Blondes (41)
And right after posting this joke, I happened to click on the profile of a really cute blonde... and she ownes 2 ranches in San Antonio! I'm in so much trouble... LOL! 
What're the odds?
- Michael ("American by birth, Texan by the Grace of God!")
What're the odds?
- Michael ("American by birth, Texan by the Grace of God!")
Ooohhhhhh! I like em! 
Why do blondes have more fun? Because everything is always new to them.
What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel.
- Michael ("American by birth, Texan by the Grace of God!")
Why do blondes have more fun? Because everything is always new to them.
What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel.
- Michael ("American by birth, Texan by the Grace of God!")
what do you call those 10 blondes in a circle? tornado.
how do you kill a blonde? put spikes on her shoulder pads
how do you drown a blonde? put a scratch and sniff sticker in the bottom of the pool (or tub)
here's a really good one.
there are 3 blondes and one brunette standing on a street corner. An interested party drives up and asks "how much?" The brunette points to herself and says "regluar price" then she points to each of the blondes and says "five bucks" "five bucks" "five bucks".
do you think the rest of texas is blonde since we're the only two contributing?
how do you kill a blonde? put spikes on her shoulder pads
how do you drown a blonde? put a scratch and sniff sticker in the bottom of the pool (or tub)
here's a really good one.
there are 3 blondes and one brunette standing on a street corner. An interested party drives up and asks "how much?" The brunette points to herself and says "regluar price" then she points to each of the blondes and says "five bucks" "five bucks" "five bucks".
do you think the rest of texas is blonde since we're the only two contributing?
Nahhh, the rest of Texas is just BORING! Hello out there??? 
Ok you're going to have to explain the "5 bucks" blondes to me, cause I didn't get it.
- Michael ("American by birth, Texan by the Grace of God!")
Ok you're going to have to explain the "5 bucks" blondes to me, cause I didn't get it.
- Michael ("American by birth, Texan by the Grace of God!")
Ohhh! I get it now... "Regular price, 5 bucks, 5 bucks, 5 bucks!"
You feel old? I just turned 39 last week... ughhh!
- Michael ("American by birth, Texan by the Grace of God!")
You feel old? I just turned 39 last week... ughhh!
- Michael ("American by birth, Texan by the Grace of God!")
yea I feel old becuase i realized as i was posting that last reply that some of the twenty year olds on her probably never saw that commercial. Or were too young to remember it. But at least I'm not 39 
Cheap shot I know...but I had to take it.
And since you didn't respond to the other part I'm assuming you're not going for the lame kids jokes. yet you like the dancing the banana
????
you think we should retitle this thread to Angel and Michael's public conversatoin
?? lol
Cheap shot I know...but I had to take it. And since you didn't respond to the other part I'm assuming you're not going for the lame kids jokes. yet you like the dancing the banana
????you think we should retitle this thread to Angel and Michael's public conversatoin
?? lolOk I'm drawing a blank here... sorry.
- Michael ("American by birth, Texan by the Grace of God!")
- Michael ("American by birth, Texan by the Grace of God!")
A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.
She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand."
"What did you not understand ?"
And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"
She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand."
"What did you not understand ?"
And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"
Q: What do you call an eternity?
A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.
Q: What do SMART Blondes and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them but never see them.
Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.
A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.
Q: What do SMART Blondes and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them but never see them.
Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.
Yes!!! Finally someone else is posting on here. Those were a few new ones too. 
Good ones! I like'em! Especially the lightning storm one.
Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear?
A: Thanks for the fill-up!
- Michael ("American by birth, Texan by the Grace of God!")
Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear?
A: Thanks for the fill-up!
- Michael ("American by birth, Texan by the Grace of God!")
A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat at the bar watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump!
Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead her $50. The redhead refused saying "I can't take this, you're my friend."
But the blonde insisted saying, "No. A bet's a bet."
Then the redhead said, "Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The blonde replied, "Well, so did I but I didn't think he would jump again!"
- Michael ("American by birth, Texan by the Grace of God!")
Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead her $50. The redhead refused saying "I can't take this, you're my friend."
But the blonde insisted saying, "No. A bet's a bet."
Then the redhead said, "Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."
The blonde replied, "Well, so did I but I didn't think he would jump again!"
- Michael ("American by birth, Texan by the Grace of God!")
Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.
The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think they could be bird tracks."
The second blonde went to look and said, "No, I think these are deer tracks."
They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, and before she could voice an opinion she got run over by the train!
Hello!
- Michael ("American by birth, Texan by the Grace of God!")
The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think they could be bird tracks."
The second blonde went to look and said, "No, I think these are deer tracks."
They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, and before she could voice an opinion she got run over by the train!
Hello!
- Michael ("American by birth, Texan by the Grace of God!")
Those are definitely some new ones Michael. I'm going to have to have brush up...I still can't think of any other new one.
lrrh77: Those are definitely some new ones Michael. I'm going to have to have brush up...I still can't think of any other new one.
I cheat, I Google.
- Michael ("American by birth, Texan by the Grace of God!")
Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was
pregnant?
A: "Is it mine?"
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, ... I know 'em all."
A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"
The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy. it's W."
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact
on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."
The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"
So, the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's
me!"
Blondes, gotta luv 'em!
- Michael ("American by birth, Texan by the Grace of God!")
pregnant?
A: "Is it mine?"
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, ... I know 'em all."
A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"
The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy. it's W."
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact
on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."
The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"
So, the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's
me!"
Blondes, gotta luv 'em!
- Michael ("American by birth, Texan by the Grace of God!")
Michael211_2000: I cheat, I Google.
- Michael ("American by birth, Texan by the Grace of God!")
- Michael ("American by birth, Texan by the Grace of God!")
You should be ashamed!!!!lrrh77: You should be ashamed!!!!
I'm shameless... sorry.
- Michael ("American by birth, Texan by the Grace of God!")
There was a blond walking along a road in the desert when she spied another blond rowing a bow in the sand. She looks over and said, "you know, it's stupid blonds like you that give the rest of us a bad name. And if I could swim I come over there and beat the crap out of you."
How about the blond who had twins and still can't figure out who the other father is.
A blond was walking along beside a river. A blond on the other side shout. "Hey how do I get to the other side." the first blond shouts back, " DAH you're on the other side."
How about the blond who had twins and still can't figure out who the other father is.
A blond was walking along beside a river. A blond on the other side shout. "Hey how do I get to the other side." the first blond shouts back, " DAH you're on the other side."
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- Michael ("American by birth, Texan by the Grace of God!")