Was I cruel or Sensible ?

Today I am feeling low in myself and sad. Briefly [as I can]. My friend of 50 years has been a rampant alcoholic for the past 20 plus years. She acquired a little Pomeranian about 7 years ago. She got it from Dogs Trust. It was a gorgeous little fella, very well trained. House trained, had good manners did not try and eat the food from your plate etc.
My friend being alcholic, did not bother to let the dog out to do it's abolutions. So, the poor dog started going in the Bathroom and on the carpet.

I was furious at the time, but I was trying to speak sense to a drunk woman. I spent a lot of time bringing down food and treats and bringing said dog for walks. It is an hours walk from where I live.
She smokes one ciggie off another and in general is lazy and I often had to bring the dog to the vet with various ailments. She used to depend on me to buy the Worm/Flea medications.

She is now in Hospital with Dementia. In good faith, I took the dog from her brother. Yesterday.
Not a great time when I have 2 more biopsies ahead of me but I decided to go ahead as the dog had been left alone in a house, with dried food and stale water. The thoughts of that made my stomach churn.

He arrived last evening at 4pm. He was distressed and had been indoors with no social company or any type of a walk or run. I took it for a 45min walk through a tiny park and it was like it had never seen a bird or a tree. It really did enjoy itself. My reason was also to relax the dog and tire it out.

I fed the Dog 'Basil' the best of food, it had been living on cheap dried food I also gave it fresh chicken. It scoffed the lot. About an hour later I let it out in the back. It went to the loo and marked a few trees.

Fast forward ~ last night it barked and barked to get in to my bedroom. I relented because it was scratching the door down and slept with it's previous owner. It was infested with fleas, [did not realise] and scratched until the legs bled. It barked at any noise all night, kept at me for affection.

5.am this morning, with no sleep, I let the dog out to pee. The dog did so, but while I was having a cup of tea, it cheerfully did a turd on my Duvet cover, wiped it with it's paws in to the duvet. Pee d on my Pillow and the cover [it's a memory foam expensive one ] plus on the carpet it pee d several times, and also did 3 other turds. This morning it kept scratching at my midriff for attention and that's where my operation scar is. It looked at me and pee d again in the livingroom. The Cottage is tiny, and yes, wooden floors are needed in livingroom but not because a dog is using it to pee and poop.

I was totally stressed out. I knew the dog is too old, I feel it has been abused for too long. How many times have I considered calling Dogs Trust to take it back ? Anyway I phoned her brother who cleverly bullied me in to taking it. My gut feelings were telling me no, and my heart felt so sorry for this poor creature. My friend will be in hospital for months. the Duvet, I could not use again, or pillow.
So, Dog has been returned. I felt a sigh of relief but cried. as I felt a failure. I have always been great with animals. I just could not hack this.

Animal lovers will hate me for this but try and remember I am getting over an operation and have other issues going on biopsies etc., and not feeling the best. However had the dog been anyway socialised I would have kept it and given it a good home.

crying

Comments (72)

Nahhh, i doubt it....laugh wave
Think like a Pom who's been hanging out in a pub.. you sent it to rehab.
Tough Love.


Luke,Nah!
Ditto.
(Just like Ozzy and Sharon Osborne's
Lil Pomeranians.The entire TV series they shat indoors).SHAAAARRRON!laugh
I don't see either GG. Meaning cruelty or sensibility. Just practical. You're not feeling too well and so is the dog. I think what you did is plain and simple and right.wave
I think one you'll feel better.comfort
On the other hand GG,prayers for your friend's caregivers as she is in decline and may/ may not adjust to the new lifestyle.
sad flower
Elegsabiff
It can be incredibly hard to take in and retrain a dog with bad habits - I took a full-grown staffie from a rescue centre which had to be housebroken and veered between over-exuberant affection and cowering in a flat panic. She was eventually great but I didn't have medical issues of my own to contend with at the time.

You were sensible.
dimplesimple
hello miss ........golden glosshandshake

i think ..you are sensible......at the movement as i have been reading about you..for little time here

you need to see yourself first......and...maybe later on ...you can take a chance with that doggie

i am a really a fan of you.............

hug teddybear
SweetnFunnyChic
Don't feel bad, you're human. For the record we took in animals too and they were sick also, did not last. The ones that did drove us crazy with the noise and peeing everywhere we had to give them away.
GG For sure you were not cruel of uncaring.
You did your best and really have nothing to feel bad about.
Hopefully someone else can retrain this little guy..............wave
goldengloss
Thanks everyone who replied. ~ I know this little fella is old [hence as Biff rightly said, he is really untrainable] . when I say I live in a tiny Cottage, I mean tiny, therefore, a dirty dog would be worse than, say a large house. It has gone back to a house living alone, with the brother calling in a few times a week. It will be fed and watered until my friend comes back.

She has a cleaner who calls twice weekly and cleans up the poo. When you are drinking heavily, you don't notice this kind of thing. When you live in a tiny Cottage, you step in the stuff !uh oh

I'm not housewife of the year. Not neurotic about everything being really clean and tidy as there are paintings around the place, paints. This dog was clearly damaged and I did not realise how much until it was in my home. It has not had any mental stimulation, walks, or play for a few years now and for the past 2 years, never gets out for a walk unless I walk it.

She will come home with a home help. But I did feel that opening the door and letting the dog out an hour after eating, would train it. Thanks alot everyone for your help.bouquet
GG I hope you can be in comfort soon.
This seems too stressful.
All my love.hug bouquet
goldengloss
Dimplesimple ~ thanks for nice message. I have worked with abused animals so I thought I could manage.
When a dog goes to the loo on your best pillows and Duvet, and carpets, and has been doing things like that and getting away with it, it is unlikely to change for a long time.

The dog was happy but also stressed at the change of house. wave
goldengloss
Lukeon ~ Thanks.
Ashlander ~ i used to watch that programme with Ollie Osborne and the Dogs and Cats it was crazy ,of course the dogs were allowed to run rough shod over the house and do as they pleased and without boundaries they were little demons.

I never really enjoyed that show. Thanks for pic.hug
goldengloss
BC Thanks wave You are down to earth and sensible as usual, that is the Dutch in you. Thanks for making me see sense. I went to vote here today and then went for a long walk to try and clear my head, I hate myself as I worked with many abandoned animals but this guy has huge probs.

Thanks a lot.
goldengloss
Sweetfunnychic ~ I think in a situation like you had, it is best to give the Dogs back to the sanctuary or organisation where you got them. They should do work on them to socialise and train them so that they are house trained, and just need a loving home.
thanks alot for replying.daisy
goldengloss
Biff ~ Having worked in animal rescue makes me feel guilty. Staffies get such a raw deal in life, used for dog fighting and along with Greyhounds, whippets, they seem to get a very raw deal.
You did the best you could. I think we know instinctively when there is a huge problem there and some animals live out their lives in the shelter as they are 'unhomeable'
Take care, glad things going well in Spain.cool
Trying to reason with a alcoholic would be like trying to reason with a rattle snake.

My late stepdad was a alcoholic and he very hard to reason with.
Keepers
I'm tired so will read other blogs tomorrow. But I had to comment on your blog. hug You can only do the best that you've already done over the years. You can't save the world. Tis hard to see pain, but it doesn't help you. When is your next op? Will check tomorrow. Need to get off this chair otherwise my arse will go flat. laugh peace teddybear
goldengloss
Lindsay ~ wave Hi and thanks a lot. I know you are down to earth. I suppose i ache thinking of that dog in that house again alone, and unloved. However, the family and brother can afford to put it into kennels until my friend comes home with her nurse, or to pay to have it re-trained.

I did say to her brother today, that I felt 'Basil' would be better being brought back to Dogs Trust as they are very good at training and spend a lot of time walking and caring for the dogs.
SlainteMhaithx
GG i have a much harder time giving up on animals than i do humans...so i feel your pain in this i really do.

hug
goldengloss
Slainte ~ It's just that dog asked for so little, and got even less in return. However the life he had to endure, living with drunks, a lovely woman, my friend for so many years, who loves the bottle more than anything, and the cigarette smoke is so bad, ou have to wash you clothes.
Seeing the dog go unoticed, unloved, Not actually badly treated as in hit. But neglected terribly.

I do feel so much for animals. And I am sad too say, often more than humans. This little guy was really bad though. I could not deal with the poor fella.

I will bide my time and pay a visit to Dogs Trust to see can they visit my friend and give her a warning and maybe re-train the dog.... I just feel so bad for him. Going back to a prison.Thanks alot Slainte.hug
goldengloss
Bearwoman~ Alcoholism is rife in my family, on both sides. My father was one. He did not rear me but he was also a gambler. Highly intelligent, a womaniser and no use trying to get these people to go to A.A.

My friend was beautiful, dark and gorgeous, she had it all. She would just stare blankly when I would lecture her over the way she treated the dog.
I guess the Dog needs a new home but it is hard to home old dogs. Thanks Bear.wave Sorry you had to deal with Alcoholism, it is so toxic and affects the whole family.
goldengloss
Keepers ~ Get off these blogs and rest. Thanks for replying.daisy
GG, old dogs are not trainable, I think.

You love animals I know but you need to take care of yourself first.

I feel sorry for your friend. Uou did the right thing.bouquet
goldengloss
Lindsy ~ I know we have to take care of ourselves first. Today I was very stressed, only natural. I had to phone the brother who had subtly bullied [I allowed him to subtly bully me, my fault] into taking the dog. I had said he was not house trained anymore but he sort of insinuated that he was ok.

Regardless, emotions can't take over logic and that's what happened yesterday, with no help to that dog.
I feel bad for that and it is my fault. But I tried. Thanks alot Lindsy. I appreciate your support. daisy
You are to be commended for putting the animal above your own needs first. It's sad that the dog is in such a horrible situation, and has developed such bad habits, but you've done the right thing for you, at this time. Your healing and well-being needs to take precedence and unfortunately, we can't save every animal. Your heart is in the right place, so don't beat yourself up about not being able to handle this dog at this time.

Your own well-being is first and foremost at this time. hug
Bag, bricks and a river, mum´s the wordwink
goldengloss
Imp ~ wave Good to see you. Thanks for reply. I am trying to keep the Dogs situation out of my head.
That is for self- preservation. When I get my head together, I will contact the organisation to pay this
woman a visit as this dog has a horrible existence. No affection, walks, fun, creative playing, stimulation of any sort. Would be hungry but for a neighbour friend of mine nearby.

As already written, her brother has taken it back, and left it alone in an empty house, [as it has been for a week now], this could go on for weeks. It is left dried food, checked in on every 4 days, so can't you imagine the absolute squalor and smell ! and the poor dog waiting for it's owner. I can't think about it.

It is important to get my own issues sorted and if this had not happened, It would have worked well. The dog likes me, but is old now, and hard to train, it also seems quite depressed and anxious [no wonder].

Many thanks Imp for your down to earth advise and I don't feel such a horrible human being.
I genuinely did today. sad flower
Hi GG, I know you and I believe you always do the right thing you are a good person with a big heart. hug
goldengloss
Bnaughty, I'll get the bricks a very large bag and if needs be, get somebody to help throw you in the river.
Would you like a song played as we lower you down? banana Cry me a river?
goldengloss
Wenever ~ Good to see you back again, missed you around. Thanks for your belief in me. I do love animals, sometimes more than humans hug
Hello GG,hug I figure you were neither cruel, or sensible, you were caring. And caring trumps over cruel, or sensible. Try and imagine what was going thru that little pooches mind, with a new home, new person in charge, new food.... He was, in his own little way , more worried than you, wondering about all the changes, and what he did to deserve them.confused I myself figure you were both in a little state of shock wow
That was a learning experience for the both of you.
As I´m lowered into the river I´d like this song to be played, goodbye everyone!
dimplesimple
Bnaughty, I'll get the bricks a very large bag and if needs be, get somebody to help throw you in the river.
Would you like a song played as we lower you down? Cry me a river? thumbs up giggle
SlainteMhaithx
Its awful because dogs, as you say, ask for so little but give so much.

I hope there will be a happy outcome for him and even though you tried to keep him..its even better to know your still keeping an eye on his well being even from a distance....he needs someone like that.

If i could id nearly drive up n take him myself but we have too many here as is.

hug
KNenagh
Sorry to hear about that GG, but look after yourself at the moment. hug

Some people shouldn't have a dog (or a kid). sigh
GG,

Take care of yourself. You already have a lot on your plate!hug
goldengloss
KNenagh wave Hi K, Good to see you. Yes, imagine it still has the Dogs Trust collar and lead that it was given 7 years ago. It never really got a good deal as my friend [who changed drastically as alcoholism drew here in to its web and she literally started to drown mentally in it ] she began hanging out with other Drinkers so the Dog was not a priority.
Only for me, the dog would be drinking stale water, stale dried food. It was never walked. Awful !
It loved to play games and I would play but my friend would never be interested in doing that.

I was so angry sometimes. I did plead with her brother to give it back to Dogs Trust and pretend it died as
it will be better for the poor mite, he is old now and Dogs Trust would at least keep it, feed it and walk it.
Thanks alot for reply.
goldengloss
GentleJim ~ I know I have and thanks, it was an emotional move and the dog is just too old to re train and I could not live like that in such a small space.wave
goldengloss
Slainte ~ you have a great heart. If I had a car [I don't drive ] I would have brought him up myself [believe it or not ] and given him in. I would pretend he got lost. As awful as it sounds, it would be the kindest things to do. sad flower

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