The Wall

Having a large property that borders onto derelict homes and orchards is becoming a security risk; I am finding illegal animals coming over the boundary and stealing my animal’s food, hanging around and generally causing the legal residents to be too scared to venture out after dark.

Some illegals are drinking my pool water and often drowning in it, these wasps are unwanted; I have birds that think my fruit trees are purely for their consumption, cats that normally live in the olive groves bring rats and other vermin to illegal parties and probably take drugs.

My solution is simple, I shall build my walls higher, add razor wire along with booby traps, I shall make a point of taking baby birds, kittens, young wasps away from their parents and detain them but humanly supply them with little tin foil blankets (I’m not a barbarian).

I will make my gardens great again.

Comments (20)

Loving the tin foil blankets laugh
I'm a bit plagued by flies - not a lot, but the ones there are will not take a hint and buzz off

I have deadly fly spray for the terrace but when I used it in the atrium there was an outcry from the swallows' nest 'hey trying to raise a family here' and so of course the flies moved operations to the atrium.
I also trapped my Arty with booby trap wink

Good to see you on the blogs again, Map! applause
Biffff applause

Use these sticky paper to trap flies.

Mimi, I think we scared Map off. Or he is chasing wasps away with roars of rage

Those fly papers, can I get them in prettier colours? blues

Have to go wash my car, I have a guest arriving tomorrow and although she's not a precious sort who faints at the sight of dirt, I'm not sure we'll get her case in the boot if I don't do some mucking out.
See you later, alligator! applause
pat8lanips
The decent thing to do, is demolish the wall altogether, plant and nurture heaps of fruit trees for them to crap all over and destroy, build a pool in the park down the road for them . Turn a blind eye when they bite your children on the bum, and give them access to your bank account as well as letting them build places of worship to congregate and plan various bad deeds.
Then, people will see you as a shining beacon of humanity, and that's the main thing.
Bogart_1960
God dammit., I'm not going to pay for that f*ck wall. I am building a beautiful bigly wall, and I am taxing everyone.


brw, Who's gonna take the garbage out??laugh



great one, cheers
ekself
Is that how you do it... I am taking notes. After reading Pat's comment I feel a bit bad about my evil thoughts. I was starting to measure the cows to see which one will fit into my freezer. Won't do that again. rolling on the floor laughing
Mapmaker
Biff, Water, vinegar, rosemary and peppermint oils mixed in a spray bottle will eradicate these illegal aliens, I also say dont give the maggots little tin foil blankets, let them freeze.

Mimi, “booby trap” brilliant! (being back is a social experiment)

Pat, There are fruit trees in their own country, mine are out of bounds, This worship thing you mention has me worried, I see little nests full of chanting botherers, this will be stopped by an executive order.

Bogard, I will tax the feck out of my legal residents to pay for the wall, as for the garbage that will be thrown over the wall now.

Ekself, Measure the cows, For your information the density of a slaughtered illegal cow is 3.7 times the solid pre butchered volume. (Mince size dependant of course)
ekself
Map...now you are making it complicated.sigh though getting the thing to die was the difficult part. laugh
Mapmaker
ek, Throwing stones at the cow is one way, however I would recommend a licenced butcher be employed and paid with your fudge to despatch the animal and chop it up into useful chunks of meat and meat products, the hide can be made into velskoens and sold at the market, its a win win and no more illegal cow.
ekself
Map...we have a serious lack of stones here so use mainly pieces of wood or pine cones.it will have to be killed and processed very quietly and preferably without anyone seeing it happen. They belong to no one while eating your vegetables but suddenly gets an owner when it transforms into steaks and biltong.
Mapmaker
Ek, If I was a cow I would absolutely love being killed with pine cones, it would be a noble way to die and of course the meat would be very tender.
To stop the animal owner from claiming the meat use a permanent marker, sign each piece, or if time permits then tattoo your name on each and every part of the animal, white ink will make your biltong stand out.
ekself
Map..rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing I'm busy painting I don't care, do you? on my jacket as someone will have to visit your care fasilities to see if they all have tin foil blankets. Think it is my duty but can't do it without the right jacket.
Mapmaker
Ek, My care facilities have little tiny tin foil blankets, little tiny egyptian cotton sheets and tiny pillows, our jackets are top of the range and fasten at the back, it stops us flailing around and knocking over ornaments and stuff.
I should mention that I have placed a number of cats in straight jackets as it stops them leaving half dead giant rats under the sofas and semi chewed live rabbits staining my office Persian rug.
Hello Mapmaker handshake Good to see you. as for those wasps, we used to have them in my yard, and the neighbors,doh And then ,one day ,one of the elderly neighbors from across the road told us to hang a ball in a tree or two. ( a ball, paperbag.....something that resembles a bee hive) Apparently wasps and bees don t get along, and wasps avoid bees. Sounds goofy, but the wasps have disappeared,yay
Mapmaker
1to1to1, Good to see you too, I heard about that trick, however the bastards stung my scrotal sack, I passed out from the pain and they moved in, I later realised that it wasn't my balls that I should hang in a tree.

I do have thousands of wasps around my pool and shady areas, they are simply after water and I dont get stung unless I annoy them, they seem to know that I am the giver of water and Im hoping that they will soon bow down before me and I shall be the leader, then the power is mine, mine mine mine (evil laugh)
Map, wave nice to see you back like Mimi said.

A very clever one Map. The similarity of our problem as a country is reverberating with colors.

Here's what my personal opinion, its your property, only you can determine what's best for you. There's a law that bounds to protect our rights as owners of anything.

Now in our case as a country, it's not only illegal for the sake of the law, but the collective damage to our economic and political future Is beyond repair
Make America Humane Again;

"PLAY NOW: Snowball Duel"(meet us in the games)

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