they give you that counts the most.

Good blog thumbs up good to see you back my friend cheers
Hi Molly,
I have a similar model, just not expansive.

1. An inner circle of six close friends.
2. Next comes the 'just friends'; not all sincere but people I would invite to my house and associate with.
3. Then there are the buddies; colleagues (now Ex), those I talk to at meetings and those I sit with in a pub etc.
4. Acquaintances and I handle them as the come.
5. Last comes those that I dislike and avoid for some reason or another.

As circumstances change people are promoted and demoted between categories except for the first which is a impenetrable brotherhood and the only 'outsiders' ever allowed in there is our spouses and lovers who are accepted unconditionally.
I know I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed but I ain’t that stoopid either!! tongue tongue tongue
Hi Wen,
I was not gone. I was just very busy last week. I'd be leaving for Pretoria some time next week to visit my daughter for a week or so but I'm sure I'd be able to show my face during that time..
Cat, my model wouldn't have so many concentric circles either, it was just the first one I found to copy laugh
Hi Mimi
What's wrong now. I think I made a decent proposal. If you're not willing to put up the collateral then you never planned to pay the loan back. Or is it the interest rate. Talk to me. You're such a great friend; maybe I can squeeze out another percentage or two.laugh
I think I realized that but I can never resist a bit of heckle.laugh
So I am supposed to say that my families and my lover are not my friends then? But I heard so many times some said like "my sister is my best friend." or "my brother is my partner in crime (means best friend)" or "my wife is my best buddy" etc etc.

Anyway, I have never tested my friends (I mean not my family nor my lover). So I don't know how many friends I really have.
But when one of the ones I considered my friend came to me for financial help, I was there for her. Because I knew deep in my heart she would do the same for me if I were in need. Once a looooong time ago when she and I studied at the same university, she came all the way to my house (I was ill at that time) only to tell me that there would be an important test in class the next day. I took the test but she didn't. Taking a long walk to my house, she got ill.. worse than I was.

Since then, I always remind my self to be there for her whenever she comes to me for help.
And I guess, according to your explanation on this blog, she is the only friend I am 100% sure I have.

And about my acquaintances, do you think I can call them my good or best acquaintances if they're not called friends, Catfoot?
But then acquaintance somehow doesnt sound comfy.. so I still would prefer to call them my friends. grin

Hi MiMi, my friend! wave hug
(seeee it sounds better laugh )
Hi Cat,
I have a few friends that defies the word friend. I would go out of my way to help even if they were 'guilty'. The simple reason for that is because I know the caliber of these guys and hopefully they would do the same for me. Actually I have no doubt that they will.
Kal my friend!!! applause hug
And it does sound better!

Catfoot snooty
Luke, Brothers in Arms?
Kal, if family members are also your friends, of course you consider them to be friends.

Not all people are lucky enough to be friends with family members though
"The real test for a friend is when you are in need' not simply because he can help you but because he wants to; somebody who would do himself short to help his friend. A friend in need is a friend indeed"
To those who I have offered my friendship (not so many) they know I´ll be on their side no matter what happens. It´s compromise. An honor which must be respected and protected.
"A good friend is like a four-leaf clover; hard to find and lucky to have."
Irish Proverb
Hi Kalpa
To say that my sister is my best friend is just a manor of speech. Not everything you say in English is to be taken literally - something I noticed that the people from the Orient often miss. Your sister may be like a best friend but she is your family. Any proper dictionary will tell you that there is a distinct difference between family and friends.
Hi Lukie
That is what it is about. total acceptance no matter what. When one of our inner circle of friend turned out to be gay, we overlooked it. It took him years to tell us what we knew all the time.
Kal, can we exchange some family members??? wink help
I think my time was taken when I had my kids .
Grandchildren are taking there share of it as well .

To be honest I was not to much into the friend zone , meaning we would meet on the streets , weddings church and also funeral and chat a bit .
reb56: "usa flu."(meet us in the forums)

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