Hopefully some will have a sense of humor !!

The boys may appreciate it hopefully the girls will find the humor as well.


Subject: FUN AND INJURY AT VFW

I was standing at the bar at the VFW one night minding my own business.
This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said,
"You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?" I said, "Yeah, you gotta
pen?"
She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".
I said, "You better get back in it
before the farmer misses you."

Cost me 6 stitches…but,
When you’re seventy nine..............who cares?
**********
I went to the drug store and told the clerk "Give me 3 packets of
condoms, please."
Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”; I said "Nah...
She's pretty good lookin'....."

When you’re seventy nine..............who cares?
***********
I was talking to a young woman in the VFW last night. She said, "If
you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look
all right.”; I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”;

Cost me a fat lip, but...
When you’re seventy nine..............who cares?
**********
I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a
woman was born just by feeling her breasts. "Really" she said, "Go on
then... try." After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to
lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?" I said,
"Yesterday."

Cost me a kick in the nuts, but...
When you’re seventy nine...............who cares?
*********
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today. The lifeguard
shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.

When you’re seventy nine...............who cares?
**********
I went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table..I
said, "Good legs." The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think
so?" I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

Cost me 6 more stitches, but...
When you’re seventy nine..............who cares?

"Count your life by smiles, not tears, count your age by friends, not
years, and remember we do not quit playing because we grow old.... we
grow old because we quit playing"