What is a friend?
We take for granted our need for friends but really what is a friend? Well, on one level a friend is the opposite of an enemy, so anyone on your side could be considered a friend. This might be so in war but in peace, we are far choosier about who becomes a friend. Of course there are many people we might call friends but only because we hang out with them from time to time. And then there are those who we are acquainted with and who are our peripheral ‘friends,’ that is to say those on the outer circle of our social network. Then of course there are our on-line friends who give us an illusory sense that we are not alone. But who counts as a real friend, someone who will be with you when you do have a battle to fight, when you have a real struggle going on?Being a foreigner in China these past years (no longer) has meant I have had to rely totally on friends to help me survive and so I have done my best to cultivate friendship. I haven’t had family to call upon and because my Chinese is so poor I have had to rely on friends a great deal. The practical help they have given me has been invaluable and for which I am forever grateful. However, there has been one level of friendship which has been much harder to come by and that is a friend whom I could share my heart and soul with.
We all have difficulties and problems with this life but who do we share our deepest concerns with? Who do we share our feelings with when we are at our lowest ebb? Now, you might have a partner, husband or wife who can take on this role but what if you can’t share everything with them because to you, they are your problem? Only a very good friend can be your confidant in this situation.
Each one of us needs a true friend who we can share our insecurities with, someone who we can trust. Only a true friend will not share with others the problems we have. But my question is, why is such a person so difficult to find? And even if we do have one, is one really enough?
Comments (10)
What about asking: "what is friendship"? Is it a two-way thing, or can it be only one way?
I´ve been a "friend" to many people in my life - the way you describe, someone you can rely on, someone who is always there for you - not only for good times, but also in not so good times, and also very loyal.
However, I haven´t had many who I could call my "real" friends - and mostly one-way friendships.
Since I´ve been in Spain, I have had 2 good friends who I know I can rely on when I need them.
As for the virtual world....... There´s nobody here that I can trust to call them my friends.
There are just "buddies" as far as I am concerned and the less they know about me... the better!
Until you actually meet them in the real world and they have proved trustworthy, then, and only then, you could consider them your friend.
That´s my two cents for today. Enjoy!
not very FRIENDly of you is it
Hello Buny and welcome to the blogs
I don't do this friend thing to be quiet honest, so I don't have cause or reason to be here other than warn you of so called friends that are always there for you
Sorry to have to break it to you, but no one is all they seem to be
So please be careful
I enjoy reading the comments of others, even if they contradict my own thoughts.
Thanks Itchywitch for your kind words of warning. "so called friends that are always there for you". Sure, I understand that but I'll take the risk. I guess I'm like a little puppy who wants to make friends with everyone, at least until they kick me. I believe that underneath the exterior of "I am" is another person, one they probably don't know. Also everyone can teach us something. "no one is all they seem to be". That's right because we all don't know who we truly are. Thanks also for the video, it's good to look on the funny side.
Yes, Daniela, friendship is a "two way thing", I quite agree. And also what you put into a friendship, you don't always get back. I have been let down and probably I have let others down too. I think close friendships are important because they help us to see things we can't.
Regarding replying to the comments.....
You can either write and post a separate comment to each person who commented,
or... if you prefer to post only one, then you can write each name on the same comment.
Are you with me? I suppose you are....
"And also what you put into a friendship, you don't always get back. I have been let down and probably I have let others down too. I think close friendships are important because they help us to see things we can't".
I also agree with that.
However, about not always getting back what we put into a friendship - or it could also be doing someone a favour - we might not get it back from the same person but I´m sure we´ll get it back somehow along the line...
Same as the law of Karma? "We reap what we sow".... as long as there is a balance...somewhere... some time..
Here for you..
I'll try harder.
Excuse most of my following comment .. much was said to coincide with the clip but I guess it wasn't funny
my humour has taken a funny turn for the worst today, my apologies for that as well
Gosh I better make a quick exit out of here before I'm sorry I ever came in here atall
To enjoying the remainder of your day and the friendship you seek
"The best kind of friends is the one you could sit on a porch with...
Never saying a word....
And walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you've ever had!"
You put it so real!
Maybe a quest counts!