A Tale of Country Folk

There is a tradition in the Derbyshire peak district, known as Well Dressing. As the name suggests, the practice is characterised by the decoration of wells, predominantly with flower petals. Not to be outdone, the adjacent county also has a proud tradition of its own.

Over the border in Yorkshire there is the much lesser known but, arguably, more imaginative ritual of Todger Trimming, also known as festooning the hangings. Village maidens will embellish the todgers of the local menfolk with brightly coloured ribbons and a little bell, suspended on a few strands of spun pubic hair, harvested from that years Queen of the May by the vicar of the parish, who this task traditionally falls to.

After the last bow has been neatly tied and every todger been subjected to the scrutiny and approval of the mothers of the maidens, whose job it is to give that final touch to the todgers, off skip the menfolk to the May Pole. Here, trouserless and frivolous, the men weave in and out one another as they merrily dance around the pole. A more jolly and perplexing scene is to be found nowhere else in English folklore.

After all the dancing, cheering, merry making and song, and after the judging of the todgers and awarding of the prizes, the day ends as it began, and out comes the mead. Before long, all falls silent, save for the faint tinkling of lots of tiny bells as the men stagger through the village in pursuit of the maidens. The maidens, however, knowing what was coming and not being handicapped by the effects of mead, have little trouble in avoiding the, by know, somewhat larger todgers that they previously paid such fastidious attention to.