Diplomacy and Kindness
Recently, I had a conflict with a co worker who has become a friend. And someone gave me an advice that united my heart and my mind.. He said: Never pick a fight and make an enemy out of anyone. No matter how you dislike a person, deal with them with diplomacy and kindness. For you never know what they might bring to you.That moment, I gave it deep thought. I have 3 options:
1. I will confront the issue with anger. With it I keep my pride and express to everyone that I am right. And that noone can step on me because I know how to fight back.
2. I will face the issue with apathy. Some people might think I'm wrong on the matter, some people might tale my side. But who cares? I will just act as if I don't care and it doesn't matter.
3. I will talk to the person involved sincerely using diplomacy. Even when she wronged me, I'll give kindness. This will kill my pride but it will keep the peace and won't create unnecessary drama and awkwardness at work. And if by it she still rejects my attempt to peace keeping, at least I will be at peace.
So, I chose option 3, anyway, the only thing I lost was my pride, temporarily. In the end, I kept my friendship and peace. That guy was right. A little diplomacy and kindness go a long way. And letting go of pride once in a while, gives me peace that I need way more than whatever prize pride will ever bring me.
Comments (12)
But also remember your parents raised you well.
Thank you for those kind words. I always do the best I can not to bring shame to my family.
why not just deal with the matter without giving thought to personal loss or gain ... once its resolved or perhaps more understood such conflict shouldn't happen again.. isn't that what should matter most.
Actually, the e conflict was more personal. But because we work together as a team, our fight or estrangement will affect our job. If i can solve it without thinking too deep, i do not know how. I'm hopelessly an overthinker..
nonetheless I might view 1 2 and 3 in a different light.
1/ by confronting doesn't mean you're right or a fighter either ... to me it would prove you'd rather have the problem sorted so you both could pass it.
2/ If and when something matters to you you should always show you care.
3/ I'm a witch so I can't give my view on your third
You keep saying "pride" yet all I'm hearing is you saying you don't matter
sometimes I read too deep when I shouldn't, so hope I'm wrong but if I'm not.... last word, you matter
Some good advise a friend gave me once was not to ever write something in anger and send it, she said to sleep on it and if after rereading it in the morning if I felt the same way, then send it. It was great advise because when I read what I wrote, I saw some meaness in myself that I didn't like. Best advise I ever heeded.
Indeed we have our moments when we can't put our emotions and reactions in check. I bothers me too, and i forgive myself. And like you, I try harder the next time.
This "Life is kind of like the food you eat, if it tastes real good and you can't get enough then it's probably not healthy for you.." is really good since I'm trying to watch my diet..
Yup that is true. As my ex told me I could be mean sometimes, I guess its alright for us to show our deeper emotions. But really, there's a kinder way of showing it. Hope to be able to remind myself of that always.