PART 2 - Men And The Mother Wound

What is a Mother Wound?

A Mother Wound may be thought of as injury to the psyche of a child resulting from significant dysfunction or disruption in relationship with the mother.
It can be the result of a mother’s absence or unavailability due to death, illness, adoption, or other circumstances that dramatically separate the child from the mother. But, more typically, a Mother Wound is a complex of injuries to the child’s psyche received over many years, often as a result of the mother acting - consciously or not - out of her own woundedness.

How are men affected?

Maternal wounding can have multiple effects and consequences that extend deep into the core of a man, rippling outward into all areas of his life and diminishing his ability to own and express his s*xual energy and power in the healthy, creative ways needed to develop and maintain successful long-term love relationships and a working life that is authentic, heartfelt, and meaningful.

An unacknowledged, unresolved Mother Wound can complicate the matter even further for some men. The healthy desire for loving union with a woman in a sexually expressive relationship can easily be short-circuited, eclipsed by a deeply felt but ultimately misguided romantic idealism that opens the door to repeated replays of maternal injury.

A Mother Wound - especially if held or hidden below the level of conscious awareness - can also predispose a man to vulnerability and susceptibility to dark or negative aspects of the feminine, as well as conditioning him into blindness to and acceptance of behaviours from women in his life who express them.
He may even seek out and be attracted to women who embody elements of the shadow side of the feminine without being aware he’s doing it, or understanding why. And he may find it difficult to stop.

An unresolved Mother Wound can also make a man susceptible to feeling and/or being shamed by women for his vulnerability, regardless of their intentions toward him. A well-intentioned woman can often shut down an emotionally vulnerable man by inadvertently activating his Mother Wound without even knowing it, then feel completely mystified as to what happened and why. And the man cannot tell her because he doesn’t know. This has obvious negative implications and consequences for relationships between men and women.

Wounded men often seek out women to heal them, and women can be great helpers and allies, but projecting one’s unmet mothering needs (and related psychic injuries) onto a woman is a recipe for disaster for both the man and the woman.

Why do men avoid their Mother Wounds?

Awareness and acknowledgment of his Mother Wound is typically a huge taboo for a man (as it is for almost any wounding of a male by a female). Most sons have been trained and are expected to be protective of their mother and her feelings at all costs. Fear can be a significant deterrent as well as there is nothing more frightening (or unthinkable) than looking into their own Mother Wounds.

Why is Mother Wound work important?

Mother Wounds that are unacknowledged and unhealed in men don’t just hurt men, but also women and children across the culture.

We simply cannot have an emotionally and psychologically healthy society without emotionally and psychologically healthy men. Men being driven by the emotional and psychological energy of unconscious, unresolved Mother Wounds will continue to suffer, and their suffering will continue to ripple out into their relationships and the culture at large, until their needs are recognized, honoured, and addressed in a meaningful and effective fashion.

NB The above is a part of my own teachings and are some of my notes taken during that time.

Comments (43)

Doing the work

I know there are some men out there who need to do their own Mother Wound work and I hope they’ll find ways to do it. Any man who is consciously, actively working on his Mother Wound deserves support, understanding, and patience.

However, how many are ready to confront it and deal with it?

There are various techniques to help men work on their Mother Wound and I know of one in particular which is very powerful and works at a cellular level, for which I have had some very successful results.
Some girls like to play it dirty, some girls like to be your mum
And what do you prefer Chris? dunno

I certainly don´t want to be anybody´s mother - I already have 3 sons of my own and they left long ago.

Although, I realise, that some were looking for a mother figure in me, at times...scold
Spot on Daniela!!

I could name so many injurious events that occur between Mother/Son.
As a single parent it grieves me how
society let women flounder in the age
of liberation.( U S.) The welfare system.

But spiritually speaking wherever the
cellular level holds the key,for them
either individually or together it is a
step towards both of them healing.
Hello Ash..nice to see you. wave

Yes..working at cellular level is a very powerful healing as it can erase the memories.

Thanks for your comment.bouquet
"It can be the result of a mother’s absence or unavailability due to death, illness, adoption, or other circumstances that dramatically separate the child from the mother. "
I volunteered at a terminal illness children's ward,when my twins were very little.I couldn't bear the thought of their lonely hours and not feeling well.
We played board games and sang.
Did everyday things that they would be doing at home.
Often if sibling had a cold,or parent they could not be there in that quarantined section.It was the most emotionally challenging but rewarding volunteer work.Many here might consider it.purple heart
My children and husband understood that choice and were very supportive if the few evenings I wasn't available at home.
Wow must have been challenging as it would be for me too but I don't think I could do this kind of work.

Working with emotionally
traumatised and physically abused animals is bad enough for me. doh

But...someone has to do this work don't they?dunno
I can relate to this.
Hi Daniela,

The solution is to get rid of the parents as soon as possible. Some spiritual teachers are saying that only when they both are dead an adult becomes truly free and may be himslef.

Some strong and independent personalities may be free from their parents sooner but .....

Living success and failure and accepting those together make people stronger and independent. Is part of the healing.

Being in a family where the people are "loving" and accepting you because of your family is a important point and help to develope selesteem. Sometimes ones selfesteem becomes arogance.

When a complete stranger, a person, not from your family or friend circle, shows you complete acceptance, then you understand that every person has his place under the sun. Then you may feel that you are loved, not because you are part of a family, but because of yourself. Because you live. Then mother, father, brother, or sister, they become irelevant for your growth..... and life. You will se that your life is yours and is beautiful.
Hi Miwagi..wave

Maybe you care to elaborate?
Hi Swami..Gutten Tag!wave

Where did you learn this? Was it in India?

And how do you suggest they get rid of the parents?confused's immaterial whether they are alive or dead as our parents wounds still they are in our DNA?
Wounded men often seek out women to heal them, and women can be great helpers and allies, but projecting one’s unmet mothering needs (and related psychic injuries) onto a woman is a recipe for disaster for both the man and the woman.
A Wendy the Woman/mother to Peter Pan, who treats her differently to the "Girls" (Tiger Lily and Tinkerbell).wink

You may not be familiar with this singer or the interviewer but the clip was covering so many aspects of emotion that your blog topics have recently addressed:
Thanks Ash for the videos .
Yes...I can see it being relevant to my emotional blog and the comments about men showing..or not showing emotions.

Thank you.bouquet
cswelcome <<back party balloons

yessssssssssssssssssssss xxxxx
cswelcome Welcome back Daniela,
Fantastic Blog Daniela
The fact that it can be cured at cellular level is just incredible.
I will have to read it again, slowly. ~ I am here for a while, Everything is breaking , usually a sign of an
energy shift, kettle, you name it and this laptop keeps freezing.

Have you done the Mother wound with women, now that would be very interesting.

message from Daniela;
Have just checked because I saw one of my blogs had been commented on but...
Nope...I still cannot post comments!!! frustrated sigh

I saw GG has just asked a comment if I can do the Mother Wound on women??
Usually...on women it's the Father Wound we deal first with as it will affect our relationships with men.

But...of course ...we can work on mother and father issues for both genders.

Thanks for the welcome back.
Can you please write that I AM NOT back? ............................ (Goldie, that last bit was for you xxxx)
On school run now so c yas later xxx
rose rose rose rose rose rose MESSAGE FROM DANIELA

Come back soon Daniela wave
Miss your blogs!! hug
Hello Canuk... Have we met? wave

Thanks for being here and having enjoyed my blogs. bouquet
Hello Cerva & Goldie wave wave
For your info, I was never banned, nor had left the site.... only "suspended".
Thanks for your concern. teddybear

Anyway, I am now back and can answer any questions about the above topic. writing
Following GG´s comment and question whether women can work on their mother wound?
Yes, of course, it applies for both genders.

However, my next topic was going to be about the Father Wound for Women, because if women haven´t healed their Father Wound, they will continue having relationship issues with men over and over again - just like Men, with women.

For a woman, her first relationship with a man is her father....
and for the man his mother is his first encounter with women.

Both have to be healed in order to have successful relationships with the opposite sex.

As for Women, having mother issues is not uncommon, but not the same healing is required.
Daniella ~ I just read your blog again, taking it in slowly. My last major relationship, there were huge wounds there now. I think that it is summed up in your blog by the words 'Romantic idealism' I think that sums up where a lot of the problems lay. He was a good man, but a damaged man, and I made allowances for his lack of self awareness but he did not want to look at the issue.

OOPSblushing Daniela with one L.
Hello again Goldie wave

Until a woman has healed her Father Wound and her relationship with her father, she will attract men in her life who will reflect those issues.

For example, I know a man (in his 60s) who didn´t realise he still had unfinished issues with his mother and was therefore attracting a certain type of woman in his life.

Furthermore, he also had issues with his daughter - or rather, she had issues with him! - to the point where she had 3 failed partnerships and was also passing it on to her own daughters.

What was the answer to this, you may ask?
I told him that SHE had to heal her own ´Father Wound which, in this case was abandonment issue, and HE, himself, had to heal his Mother Wound.

If we don´t, we pass it on to the next generation and those after that, just like a disease or an addiction and repeated patterns.
Another thought: if we, women, haven´t healed our Father Wound, we´ll probably attract a lot of "damaged" men in our life but, this doesn't mean that we have to play the role of "Rescuer".
Until the man has healed his issues, or at least, is aware of them, there´s nothing you can do about it.
Daniela, thank you for that blog, so informative and sparked so much interesting comment. It highlighted a gap in my knowledge which needed to be filled. Thank you.
Hi Daniela.

Very good blog.
Will you be expanding on how to heal the wounds of Father/Daughter and Mpther/Son relationships.
Its something that i think most can relate to and i find it interesting as its not sometjing you see people discuss everyday.

Hope all is well bouquet
My older brother ran away from home when he was 11 and never came back. I wonder today whether that's part of the reason none of his relationships last longer than a few months, women seem to hit a wall with him and lose interest. And my friend James' mum died of cancer when he was small and apart from a few old slappers he had no real relationships with women until he was 30.
But what I would say is that these mother wounds seem to be a real boon to the economy. Both have very practical and unfashionable jobs very much dedicated to the idea that life isn't for living, but working.
Salut Cest..I'm glad I was able to fill in some gaps for you. applause

Any questions ?
Hello Dee...Why the change of name?? wow

I'm glad you found this blog informative.

Yes...many people can relate to this as we ALL suffered from those wounds.

No I won't be explaining here on a blog because it's rather complex ..but all I can say is that I use very powerful techniques..working at a cellular level.

There are of course various techniques...
I.e. regressing to a specific childhood and erasing the memories and imprints..
Sometimes even before birth..or conception..using also a re-birth process..

There's also a very good technique called "time line shifting" and NLP which is reprogramming the mind etc..
Dee..just an added thought...

FORGIVENESS is also used as part of the work.
Hello Chris...
Sorry to hear about your brother!
Obviously he has to work on the Mother Wound...and also do some Father work..

As for your friend whose mother died when young...he probably has "abandonment " issue...even if he's not aware of it?
And...consequently ....he's projecting this onto women in his life and is afraid that they will leave him ?
In which case he might leave them or push them away before they do?

I suggest that he cut the emotional tie???
There is a very effective method to do this and is done in a loving way.
Hi Dan.
I changed the name for a fresh start and to also not be so 'findable' for someone who seems to follow me around dating sites.
Dont mean to sound dramatic...but hoping he wont find me here as its the next logical place to look..will have to take down my photo for a while too....

Onto more important things, its a pity u cant post here...but it sounds very interesting...the fact that the work you do can erase traumatic childhood memories is something i would be interested in too....dont we all have em!!!

Is this a popular practise Daniela?

Ive heard of NLP before would u think its related or pretty much the same as CBT..Cognitive Behavioural Therapy?
To your first comment D...with a picture like this you're bound to be found. thinks? dunno

Yeah...a fresh start is always good! thumbs up
D...I don't know about CBT..
But NLP doesn't really go to the core of the issue.
It is used mainly for addictions..or phobias etc..

The Father/Mother wound has to be done in person as it is using some kinesiology and arm testing techniques...combined with some spiritual work. (I use shamanic techniques).

You'll just have to come and spend a few days here Dee.wink

Some work I also do at distance via Skype..when possible..depending what it is.
Very interesting.
I would assume we all have some Mother/Father issues in us....anything that can erase past issues is always worth a look at even if , as you say, one might not be aware they have any.

Ill just have to come over there Daniela yes grin

Anything to help heal is worth its weight in gold.

The forgiveness thing is always ok with me when i have to forgive someone....its forgiving myself is something i struggle with.
Alex7: "Thank You ! "(meet us in the ecards)

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