The Latest Trump Scandal ?
In response to: Satire from The Borowitz Report
Public Demands Investigation of Why F.B.I. Infiltrators in Trump Campaign Failed to Prevent Him from Being Elected
By Andy Borowitz
10:19 A.M.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Millions of Americans are demanding an investigation into why, if F.B.I. operatives
managed to infiltrate the 2016 Trump campaign, they utterly failed to prevent a nightmarish despot from being elected.
In interviews across the country, Americans expressed dismay and, in some cases, despair at the news that F.B.I. infiltrators
might have had a golden opportunity to prevent the nation’s current unspeakable nightmare from unfolding but did not get the job done.
“The thought of F.B.I. infiltrators being inside the Trump campaign but not sabotaging it is, in a word, devastating,”
Carol Foyler, of Akron, Ohio, said. “If it turns out to be true, I will totally lose my faith in F.B.I. infiltrators.”
Harland Dorrinson, of St. Petersburg, Florida, agreed. “If F.B.I. infiltrators were in a position to derail the most heinous threat to democracy
in American history but didn’t succeed for some reason, that would be bigger than Watergate,” he said.
Tracy Klugian, of Denver, Colorado, said that a “full and exhaustive investigation” is needed to “determine why
our system of F.B.I. infiltrators preventing a horrific proto-fascist menace from taking office somehow broke down.”
“We need to find out what went wrong and fix it before the 2020 election,” he said. “I won’t be able to sleep at night
until I know that F.B.I. operatives are infiltrating Trump’s reëlection campaign and irreparably crippling it.”
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,”
and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com
Public Demands Investigation of Why F.B.I. Infiltrators in Trump Campaign Failed to Prevent Him from Being Elected
By Andy Borowitz
10:19 A.M.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Millions of Americans are demanding an investigation into why, if F.B.I. operatives
managed to infiltrate the 2016 Trump campaign, they utterly failed to prevent a nightmarish despot from being elected.
In interviews across the country, Americans expressed dismay and, in some cases, despair at the news that F.B.I. infiltrators
might have had a golden opportunity to prevent the nation’s current unspeakable nightmare from unfolding but did not get the job done.
“The thought of F.B.I. infiltrators being inside the Trump campaign but not sabotaging it is, in a word, devastating,”
Carol Foyler, of Akron, Ohio, said. “If it turns out to be true, I will totally lose my faith in F.B.I. infiltrators.”
Harland Dorrinson, of St. Petersburg, Florida, agreed. “If F.B.I. infiltrators were in a position to derail the most heinous threat to democracy
in American history but didn’t succeed for some reason, that would be bigger than Watergate,” he said.
Tracy Klugian, of Denver, Colorado, said that a “full and exhaustive investigation” is needed to “determine why
our system of F.B.I. infiltrators preventing a horrific proto-fascist menace from taking office somehow broke down.”
“We need to find out what went wrong and fix it before the 2020 election,” he said. “I won’t be able to sleep at night
until I know that F.B.I. operatives are infiltrating Trump’s reëlection campaign and irreparably crippling it.”
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,”
and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com
One does ponder whether the mantra that ANYONE can be elected president,
is stringent enough of a criteria.
Passing a mental sanity test, a polygraph test, and a criminal record search should all be minimal.
Clearly none were done before the last US presidential election.
Comments (3)
Excellent, nastics
Absolutely!
What will REALLY Make Murka Great Again?!
COMPETENT FBI INFILTRATORS!!
President Donald Trump announced that he reached a continuing resolution deal with Congress to reopen the U.S. government Dow gains for fifth straight week after deal reached to temporarily reopen government: Trump is winning why resign when you got everything working for the Country!!!