online dating first message

Favorable First Impressions: 5 Online Dating First Message Tips

Favorable First Impressions: 5 Online Dating First Message Tips

First impressions are everything! Start off on the right foot by reading these helpful tips for crafting the perfect online dating first message.

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Have you ever heard the phrase "love at first swipe?"

If you have, you'll know it's indicative of how ingrained online dating has become in our current culture. In 2017, it was reported that 19% of Internet users were on dating sites or apps, hoping to meet the one (or the one for the night).

According to a BBC report, online daters get a response rate around 50% or less after sending the online dating first message. This can be a little bit frustrating, but the first message is the key to the rest of the relationship.

In this post, we'll talk about some of the most helpful tips for crafting a message that the user you have your eye on is likely to respond to.

Read on for more.

1. Don't Reach Out with Just "Hi"

We've already established that your chances of receiving a message back are less than 50/50. The number goes down when it is a man approaching a woman, as many women get inundated with messages on these platforms.

While you may have a busy life outside of online dating, you'll still have to make at least some effort to impress your potential Prince or Princess Charming. Most people are not likely to respond to a message that just says, "Hi."

Instead, ask a question or acknowledge your mutual interests. Maybe ask if they've read a book by an author you both like or if they've seen a recent film that's come out in a genre you both are interested in.

Reaching out with "hi" can also indicate you have not read the person's profile, which some users may find irritating.

2. Save the Dirty Talk

Don't reach out with a dirty message the first time you're speaking to someone. This means you also shouldn't insinuate something dirty when making the first contact. While there is a time and a place to send spicy messages, the first message on a conventional dating site isn't one of them.

You should also refrain from sending something that could be perceived as dirty unless you're sincerely using a dating service as a hook-up site. Messages like, "Your place or mine?" or "I'd like to be that teddy bear" if the user has a picture of them cuddling a teddy bear are not likely to be well-received.

3. Keep It Brief

While you should make some effort beyond hi with your message, the user on the other end probably doesn't have the time or patience to read a Dickensian novel from you. Be short and to the point, but have more substance than hi.

Anything longer than a paragraph is probably far too long unless you have a serious mutual interest you feel very passionate about. In that case, you may want to go off and hope the other person will nerd out with you.

4. Ask a Question About the Person

We've already talked about asking a question if you have a mutual interest, but in this technique, you can ask a question about the individual themselves.

Maybe you've never been skydiving, but the person lists it as their favorite activity or has a picture of themselves doing it. Ask them what it was like or if they were scared when they did it.

Or, if they have a unique career, you might want to ask them how they chose it or what it's like.

These kind of questions are simple enough that the person can answer without going into a huge amount of detail. They also acknowledge that you've read the person's profile and that you're interested in them beyond their photos.

5. Cut to the Chase

If you see someone you like, don't spend ages messaging back and forth. For some people, this can be a turn-off and make them feel as though they're being strung along.

So, if you really want to meet with someone, let them know immediately. The other person may have different boundaries and suggest you exchange numbers and talk on the phone first. That's totally fine.

But don't spend too long messaging without actually suggesting you meet up for a date. That's what the site is there for in the first place!

Bonus Tip: Be Patient

Patience is often the name of the game when it comes to these sites. Some people may wish to engage immediately, while some people take their time. If someone doesn't respond to you right away, don't assume it's because they dislike you or have decided you're not good enough for them. They may be busy and unable to look at their messages right away.

By all means, do not message the person again and ask why they have not responded. Do not take the extra step and insult them for not responding to what you consider due course. The individual on the other side of the computer doesn't know you and therefore knows nothing about you. As such, they'll respond in their own time when they feel is appropriate.

Insulting the other party will definitely close the deal and you most likely won't go out on a date at all after the exchange.

The Online Dating First Message

The online dating first message can be a tricky one to master, but knowing what to say will make the experience a lot easier. Instead of worrying about what to say, these five tips can help you navigate the world of online dating much more easily.

Ready to jump in and give these tips a try? Sign up today!

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