Expectations. Part 1

The following blog



titled "When you are expected to pay for lunch or dinner on the first date offline. Online dating part 2" was created on the 30/1/2018 and was left in a draft form in order to be picked up and continued later on the subject of "Expectations" , subject of this blog today.

The specific blog regarded the expectation of my person paying for lunch or dinner in unwanted and unwelcome ways that definitely did not include paying half or the whole bill for lunch or dinner at a restaurant.

The expectation regarded the first date offline.

Subject of this blog is therefore, expectations in regards to the first date offline.

For the reason that expectations is a vast subject , this blog excludes expectations during dating or relationships in real life.

It is restricted to online dating and as mentioned earlier , expectations in regards to the first date offline and in real life.

As such the specific blog is referred to and includes a specific group of people that can be found online and this dating site.

Under this category or group of people come only those who plan or intent of dating in real life and/or to meet in person and real life.

Therefore, the questions included in this blog are primarily directed and concerned with this specific category/group of people.

The following scenario part of which are the questions of this blog is being given for better understanding purposes of this blog,

Hypothetical scenario

You have made contact with a person of your liking and interest through the private message service and begun getting to know each other.

Your liking of each other for another grows as you chat more and more. It appears and feels that "you hit off" with one another and after a certain time of chatting with each other, you both decide and agree to meet in person and in real life, have your first date offline.

Questions

1. Do you have any expectations in regards to your first date offline and in real life?.

2. If yes, what are these?.

Thank you for reading and looking forward to hearing any answers.

teddybear
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Comments (184)

@ Krinka..... just to answer your query.

mine came ENFP-A (Campaigner)
Good morning everyone! I will respond to the comments made in a while after my position as an operator of this blog is made to Akash70 as he does not seem to understand from being blocked out after what is considered by me abusive & disrespectful behaviour that no further contact or communication or interaction with his person is wanted or welcome by me, including my blogs not just the private message service.

Thanks wave
Thank your response Mercedes wave hug
@Kal.....errr errr errr....have you done Krinka’s personality test?
i think you must be a dreamer, because you must have dreamed it up. grin

Had I been chatting to you on webchat I am sure I would have seen a big smily face looking at me.....on the pics you have posted on your blogs, you always have a lovely smiley face! although sometimes a smiling shadow...lol hug
Thank you for your response Mercedes not "Thank your or response Mercedes" doh
*It also does not mean that...
@Stargazer111

I have never exchanged any private messages with any of the participants of this blog. My blocking settings allow only rare people to contact me and I have no wish to interact with people from forums and blogs privately any more, after having some unpleasant and weird experiences (apart from several RARE nice people I've been in contact with for a while, none of whom has written anything here).

Being ''nice and polite'' on CS forums and blogs is often misunderstood and misused. I sometimes wonder where some people live if they think that ''nice and polite'' actually means ''weak and insecure''. It must be some very sad and lonely world... sad

I said all I had to say on this blog and this topic and I apologize if I wrote too much off topic and said something unpleasant or disturbing to others. smile

wave
@Krinka......I’m nice!! grin

Actually Krinks imho, you have been lovely in here and said, done nothing tomupset anyone...just great comments. Off -topic? All blogs tend to go off topic, but often add some spice and regenerate a blog.
Like your personality test was welcomed by everyone...including The blog author Star
hug
PROTAGONIST PERSONALITY (ENFJ, -A/-T)
Everything you do right now ripples outward and affects everyone. Your posture can shine your heart or transmit anxiety. Your breath can radiate love or muddy the room in depression. Your glance can awaken joy. Your words can inspire freedom. Your every act can open hearts and minds.

David Deida
Protagonists are natural-born leaders, full of passion and charisma. Forming around two percent of the population, they are oftentimes our politicians, our coaches and our teachers, reaching out and inspiring others to achieve and to do good in the world. With a natural confidence that begets influence, Protagonists take a great deal of pride and joy in guiding others to work together to improve themselves and their community.

My results ^^^
@Merc.....heyyyy..me too - protagonist.....hug
Robby hug
Hey Krinka wave ,

Welcome back to the dreamers!heart wings Very glad to see you :-)

I've never said , meant, intended or implied anything bad about you in what I said or ever thought...

I'm very sorry if anything that said unintentionally caused any negative feelings to you.

That is very true what Robbyreal said in his comment that I adopt as also words and feelings that express my person and feelings for you as well,

"Actually Krinka you have been lovely in here and said, done nothing tomupset anyone...just great comments. Off topic often add some spice and regenerate a blog.
Like your personality test was welcomed by everyone...including The blog author Star".

It is true, the personality test was very accurated, appreciated and greatful for it to you that I learned something new and all of us discovered some more common ground together.

As mentioned in my responses to you " it was very accurate" and this was the best diversion of the subject ever! yay

Please return to "the dreamers".

I'm waiting for you...heart wings

If you need me to explain the words in the paragraph of the comment addressed to you that it is my belief that you misunderstood and took completely the wrong way even though I said I don't want to talk about the specific subject then I will.

Please come back! sad flower
@Stargazer111

I'm not angry or anything. smile

But I did my share in chatting on your blog. laugh

I really said all I had on topic, so I hope some other members will continue expressing their opinions. smile

wave
Hey Deedee wave ,

Join the crew of Mediators! (INFP).

Mission: Krinka to return to "The Dreamers"!

It seems that you and I are the only Mediators of this group.

Based on the personality test , only 4% of the population amounts to INFP(mediators).

What population of what country or whether worldwide or not (if that is ever possible), I have no idea.

It is amazing that, there are 16 different types of personalities and 3 out of the 5 people in this group who have already taken the test are ENFJ(Protagonists).

bouquet
Krinka!!!! applause applause cheering

Wow! You are really back! applause cheering cheering

I'm so happy now!! heart beating
@Stargazer111

I don't know why you cannot open the forum...

It is called "NF's Temperament Forum - The Dreamers" and this the correct link:



Maybe you should try from your PC?

Maybe it's a better place to search for a date than CS... laugh
Krinka,

Thank you for the relevant chart you provided.

Do you know what population the percentage of the board you have just presented , refers to?.

It will be very interesting to know.

thumbs up hug bouquet
Oh believe me Krinka, I will be heading there because I definitely believe that us better place to meet someone than CS so hopefully that link will open up.

I will try it again now.

P.S:. At least we know all guys there are NF thumbs up heart1
Hey Kal wave ,

I arranged those expectations following one after another in time. So it's more like a chronological order.. bouquet

Thank you for the clarification Kal.
I copy and paste your expectations below along with the conclusion so, people reading this won't have to go back 2 pages to discover what your expectations we are talking about are in the case they are interested in you.

(1) him to be like as what he said about him online.
(2) us both to enjoy our conversation and other moment till the time is up and we say "lets meet again".
(3) him to like me too if I like him. flirty

But if nothing does meet any of my expectation, oh well.. C'Est La Vie. wine

Great comment & attitude! bouquet
@Stargazer111

Some people on CS forums did the test and got the results. Most of them aren't active on blogs, though. You can start a blog about it if you are interested to know. smile

Since you liked the test so much, here's one more for you:



This is also a very good one. thumbs up

I was thinking about other options to meet someone (apart from dating sites, that are mostly useless) and thought about forums, too, but the problem with forums is - AGE. You almost never know the age of people posting. There are some very large forums, like Reddit, with hundreds of millions of members all around the world writing about any possible topic you can imagine - but you never know their age. It's similar on Quora, for example. That's a big problem when meeting someone. Even if people use their own photos (not avatars) it's sometimes hard to tell their age only from looking at someone's photo. dunno
Hey Pat wave ,

Pat
My expectations are that we sit there staring at each other suspiciously for a while, then start arguing.
Kalpataru•
Will you bring your walking stick on your date, Pat8?
pat8lanips
pat8lanips•
Maybe after dinner and arguing, we can go shopping for "his and hers" matching walking sticks.

Based on the conversation between you & Kal, it's a relief to assume that you were not talking about your expectations for the first date with me.

It sounds to me like having to go through a live nightmare in real life starting from the first date,

1. we sit there staring at each other suspiciously for a while, 2. then start arguing.


wow pheeeewwwww conversing wave
I didt that test....confused Fairly accuratethumbs up

The Perfectionist/The Peacemaker/ head banger
Hey Kal & Pat wave ,

Why don't you also take the personality test and both tell us what type from the 16 personality types you are?.

Several people (6) on this blog have taken this test.

I sent you the link below,



Whoever else reading this and has not yet up to now taken the test , maybe they also want to take this and share with the rest group here their result.

Thanks wave
Didt de last test: LOGICIAN PERSONALITY (INTP, -A/-T)
dunno What can i say, its exactly me. tip hat
@Geronimolion

You are not a dreamer! scold laugh

I'm wondering if some INFJ is going to show up... daydream
@ Geronimo wave ,

Thank you for sharing with us your personality test results.

Maybe you can bring the characteristic traits or basic description of The Perfectionist/The Peacemaker personality type as Mercedes & I did over here??!!

That would be very much appreciated if you could do that.

Thanks wave
I am one of the common as muck ISTJs laugh
@Stargazer111

Here are the threads:

MBTI Personality Test


Enneagram Test


By the way, I scored Type 4 (7 points) and the next one is Type 2 (6 points) on the Enneagram Test. Later I read that it's not so usual for an ENFJ to have Type 4 on this test - Type 2 is more logical, but it happens with ambiverts (people who are somewhere in the middle between extroverts and introverts - I'm extrovert 53%, introvert 47%).

It is unusual to have 3 ENFJs at the same place. smile I rarely have the opportunity to meet one. smile

These tests are good and worth a little more reading about online - when you have the time. smile

Those were just the ideas about potential places to look for "international love". Otherwise, I've given up on that idea, myself - at least for now. laugh
@Stargazer111

Geronimolion's The Peacemaker (the Nine) is form another - the Enneagram Test
To everyone...

wave
Good morning Molly wave ,

Thank you for sharing your results of the personality test with the rest of us here.

I've just had a quick look at the personality type of ISTJ. That's the Logistician, fact minded people...

Would you like to bring forward in this group some basic characteristics of the personality type of the Logistician you were found to be?.

Thanks.

wave
following the 16personalities.com link and test I'm
INFP-T
Mind: 11% extraverted,89% introverted
Energy: 76% intuitive,24% observant
Nature: 47% thinking,53% feeling
Tactics: 12% judging, 88% prospecting
Identity: 33% assertive, 67% turbulent
wave
I am an INTP A
This is very much with me like this:
"Absent-minded – When Logicians’ interest is captured, their absence goes beyond social matters to include the rest of the physical world. Logicians become forgetful, missing even the obvious if it’s unrelated to their current infatuation, and they can even forget their own health, skipping meals and sleep as they muse."
I wish I had not to sleep.

This, too:
"Second-Guess Themselves – Logicians remain so open to new information that they often never commit to a decision at all. This applies to their own skills as well – Logician personalities know that as they practice, they improve, and any work they do is second-best to what they could do. Unable to settle for this, Logicians sometimes delay their output indefinitely with constant revisions, sometimes even quitting before they ever begin."
That is my life regarding what I do. I have actually finished projects, works, ideas in my drawers, but they feel not finished yet.

This, too:
"Very Private and Withdrawn – While Logicians’ intellectualism yields many insights into their surroundings, their surroundings are ironically considered an intrusion on their thoughts. This is especially true with people – Logicians are quite shy in social settings. More complicated situations such as parties exacerbate this, but even close friends struggle to get into Logicians’ hearts and minds."
Yes, my home is my brain.

This, too:
"From the start, Logicians take their relationships seriously – their imagination and vision, and the challenge of getting to know new people, make them all too aware of how important it is that they’re involved with someone, and they will prove themselves surprisingly loyal. Even early in the dating phase, Logicians are unusually direct and honest, doing their best to express their mindset and create mutual understanding, believing that this shared knowledge will help to minimize misunderstandings and avoid conflict."
And I do not understand why, when we are honest with each other, there is the need for confirmation of my loyalty or love verbally permanently. Either the said and the commitment is true or not. But if the other one needs that and he tells me that, I will think of it.

all quotes from
Star, this is just a short part of the description:

Strengths & Weaknesses

Honest and Direct –
Strong-willed and Dutiful –
Very Responsible –
Calm and Practical –
Create and Enforce Order –
Jacks-of-all-trades –
Stubborn –
Always by the Book –
Judgmental –
Often Unreasonably Blame Themselves –
Insensitive – While not intentionally harsh, Logisticians often hurt more sensitive types’ feelings by the simple mantra that honesty is the best policy. Logistician personalities may take emotions into consideration, but really only so far as to determine the most effective way to say what needs to be said.

LOGISTICIAN FRIENDS
Logistician friends are not spontaneous. They are not talkative, or particularly playful in their affection. What Logistician friends are is loyal, trustworthy, honorable and dependable. Others may come and go with the ups and downs of life, but Logisticians stay by their friends’ sides no matter what, with a deepness of commitment that other types may not even believe is possible.

True Friendship Is a Plant of Slow Growth
Logisticians are a very methodical personality type, and this loyalty isn’t given away lightly. Often slow to make friends, Logisticians usually end up with a smaller circle, but they consider that circle to represent a promise to be there for the people they care about, and Logisticians’ promises are not easily broken.

People with the Logistician personality type don’t like conflict, and this applies to how they select their friends as well. Seeking out friends with similar principles and opinions, Logisticians most often befriend other Sentinels personalities, who are likely to share their perspective and world vision. While they are unlikely to become friends with substantially different types – it simply takes too much energy to bridge the communication gap – Logistician personalities still recognize and appreciate others’ strengths and qualities.

LOGISTICIAN RELATIONSHIPS
Logisticians are dependable through and through, and this trait is clearly expressed when it comes to their romantic relationships. Often representing the epitome of family values, people with the Logistician personality type are comfortable with, and often even encourage traditional household and gender roles, and look to a family structure guided by clear expectations and honesty. While their reserved nature often makes dating Logisticians challenging, they are truly dedicated partners, willing to devote tremendous thought and energy to ensure stable and mutually satisfying relationships.While Logisticians are able to provide surprisingly good emotional support, this only happens when they realize that it’s necessary, and there’s the rub. Logisticians are not naturally receptive to others’ emotions, not unless they are stated clearly, and a partner usually only says “I’m angry” when it’s too late to address the initial grievance.
Partners who share the Observant (S) trait are the best fit for Logistician personalities, with one or two opposing traits to create balance and to expand Logisticians’ sometimes overly isolated world, such as partners with Extraverted (E) or Prospecting (P) traits.
Not sure if I like my result laugh
laugh Merc
There are always going to be some parts we don't like laugh

Mine basically says that I'll always be on a collision course with ultra-sensitive people as I would be too blunt for their liking, and they would find me lacking in sensitivity.
Molly you just described me to a "T" giggle
laugh Merc
Nothing is set in stone though. I have always been aware of those traits. And if it is someone I care about, I do stop myself before saying/doing it, and think how they may perceive it. Soften the blow.
Molly

When I soften the blow it goes over their head so my blow's become hard for those who are close to me it's my way of looking out for them.

Sometimes I have to be cruel to be kind if you know what I mean?
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