The Original Snub

THE MYTH OF THE APPLE OF DISCORD
It seems that Zeus was preparing a wedding banquet for Peleus and
Thetis and did not want to invite Eris because of Her reputation as a
trouble maker.*
This made Eris angry, and so She fashioned an apple of pure gold**
and inscribed upon it KALLISTI ("To The Prettiest One") and on the day of
the fete She rolled it into the banquet hall and then left to be alone and
joyously partake of a hot dog.
Now, three of the invited goddesses,*** Athena, Hera, and Aphrodite,
each immediately claimed it to belong to herself because of the inscription.
And they started fighting, and they started throwing punch all over the
place and everything.
Finally Zeus calmed things down and declared that an arbitrator must
be selected, which was a reasonable suggestion, and all agreed. He sent them
to a shepherd of Troy, whose name was Paris because his mother had had a lot
of gaul and had married a Frenchman; but each of the sneaky goddesses tried
to outwit the others by going early and offering a bribe to Paris.
Athena offered him Heroic War Victories, Hera offered him Great
Wealth, and Aphrodite offered him the Most Beautiful Woman on Earth. Being a
healthy young Trojan lad, Paris promptly accepted Aphrodite's bribe and she
got the apple and he got screwed.
As she had promised, she maneuvered earthly happenings so that Paris
could have Helen (The Helen) then living with her husband Menelaus,King of
Sparta. Anyway, everyone knows that the Trojan War followed when Sparta
demanded their Queen back and that the Trojan War is said to be The First
War among men.
And so we suffer because of the Original Snub. And so a Discordian
is to partake of No Hot Dog Buns.
…and this is the why… jaws ….died for our sins.