Men And Their Emotions - Weakness or Strength?

After my last blog about Men vs Women, I was asked the question by Johhny - and was even told by another male blogger that "men who cry are weak"!! Then Loulou suggested that I write a blog to explain this.
So, here we go.... This is not just my opinion, but it is mainly based on personal experiences.

Crying is something that everyone does; it’s a normal part of life. However, if you’re male, it´s a different story!
Quite often some people associate men crying with being weak, effeminate, or gay and make them less than whole if they display any emotions.
An alternative view is that it represents caring and compassion, along with a display of a lack of ego, strength, confidence, and self-awareness.

What does it mean for a man to be strong? Does it mean he cannot cry, he cannot be vulnerable, he has to be invincible and never show someone he trusts his weak or vulnerable side? Does that make him any less of a man? Or does it make him more human, genuine, and honest?

Anyone who is comfortable with themselves doesn’t worry about others’ perceptions about their self-expression.
Men usually let their Ego control their emotions. But it is certainly better to release emotions, rather than bottling them all up!

I´ve always been of the opinion that there is a sacredness in tears. They are not a mark of weakness, but of power. They can be the messengers of overwhelming grief, of unspeakable love.

I´ve heard many men saying that crying is a weakness because you're opening yourself up in front of people and making yourself vulnerable? But, vulnerability takes strength and bravery.
Weakness is the opposite of openness ... hiding away from the world what makes you special, to protect it or make you feel safe.

So... to all the Men out there...Say how you truly feel and stop protecting your heart. Unless you open up, no one else can ever really get in. scold


I´d love to hear women´s views on this to give some encouragement to our men. teddybear

Of course, men are also welcome! cool

Comments (119)

Ok SW...thanks for the clarification. wave
Hello 1to1..hug

Thanks for your valuable contribution here.
I know in your situation you could get emotional at times...who wouldn't.

But...as you say...tears of frustration or depression maybe are better than those of anger and rage.dunno

On the other hand ...having some outbursts of Anger at times is also good to purge the system instead of keeping them inside.

Remember that our emotions affect our organs?
Anger affects.... our liver. .
Fear affects...our kidneys ..
Etc .
Hi BC/Jenny...wave

Yes...it does the same to me !
I mean listening to such music also touches my soul and gives me goose pimples...

But also seeing men in tears it's nice to see that it touches them too.
Thanks Jim...there's no shame in that at all! peace
Thanks.
Hi Palm wave

As you say "in the right context" it's ok. thumbs up
Thank you dear.
Hi Keepers wave

Yes..of course. If men showed a bit more care and compassion a few tears don't matter do they?
It's all part of being human.thumbs up
Lee. I see you've come back to show respect to Johnny...ummm..
How about showing some respect to the OP?

Or maybe you don't respect women...is that your problem?

If you want to discuss this topic with other members here could you do this on your own blog.
Thanks .

Any of your comments from now on will be deleted. Is that clear?
Hello Johnny wave I was expecting you here as I wrote this blog in answer to your question...

Ok, I shall have to break it in parts so I can answer each one separately.

First, regarding women carrying guns? Since you and Lee seem to have the same opinion... here is mine:
In a civilised society, it should be the norm for everybody NOT to be carrying a gun.
When it becomes necessary, it is a sure sign that society is collapsing!

Remember that a woman´s place being in the kitchen, there are plenty of weapons (knives!) there!
It doesn´t have to be a gun! dunno


Now, as for men showing their emotions, all the women´s comments here are valid and they have given you the answers you requested.

However, everybody should be themselves, and not allow society to dictate how they behave emotionally, their religious beliefs, politics etc.


As an additional comment Johnny, it would appear that you and Lee are putting ALL - or women - or the majority of them - in the same category and using the argument about fire arms to enforce this thought. uh oh grin

As you know yourself, how many times have I defended men on my blogs and others?
And now, ironically, I am being "attacked" by someone who doesn´t know me from Adam and who doesn´t even show any respect to the OP after having been told to leave.grin

But, knowing my nature Johnny, would you see me shooting at someone who doesn´t agree with me? I HATE guns or any weapons and I hate wars, rows and any form of aggression.angel
To answer your other comments Johnny...
As you say, this topic is a lot more complex than it appears.

"Socially understood....lets remember, men are encouraged to be strong by....well, it starts with their family. Then, it follows by outside influences such as their other male friends (because they have been encouraged to be strong by their upbringing..in most cases)."

I agree with this and... if you remember my blog about men and "the evolution of men", (a few months ago), I already covered this point.
I often defend men and, by doing so, I am usually bashed about by some women, and usually vice versa.

I never boast about myself, I am not in any feminist movement and I am not saying that women are "little angels" - on the contrary!
But, both men and women have their good and bad points and they need each other for different reasons. They complement each other - Yin and Yang..


"Let me ask you a question, we men are convinced that women want a bad boy. I just read in a blog somewhere, women into their 30's should be over their 'bad boy' phase by then. That statement, if there is any truth to it, is in and of itself admittance to women being attracted to bad boys (I would also add...for the most part, during their fertile days). My question is, when is the last time you can recall a bad boy breaking down emotionally? Or, is that the goal of some women....to break down their man emotionally and once achieved, its time to look for a new "man?"

Johnny, I can´t really answer that one. Maybe, subconsciously, women like some kind of "bad boy"? Someone who is exciting?
Same as men like "bad" girls, to some extent?.


"As far as I know, women are looking for masculine men....their own wired biology dictates that. As soon as a man in their life looses their masculinity, the woman is out looking for another "man."

Although I agree that most women want a masculine man - a man who´s got "cojones" - and so do I! (please refer to that blog - I posted the link here in one of my comments). However..... emotions are also part of it.
Why can´t a man be strong and, at the same time, shed a few tears when he feels touched by something or he wants to release some pent up emotions? Those will end up making you ILL!!!


Hope I have more or less answered your questions and your doubts Johnny?
Maybe, yes, you should write a blog about "what do women want exactly" and only let women answer it?



As for Lee... he´s good at commenting and attacking other members on their OWN blogs, but he disallow comments on his own blog!! scold
I believe a guy who is rude & ignorant not up front is an emotional weakness in itself.

.
Hi Mercedes wave

I was about to say that! Especially those who are faceless and are hiding behind a keyboard because they haven´t got the balls to show their face. wink

I wonder if those can actually look at a woman in the eyes and say the same thing? hmmm
I was going to comment about your hair? Did you happen to read my blog "Hair raising subject"?
You might find it interesting?
Please have a look and get back to me - if you like? wave
Lukeon
I don't play Cricket. Those guys know how to cry once they get caught out with cheating.laugh
Daniela I will have a look at your hair thing if I can find it love I get lost up here wave
I can't find your blog about hair.
Deedee123x
Hi daniela.

I like when a Man can show his emotions...thats why he was given them....to use them.

But in saying that one who over uses them is not entirely attractive to me....nor is a friend who over uses any emotion either...over use or overly heightened emotions im very uncomfortable with.
Hello Dee... where have you been? wow

There´s always a happy medium with everything. Excessive display of emotions - whether good or bad - it´s not always ideal is it? - in men and women!

For example: I have a woman friend who has what is called "excessive enthusiasm"- meaning she just can´t control herself when she´s happy about something, overjoyed, she jumps up and down in public like a little school girl, driving me nuts!
Same with texting, when she is sharing some good news, she would use an abundance of emoticons - one after the other.... which also drives me nuts at times.
Also with giving excessive compliments which is more flattery and doesn´t sound sincere to me.


Emotions, when used in moderation are always nice to see in people, when sincere and appropriate, showing some care and compassion.

Thanks for you comments Dee and nice to see you back here. bouquet The flowers are meant in all sincerity.
Hello Daniela,

As I read through your response, I will address or answer any comments that stand out to me. First of all, I personally do not think a woman's place is in the kitchen. I know why you say that and through the years it has been commonly thought as to that way. I enjoy the kitchen very much myself...and don't mind going to a restaurant once in awhile. I believe in having a person exercise their own free will. If she wants to be there, than she chooses to be there. Otherwise, 50/50 sharing responsibilities work with me.

Also, regarding the whole woman and gun thing....to be fair, if I were a woman, I would not want to date a guy who carries a gun also. Unless of course, the environment we were currently living in made it necessary to carry one for survival. (meaning outright chaos or war)

In addition, I do apologize to you for provoking a comment out of Lee on your blog...also, I do apologize to Lee as well.

Okay...going to read on with your responses.



wave
Hi Luke... I believe you are a caring man and also show emotions, when appropriate. wink
Daniela,

The consensus I am getting from the women who have commented is that it is okay and healthy for a man to express his emotions. However, expressing them too much might be an issue. Who determines over showing of emotions is too much? Of course that is subjective and dependent on the person in the relationship. Is it then, that a man also should be a mind reader or psychic when it comes to displaying his emotions to be careful as to not over do it? We are all well aware of the fact that the hormonal chemical make up of a woman is different than a man. What happens if she is having a particularly bad day and her tolerance level might be a little lower than normal.....and once what was fine for a man to emotionally display one day, might not be fine the next?

or....

Does that not ever happen?

dunno
Hi again Johnny.. wave

The kitchen thing was only meant as a joke! As you see in movies, when a woman is in the kitchen she´s always seen cutting or chopping up and being surrounded with huge knives - which I don´t have btw.
Also, if she´s in a defence mode, she also tends to wave her knife about.laugh

So, it can also be used as a weapon for defence - and often is!


Of course, I wouldn´t like to be with a man who carries a gun, or any kind of weapon.
But..... in Europe it´s illegal anyway.


About Lee... don´t worry, no need to apologise. peace
Daniela,

I am not sure what category Lee is putting the majority of women in.

But, as for me....here is where I am coming from....

It is very well know that many women (not all), make decisions based off of their gut feelings...hence on an intuitive level, or one could consider that an emotional level. Emotions invoke chemicals, which can be felt by the body....which, I believe, can therefore explain "gut feelings"....I think anyway.

That is why I stated what I stated.
Obviously Johnny, how much is too much depends on each individual, circumstances and who they are with.
What´s acceptable to one might not be to another? dunno

I like also most comments made by the women here - which are also my thoughts on this topic.

If you read my last comment to Deedee, I have explained more or less my own opinion, based on my own personal experiences.
Deedee123x
Hey Daniela.

As always great blog...i follow you and a few others the most.

I agree too much of anything is just that.....too much.
I have a friend who feels her own emotions at an extreme level...but shes a good person and honest to a fault which i admire.

Ive been busy keeping good company with a really good Man...so long may it continue.
Had battled with deleting my account totally..but i do learn alot here and have some friends here that i want to see do well and keep in touch with.

Hope you and your horses are doing well and ill return the bouquet
Regarding intuitions and gut feeling is an interesting subject Johnny thumbs up

True, women tend to listen to their "gut feelings", which are found in the second chakra (navel) where our emotions are accumulated.
However, carrying all those emotions in that chakra is NOT good as it will eventually lead to some serious organ problems - bladder, liver, kidneys, stomach ...

Now, we want to move away from those lower chakras (1, 2 and 3) as this is how we grew up (survival instincts).

We, humanity, are aiming at raising our consciousness level to the upper chakras - heart and 3rd eye - which is where love (unconditional) and intuitions come from.

As for men... they slowly getting there.... there´s still hope..
This is why it´s up to us, women, to guide them and show them the way.


I wrote this blog Johnny, following your question on a previous blog.
As you know, I look at things from a spiritual perspective and do not waste my time and energy with people who are still working on a survival mode.
I can give advice and guidance, yes, to those who ask, but refuse to get into fights with people who are on different wavelengths.

Guns, weapons, wars are certainly not in my vocabulary - nor in my energy field.
I work from the heart, with the right hand brain most of the time. heart beating

And my friends - the ones I call my "real" friends, are also operating on the same wavelengths - and the men don´t mind showing their feelings.. love.. sadness.. etc.
They are not ashamed!

And I try to enlighten as many men as possible to show them the same.
Okay, I have read your comment to DD Daniela.

I suppose with everything being said here, it comes down to two people being with each other long enough to recognize their partner's or potential partner's personality. Is it something they find attractive or they can tolerate. People should be who they are. But let it be known, as your blog has done so well in doing, that it is okay for men to display their emotions in front of women. Just the right amount is endearing, while overdoing it, is a turnoff.

That is what I got from everything here. conversing
Hi again Dee.. wave

I appreciate you reading my blogs and "following" but, please, do not get too excited about it. wink

I am pleased to hear that you have found someone - is He the One? wink
But I won´t get over excited either - no jumping up and down!
Or maybe I will when you announce your engagement?
....should add, under doing the display of emotions can be a turnoff as well.
You´ve got it right Johnny! thumbs up

You see... you don't have to be a mind reader to be able to understand this text or any woman.
If you are with a nice loving, understanding and caring woman, I´m sure she will let you know and make you feel comfortable?
OMG.. did I just describe myself here? wink

And I´m sure also that the right woman will come along when - only when! - you stop having so many doubts.
Doubts and insecurity are certainly a turn off for anybody!

Doubts and insecurity will only attract the same in your life.
Change it to confidence, understanding, and positive energy about yourself.... and you WILL attract the right person into your life. applause cheering
Deedee123x
Daniela laugh ...ill show the appropriste level of excitment when it comes to your blogs....deal handshake laugh


Well now 'The One' takes some time and some consideration from both parties so ill just say he is a Gent with a big heart..kind...caring and a great cook ....i do hope he feels im putting in as good an effort as he is....

I doubt theres ever gonna be an engagement annoucement...its not my thing...grin

Take care wave
Excellent Daniela. Thank you for taking the time to answer my concerns and questions. I enjoyed your blog.

wave
Dee... you mean to say that your man will be the one in the kitchen handling the knives? wow

Ok Dee... you have my permission to get excited as much as you like on my blogs - as long as you don´t pee your pants girl. laugh

Have a good day. Here´s some sunshine for you... daisy and don't forget the cool
Thanks Johnny. Enjoyed your comments and understanding. teddybear

I can now relax and enjoy the sun on my terrace. Till next time..cool
ashlander
Many American men are defenders.
Along with that responsibility
comes a lifestyle: a professional
licensed gun carrier,trained marksmen
or licensed seasonal hunter.(he will fill a freezer chest with meat.He learns to butcher it in order to save money, and honor full use of the animal).
My dad and his dad were German butchers(sausage makers)*.Not hunters & did not serve in the military. In the U.S you can go to a "meat cutter" trade school.
I only know non-vegans:hunting,fishing,
cooking men-skilled with gun,knife and pole.Men full of testosterone and love.
They've soulful expression,are artistic and are nurturing to children.
Since emotions can be weapons too
they seem as aware of others emotions as they are theirs.They eschew fair play,
honor and protect women and children.
Is that masculinity vs effeminate?
Neither, it is just being decent.
For most that live in less populated,
colder regions it is tradition. Men who
have another skill/trade are honored for
what they contribute.
I do not believe men who are deemed effeminate are always homosexual,
This misconception is gaining ground.
The men around me show their emotions.Most have served in the military.They served there in traditionally female work roles also: secretary,laundry,cook,nurse,etc.
Men have COMPASSION.They deeply love their family and brethren and when necessary fill these roles at home.

I can only say as a single mother that bringing up a son without male family members nearby has been tricky.I had to let the natural man develop from inside him.I saw many of his young friends, male or female with stepparents feel internal confusion about their place-estranged.

I accept men for their life experiences, and try be engaging,mindful,trusting.
We all grow at our own pace.
Mentors come into our lives with
unconditional love,and our partners
and offspring will benefit from it too.

We are all tangled into each other.
One person sometimes can unknot a person who doesn't trust their own
instincts,or who is guarded.It isn't always a woman who can reach a man with that message.Sometimes men
learn nurturing from men.And this is
what has been lacking in the U.S.

It is amazing that the opposite of yourself is not always the solution to the inner struggle.
If a piece of yourself needs retrieving
you might recognize it in someone's
strength regardless of gender.

You are a gift to one another no matter the life lesson,gender or capacity to love.
gift
Wow Ash...what an interesting and valuable comment you wrote here ! wow love

All very true and my way of thinking too.

I don't understand why people have to associate a man with a effeminate side as a homosexual???

It's nice to see men getting creative and being more in touch with the other side of the brain...
And this doesn't stop them from being men!


I hope Johnny reads this ..it would certainly reassure him.

Thanks again for your contribution dear Lady Ash.bouquet
Oh..and I meant to add...
I also understood every word of it...no cryptic clues here! applause
ashlander
Thanks. blushing purple heart
That´s ok Ash!

I want to say thank you to ALL participants on this blog and hope I was able to enlighten some people here - especially MEN!

I know that you cannot please all of the people all of the time but, as long as most were happy, then I am happy too. dancing

I also realise that one particular person has obviously taken it the wrong way and had to write 4 or 5 blogs to express their opinion - disallowing comments!, to make sure they didn´t get opposing views... roll eyes

As I said, on one of my blogs, and also on other´s, people who go on and on to try to get their point across and convince everybody that they are right....
Who are those people trying to convince?..... US?... or THEMSELVES? uh oh

Anyway, I´d like to thank this particular individual for their contributions also, although it wasn´t the objective of this blog.
Obviously, it triggered something in them and they felt the need to vent. peace

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