Marriage explained....................Yours?...................

1. Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence (a life sentence).

2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution
for the blind.

3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree
and the woman gets her masters.

4. Marriage is a three ring circus : engagement ring, wedding ring and
suffering.

5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year
of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the
woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and
the NEIGHBOR listens.

6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you
wish you had ordered that instead.

7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found
himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found
himself divorced.

8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives
and the wife takes.

9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don't know
son, I'm still paying for it.

10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know
his wife until he marries her. Father: That happens everywhere, son,
EVERYWHERE!

11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is
love; after marriage it is self-defense.

13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year
married man looks happy, we wonder why.

14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her.
They got married, and now he is going through HELL.

15. Confucius says: man who sinks into woman's arm soon have arms in
woman's sink.

16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him
keep her.

17. Eighty percent of married man cheat in America, the rest cheat in
Europe.

18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just
can't face each other, but still they stay together.

19. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they
try to decide which one.

20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent.

21. I married Miss Right, I just didn't know her first name was Always.

22. It's not true that married men live longer than single men, it only
seems longer.

23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

24. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL-MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL
HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE. WHAT
HAPPENED, asked his friend. He says MY WIFE FOUND OUT.

25. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but if you
get home before I do, leave the hallway lights on.

26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: AREN'T YOU WEARING
YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I, AM. I MARRIED
THE WRONG MAN.

27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.

28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still
ends up with the same boss.

29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he
received a hundred letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE
MINE.

30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.

Comments (28)

So very true Jim wave
goldengloss
BC ~ Brilliant Blog. laugh Love is blind, that is so so true. heart beating
Correction for Jim
It does not have to be a marriage partner Jim, boy or girlfriend will do it too wave
studecar
You deserve a medal and a Master's Degree. I read your posts all the time ,I can say, mostly that is why I turn on the PC. I've been married 2 times and I could tell you a lot of things about marriage , the only thing I will tell you is , the first one was a nympho - the second one was a queen of all prudes - 'nuf said. studecarprofessor
Oh my goodness Stud talk about contrast...............third time? You know what they say.

Stud thank you so much for your faithful attention to my blogs-forums.
Here I was contemplating to disapear again for awhile...........Oh boy.............wave Jenny
Hi BC wave I think you nailed it this time very funny. thumbs up
Hi whenever, yes this seems to hit a truth with most people...............something familiar wave..... Jenny
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
This does not include you two okay?
You prove everyone wrong you hear?
Some of these are funny don/t you think ? rolling on the floor laughing ...............Jenny wave
Jenny applause

Art is twice married and twice divorced.

And you’d think he has had enough but no....he’s gonna embark on his third marriage. grin
Mimi, you know what they say about the third time right?
See Art has learned from the two other marriages so?................hug wave
I will make sure he won’t be able to escape my clutches devil

laugh


Have a great weekend ahead, Jenny hug bouquet
Lol, Don't believe your Art wants to escape Mimi ...............wave
You have a great weekend too okay?
Lol, Don't believe your Art wants to escape Mimi ...............wave
You have a great weekend too okay?
miclee
wow

hmmm

Ummm...Jenny?
Those beauty treatments you've been taking.
They come with, like, a money back guarantee - right?
Just me being curious

uh oh

cowboy
These were the cause of my transformation Miclee

Cute story. A big dog was in a kennel and people came to adopt it.
This dog refused to leave the kennel, the reason was there was another dog in
his kennel. A tiny dog, his buddy.
The people ended up adopting both dogs.
You see the large dog in the car and in the crook of his paws close to its chest in the tiny dog
Real precious..............wave
Jenny,

I think you covered all of the bases about marriage in your blog!laugh laugh
Hi Jim, yeah it looks like indeed all basics covered, nothing to add anymore.................wave...................Jenny
dimplesimple
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.
laugh ............true
Hi Dimples I can often tell if a couple is from Europe when ordering food.
From Europe? She gets the order.................. wave
ComposeRRRR
In a marriage, why does the man usually die first?

He wants to.
Yes true, why often do men die before the women do?
Personally I believe it is because women are stronger

In my own case I pray he dies first because I know I can take better care of myself than he can, just a fact

wave
ComposeRRRR
Your answer confirms it. He wants to.
Very funny good ones.
Nah Compose hubby enjoys life too much yet.....................wave
singleoldguy
The information u posted should b prerequisite to a marriage licence
Single you may have a good point there, ..............wave ... I remarried so? wave

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