Another penny in the jar (a research question)
The theory - if you put a penny in a jar every time you make love in the first year of your marriage, and after the first year you take a penny out every time, you will never empty the jar.I looked it up to see if I could find out more of the history, one comment, ‘took four years but we finally got the 6th penny out of the jar’
most people were smug about how quickly their jars had emptied. So, research question / opinion please. My characters started a blazing affair 2 years ago. They don’t live together, are neighbours, spend most nights together, and things are good between them. He hadn’t previously been in a relationship, had spent years hooking up once or twice a week - a pretty active libido. She’d had a long-term placid marriage. They got together in book 5 and this is book 10 (last in series) and the regular older beta readers, who have enjoyed this middle-aged romance, want an indication of how good things are between them, how often they are
taking pennies out the jar? I usually stick to writing what I know but my recent relationships have been LDRs and when you don’t see each other often, time spent together is marked by the urgent clinking of pennies
The question - how often is often in a good relationship after two years? Opinion or experience
I may also do a forum question with anonymous boxes to tick. I never get many responses on my research questions but always get something useful, hopefully this time too
Comments (59)
Put it another way. If she was distracted by a financial crisis, and not in the mood, how long before he stopped being patiently supportive and started feeling a little restless... I know, gets complicated, that's why I didn't put that in the blog.
(One bloke I asked about an ongoing relationship said twice a month was doing well)
And the occasional afternoon session when they are feeling frisky
If one of them is distracted and worried about something external, it will affect their lovelife as well. But both, if they know each other well enough, should be aware of this, and not let it take over. Occasional proper date nights of wining and dining will help there.
Well, I think I do. Life is so hectic right now I do wonder if there would be the time. I suppose I could give up blogging
Let's not start a mañana culture with our love life
We see A LOT of our beds because we're in them at around 10pm every night (but some sort of alarm clock is going off every day between 6 and 7.
I think ifthings are right between 2 people, it's simply circumstances (as being exhausted) and not that something is "wrong".
There are still evenings where it's just the 2 of us and no mad deadlines at work.
That job thing can often be the biggest problem, 'I can't, I have a big meeting tomorrow I have to get a good night's sleep' - another reason I'm thinking the date night thing is a good idea. Even if it sometimes needs to be shifted to another night, it doesn't get forgotten
And in a stressful situation, it is a reminder of focus
I haven't been worried about a meeting the next day, I find a long exhausting day worse (let it be due to work or an active toddler).
Couple time is important and if it slows down without any reason, sitting down and having a talk might be a good idea. I want to continue to enjoy being with himself.
Do your readers really want to read about boring old real life
And ta, any chance you could pop to the forum and throw in an anonymous vote? The votes are building up nicely and proving unexpectedly interesting - women seem to be expecting a lot more activity than men
There are murders and manky bodies so I hadn't been bothering with the background couple but turns out at least three readers were ignoring the murders and want to know what's happening to the second-time-round couple. Go figure. Now I have to work it out
I agree being neighbours rather than living together could have its own problems, which is why the idea of something like a date night is really useful
With himself - if it's right, it's right and if not it will just not work over time. I think it'll always be important to make your partner/family a priority and not take them for granted, but there is a chance if something working if 2 people are good for and to each other.
Will we still be putting a penny in the jar as per the 1st year for every session of love making after this first year?
Because if we are, the conclusion to the theory will be correct.
Andd...
As for the lovemaking after the 1st year we're to take a penny out.... that is questionable too,
Quote "and after the first year you take a penny out every time,"
1. Every time just for the one year? or 2. Every time for the rest of the marriage?
Because for 1 Should perhaps read "you will NOT empty the jar."
And for 2 Well... It's pretty unbelievable but definitely possible in some relationships
That's my... Hmm mmm.....
Definitely not once a week. Isn't it better to hire a hunky Jigolo than being in a relationship if that's the case. Full blast week ends and at least twice during week days.
Is that too much asking?