Ladies, should I just give up? (35)
Apparently, since you have had dates and relationships that have lasted for a few months at least, your appearance isn't the problem. I would suggest taking some time to look inside at what might be going wrong. Are you settling for anyone that will go out with you because you think that you're ugly and need to settle? If so, then you need to become a bit pickier about who you go out with, and seek compatibility. Are you trying too hard, and thereby driving them away over a short time? If so, you need to relax and be yourself.
There are many people who are not that physically attractive who find really good relationships because they have good self esteem and are true to themselves. Stop focusing on your looks, and start focusing on who you are inside, and you will find somebody who values you for you.
There are many people who are not that physically attractive who find really good relationships because they have good self esteem and are true to themselves. Stop focusing on your looks, and start focusing on who you are inside, and you will find somebody who values you for you.
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Lee38: I'm considering, aged just 38, of giving up the whole dating scene. The prospect of the single life depresses me but I've come to the conclusion, after three years of internet dating, that I'm simply too ugly to attract anyone I might fancy.
I've met some wonderful people, and some not-so-wonderful ones, but the truth's becoming increasingly difficult to ignore. Nothing has lasted beyond four months, and most of the relationships a lot less than that. I know I'm physically repulsive because I have to look at this face every day in the mirror, but I'd always thought personality might triumph over aesthetics. Now I think, despite women's claims to the contrary, looks are everything.
This isn't one of those falsely modest posts, by the way, designed to prompt "but you're not ugly" responses. I don't look ugly in my piccies, but I genuinely am in real life (we all choose good piccies, don't we?).
So here's my question to the ladies - is it time to give up and spare myself all the heartache? Or continue on the basis that "looks aren't everything", and there might be a special woman out there somewhere who can overlook appearance?
I've met some wonderful people, and some not-so-wonderful ones, but the truth's becoming increasingly difficult to ignore. Nothing has lasted beyond four months, and most of the relationships a lot less than that. I know I'm physically repulsive because I have to look at this face every day in the mirror, but I'd always thought personality might triumph over aesthetics. Now I think, despite women's claims to the contrary, looks are everything.
This isn't one of those falsely modest posts, by the way, designed to prompt "but you're not ugly" responses. I don't look ugly in my piccies, but I genuinely am in real life (we all choose good piccies, don't we?).
So here's my question to the ladies - is it time to give up and spare myself all the heartache? Or continue on the basis that "looks aren't everything", and there might be a special woman out there somewhere who can overlook appearance?
If you give up, then there is absolutely no chance of finding anyone. Keep the faith and keep looking, if someone like me can find someone, trust me, the odds are in your favor.
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In response to: I'm considering, aged just 38, of giving up the whole dating scene. The prospect of the single life depresses me but I've come to the conclusion, after three years of internet dating, that I'm simply too ugly to attract anyone I might fancy.
I've met some wonderful people, and some not-so-wonderful ones, but the truth's becoming increasingly difficult to ignore. Nothing has lasted beyond four months, and most of the relationships a lot less than that. I know I'm physically repulsive because I have to look at this face every day in the mirror, but I'd always thought personality might triumph over aesthetics. Now I think, despite women's claims to the contrary, looks are everything.
This isn't one of those falsely modest posts, by the way, designed to prompt "but you're not ugly" responses. I don't look ugly in my piccies, but I genuinely am in real life (we all choose good piccies, don't we?).
So here's my question to the ladies - is it time to give up and spare myself all the heartache? Or continue on the basis that "looks aren't everything", and there might be a special woman out there somewhere who can overlook appearance?
I've met some wonderful people, and some not-so-wonderful ones, but the truth's becoming increasingly difficult to ignore. Nothing has lasted beyond four months, and most of the relationships a lot less than that. I know I'm physically repulsive because I have to look at this face every day in the mirror, but I'd always thought personality might triumph over aesthetics. Now I think, despite women's claims to the contrary, looks are everything.
This isn't one of those falsely modest posts, by the way, designed to prompt "but you're not ugly" responses. I don't look ugly in my piccies, but I genuinely am in real life (we all choose good piccies, don't we?).
So here's my question to the ladies - is it time to give up and spare myself all the heartache? Or continue on the basis that "looks aren't everything", and there might be a special woman out there somewhere who can overlook appearance?
I am sorry for your frustration Lee. No I don't think you should give up.
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If you are as ugly as you say you are, and I doubt that. It is something else that is going wrong. You have to work on it and fix it. You have had some type of relationships... You said it, maybe you move too slow, too fast, whatever.
Give yourself some time to figure it out, work on it. There is somebody for everybody. JMO
Give yourself some time to figure it out, work on it. There is somebody for everybody. JMO
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Lee38: I'm considering, aged just 38, of giving up the whole dating scene. The prospect of the single life depresses me but I've come to the conclusion, after three years of internet dating, that I'm simply too ugly to attract anyone I might fancy.
I've met some wonderful people, and some not-so-wonderful ones, but the truth's becoming increasingly difficult to ignore. Nothing has lasted beyond four months, and most of the relationships a lot less than that. I know I'm physically repulsive because I have to look at this face every day in the mirror, but I'd always thought personality might triumph over aesthetics. Now I think, despite women's claims to the contrary, looks are everything.
This isn't one of those falsely modest posts, by the way, designed to prompt "but you're not ugly" responses. I don't look ugly in my piccies, but I genuinely am in real life (we all choose good piccies, don't we?).
So here's my question to the ladies - is it time to give up and spare myself all the heartache? Or continue on the basis that "looks aren't everything", and there might be a special woman out there somewhere who can overlook appearance?
I've met some wonderful people, and some not-so-wonderful ones, but the truth's becoming increasingly difficult to ignore. Nothing has lasted beyond four months, and most of the relationships a lot less than that. I know I'm physically repulsive because I have to look at this face every day in the mirror, but I'd always thought personality might triumph over aesthetics. Now I think, despite women's claims to the contrary, looks are everything.
This isn't one of those falsely modest posts, by the way, designed to prompt "but you're not ugly" responses. I don't look ugly in my piccies, but I genuinely am in real life (we all choose good piccies, don't we?).
So here's my question to the ladies - is it time to give up and spare myself all the heartache? Or continue on the basis that "looks aren't everything", and there might be a special woman out there somewhere who can overlook appearance?
i've been thinking the same thing lately, but the forums on here are good and some of the topics can be very interesting, so i'm going to stay on here for them alone !
as for meeting someone i really don't believe it's possible to meet any prospective partners on any dating site because in my experience of them very very few of the people i've met have been honest in their profile, also the majority of people that don't submit a profile picture are married !
i have however met a few people that i can honestly say will be lifelong friends, i feel that the longer i am without a partner the better i am staying on my own.
and you know what i'm happy that way !
i'm perfectly happy in my own skin !!!!!!!!!!!!
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I don't think you are repulsive...but I don't fit with what you are looking for. That could be true for many others.
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No one is ugly. Don't give up. You'll find someone who likes you for you and not your appearance....
You are better looking than a lot that I've seen...in person.
Hang in there, Toots.
You are better looking than a lot that I've seen...in person.
Hang in there, Toots.
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I will keep this simple. Set your dating standards higher. It seems that you are trying to date just about anyone who gives you attention because of your insecurities. With me insecurities are alot more unattractive then looks.
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I don't normally check out profiles of guys below 40 but was compelled to check out yours, just to see what you consider 'ugly' in yourself.
I don't see anything wrong but don't mind me...I'm just an old bag attempting to lift your spirits.
You are of a cheerful disposition and that alone can catch the attention of many young ladies in here. So don't give up, stay on the forums and in no time you'll be telling us you've found 'THE' one.
I don't see anything wrong but don't mind me...I'm just an old bag attempting to lift your spirits.
You are of a cheerful disposition and that alone can catch the attention of many young ladies in here. So don't give up, stay on the forums and in no time you'll be telling us you've found 'THE' one.
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I thought I would reply as well. You can't have a give up attitude because people we see that and will not want to date you. I know it is hard because you aren't finding the right person, but please don't give up!
I find that if you are in your element..ie you like who you are as a person, you lead a busy life and take time to par take in activities that fulfill your mind and soul, and you have a couple of friends with whom you can count on then people see that and gravitate towards you. when you are actively looking or have a terrible attitude, I find that no one takes an interest in me.
just go out there and lead the best life you can and be the best person you can and soon enough someone great will come for you. but in the meantime, don't settle for the girls you have been dating....wait until the right one comes along.
so don't worry...you are not ugly....and you will find someone who loves you just the way you are.
I find that if you are in your element..ie you like who you are as a person, you lead a busy life and take time to par take in activities that fulfill your mind and soul, and you have a couple of friends with whom you can count on then people see that and gravitate towards you. when you are actively looking or have a terrible attitude, I find that no one takes an interest in me.
just go out there and lead the best life you can and be the best person you can and soon enough someone great will come for you. but in the meantime, don't settle for the girls you have been dating....wait until the right one comes along.
so don't worry...you are not ugly....and you will find someone who loves you just the way you are.
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I think you need a hug. Dont give up. Meeting a person that makes ever thing you have shutter inside and out, the feeling that oh my gosh am I 16 again the talking all night and so excited to wathc them speak and really care what they say. T know that you are both the most imporant thing right now, and know one else matters. That makes me keep going whether I meet on line or outside. I want that feeling and so does everyone on this site. Chances are hard, But, you never know when it will happen. But, it will. SmileLee38: I'm considering, aged just 38, of giving up the whole dating scene. The prospect of the single life depresses me but I've come to the conclusion, after three years of internet dating, that I'm simply too ugly to attract anyone I might fancy.
I've met some wonderful people, and some not-so-wonderful ones, but the truth's becoming increasingly difficult to ignore. Nothing has lasted beyond four months, and most of the relationships a lot less than that. I know I'm physically repulsive because I have to look at this face every day in the mirror, but I'd always thought personality might triumph over aesthetics. Now I think, despite women's claims to the contrary, looks are everything.
This isn't one of those falsely modest posts, by the way, designed to prompt "but you're not ugly" responses. I don't look ugly in my piccies, but I genuinely am in real life (we all choose good piccies, don't we?).
So here's my question to the ladies - is it time to give up and spare myself all the heartache? Or continue on the basis that "looks aren't everything", and there might be a special woman out there somewhere who can overlook appearance?
I've met some wonderful people, and some not-so-wonderful ones, but the truth's becoming increasingly difficult to ignore. Nothing has lasted beyond four months, and most of the relationships a lot less than that. I know I'm physically repulsive because I have to look at this face every day in the mirror, but I'd always thought personality might triumph over aesthetics. Now I think, despite women's claims to the contrary, looks are everything.
This isn't one of those falsely modest posts, by the way, designed to prompt "but you're not ugly" responses. I don't look ugly in my piccies, but I genuinely am in real life (we all choose good piccies, don't we?).
So here's my question to the ladies - is it time to give up and spare myself all the heartache? Or continue on the basis that "looks aren't everything", and there might be a special woman out there somewhere who can overlook appearance?
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keeper22: I think you need a hug. Dont give up. Meeting a person that makes ever thing you have shutter inside and out, the feeling that oh my gosh am I 16 again the talking all night and so excited to wathc them speak and really care what they say. T know that you are both the most imporant thing right now, and know one else matters. That makes me keep going whether I meet on line or outside. I want that feeling and so does everyone on this site. Chances are hard, But, you never know when it will happen. But, it will. Smile
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In life whatever the prob we are facing, we must never give up, we must all keep that hope, remember, Loosers never win, and winners never quit
Sometime i feel these dry spells, is a time to learn, mature, and look at life differently! It Helps us to see who WE ARE,many times , it is a good thing, For a while! Keep that faith and hope, and learn all you can NOW! Their is a reason, I do feel
Sometime i feel these dry spells, is a time to learn, mature, and look at life differently! It Helps us to see who WE ARE,many times , it is a good thing, For a while! Keep that faith and hope, and learn all you can NOW! Their is a reason, I do feel
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Lee38: I'm considering, aged just 38, of giving up the whole dating scene. The prospect of the single life depresses me but I've come to the conclusion, after three years of internet dating, that I'm simply too ugly to attract anyone I might fancy.
I've met some wonderful people, and some not-so-wonderful ones, but the truth's becoming increasingly difficult to ignore. Nothing has lasted beyond four months, and most of the relationships a lot less than that. I know I'm physically repulsive because I have to look at this face every day in the mirror, but I'd always thought personality might triumph over aesthetics. Now I think, despite women's claims to the contrary, looks are everything.
This isn't one of those falsely modest posts, by the way, designed to prompt "but you're not ugly" responses. I don't look ugly in my piccies, but I genuinely am in real life (we all choose good piccies, don't we?).
So here's my question to the ladies - is it time to give up and spare myself all the heartache? Or continue on the basis that "looks aren't everything", and there might be a special woman out there somewhere who can overlook appearance?
I've met some wonderful people, and some not-so-wonderful ones, but the truth's becoming increasingly difficult to ignore. Nothing has lasted beyond four months, and most of the relationships a lot less than that. I know I'm physically repulsive because I have to look at this face every day in the mirror, but I'd always thought personality might triumph over aesthetics. Now I think, despite women's claims to the contrary, looks are everything.
This isn't one of those falsely modest posts, by the way, designed to prompt "but you're not ugly" responses. I don't look ugly in my piccies, but I genuinely am in real life (we all choose good piccies, don't we?).
So here's my question to the ladies - is it time to give up and spare myself all the heartache? Or continue on the basis that "looks aren't everything", and there might be a special woman out there somewhere who can overlook appearance?
Wow what a good attitude to have saying maybe too ugly..
Hmm are you this way when you chat to woman..
God to some of us inside is what counts more then the outside..
but if your attitude is like this..
then maybe you should not wonder why you havent been dating
Come on chin up..It takes time...Everything happens for a reason
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Lee, I just looked at your profile.
You stated that you do like women with long, dark hair.
That might be true, but by writing that, I'd say a number of potential women might self select themselves from contacting you. Why be so specific about hair?
You stated that you do like women with long, dark hair.
That might be true, but by writing that, I'd say a number of potential women might self select themselves from contacting you. Why be so specific about hair?
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druidess6308: Apparently, since you have had dates and relationships that have lasted for a few months at least, your appearance isn't the problem. I would suggest taking some time to look inside at what might be going wrong. Are you settling for anyone that will go out with you because you think that you're ugly and need to settle? If so, then you need to become a bit pickier about who you go out with, and seek compatibility. Are you trying too hard, and thereby driving them away over a short time? If so, you need to relax and be yourself.
There are many people who are not that physically attractive who find really good relationships because they have good self esteem and are true to themselves. Stop focusing on your looks, and start focusing on who you are inside, and you will find somebody who values you for you.
There are many people who are not that physically attractive who find really good relationships because they have good self esteem and are true to themselves. Stop focusing on your looks, and start focusing on who you are inside, and you will find somebody who values you for you.
I completely agree. Sometimes it's easier to meet women if you're a studmuffin - hell, I used to be quite jealous of my brother who'd have women checking him out everywhere we went - but I've discovered over the years that as long as I can get a good conversation good I can usually have a date that Friday. However, it takes a good personality to keep her around.
Online is a bit different, okay it's a lot different. The rules change, mostly because it's like 1 to 10 ratio of men to women on dating sites so you've got to remember that whoever you messaged has probably got 9 other contenders that day messaging them.
Also when you e-mail someone, look at their last "login date" if it's been over a month, don't even bother e-mailing them. From my experience it usually means they don't even come to the site anymore. For some reason CS seems to stop the counter at "Over one month" instead of "Hasn't been on in a decade", lol.
So either way, online or in real life, you've gotta accept a few things. If you think you're ugly, then you're not broadcasting confidence and that's very rarely a good sign. You need to realize that a good personality does factor into the attractive formula, if you have a good personality and good morals (Loyalty, honesty, etc) you can easily become a 10 in their eyes.
Don't give up. Just remember that if it wasn't a challenge, it wouldn't be worth doing.
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You can't expect someone else to love you if you don't love yourself first. Calling yourself repulsive or ugly speaks (to me anyway) of a self loathing for one reason or another. Perhaps I'm wrong, but you've spoken of short relationships. Did you think perhaps you have had short relationships because the 2 of you didn't want to do the work involved in really getting to know one another and working through issues that came up? It is often easier to walk away from something or someone instead of working out what is uncomfortable about it. JMO
I wish you well and feel you will come across the right one some day, whether here, work or your community.
I wish you well and feel you will come across the right one some day, whether here, work or your community.
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Yes, you should just give up. I did, now I own a Realdoll and I have NO REGRETS.
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I've met some wonderful people, and some not-so-wonderful ones, but the truth's becoming increasingly difficult to ignore. Nothing has lasted beyond four months, and most of the relationships a lot less than that. I know I'm physically repulsive because I have to look at this face every day in the mirror, but I'd always thought personality might triumph over aesthetics. Now I think, despite women's claims to the contrary, looks are everything.
This isn't one of those falsely modest posts, by the way, designed to prompt "but you're not ugly" responses. I don't look ugly in my piccies, but I genuinely am in real life (we all choose good piccies, don't we?).
So here's my question to the ladies - is it time to give up and spare myself all the heartache? Or continue on the basis that "looks aren't everything", and there might be a special woman out there somewhere who can overlook appearance?