is your past, too much baggage (34)
maybesoon: does your past, become too much "baggage" for today's relationships,
when your in a relationship, you want to know all about the person, you cant talk about the present, cause you dont have one when your going out with someone, the first thing you talk about is what made you, who you are today.., "the past"..
people profiles are all basically the same, "honest" "open" "kind" "sincere" "loyal" and no "baggage" thank you very much!!!!
What do you do, start from the beginning, and then couple's say, "you haven't once ask me about my past, and who I really am"
I'm in search mode for the answer to relationships, and what they really are, and what makes a "relationship"
when your in a relationship, you want to know all about the person, you cant talk about the present, cause you dont have one when your going out with someone, the first thing you talk about is what made you, who you are today.., "the past"..
people profiles are all basically the same, "honest" "open" "kind" "sincere" "loyal" and no "baggage" thank you very much!!!!
What do you do, start from the beginning, and then couple's say, "you haven't once ask me about my past, and who I really am"
I'm in search mode for the answer to relationships, and what they really are, and what makes a "relationship"
I honestly don't think anyone can say they don't have any baggage...if they don't then they either are not being honest with themselves or have lived a pretty sheltered life...The key with baggage is not whether you have any...BUT what you have chosen to do with it...Have you dealt with it and healed from it...OR have you just chosen to push it away until it builds up and comes back to haunt you when you least expect it?????
I think dealing with it and healing from it is obviously the best way before moving on into any relationship...or it's only gonna rear it's ugly head and interfere in your next one...That being said we also may have baggage come up we didn't realize we had...in which case your partner can help you deal with it and heal from it as long as you keep the communication open and don't shut them out....
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Hugz_n_Kissez: I honestly don't think anyone can say they don't have any baggage...if they don't then they either are not being honest with themselves or have lived a pretty sheltered life...The key with baggage is not whether you have any...BUT what you have chosen to do with it...Have you dealt with it and healed from it...OR have you just chosen to push it away until it builds up and comes back to haunt you when you least expect it?????I think dealing with it and healing from it is obviously the best way before moving on into any relationship...or it's only gonna rear it's ugly head and interfere in your next one...That being said we also may have baggage come up we didn't realize we had...in which case your partner can help you deal with it and heal from it as long as you keep the communication open and don't shut them out....
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Hugz_n_Kissez: I honestly don't think anyone can say they don't have any baggage...if they don't then they either are not being honest with themselves or have lived a pretty sheltered life...The key with baggage is not whether you have any...BUT what you have chosen to do with it...Have you dealt with it and healed from it...OR have you just chosen to push it away until it builds up and comes back to haunt you when you least expect it?????I think dealing with it and healing from it is obviously the best way before moving on into any relationship...or it's only gonna rear it's ugly head and interfere in your next one...That being said we also may have baggage come up we didn't realize we had...in which case your partner can help you deal with it and heal from it as long as you keep the communication open and don't shut them out....
that's great, but the forum question isn't about me, I'm asking a open question here... so why hugs!! are you not in relationship whats stopping you!!! from going out and finding someone... whata re you looking for..
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It would depend on what you mean by "baggage". If you're talking about kids and ex's, I don't see where there's much you can do about that. If they're any kind of a parent, the kids are here to stay and the ex that goes along with those kids will have to be dealt with from time to time. That's just a fact of life.
When I used to check out profiles, the first thing I looked at was their answer to the "kids" question. If it didn't say what I need to hear then I just moved on without checking anything else out. My kids are and always will be the most important people in my life and I needed whoever I was going to communicate with to be able to understand and accept that.
As for the rest of the "baggage", it made us who we are. "Baggage" is not necessarily a bad thing. It all depends on how you deal with it.
When I used to check out profiles, the first thing I looked at was their answer to the "kids" question. If it didn't say what I need to hear then I just moved on without checking anything else out. My kids are and always will be the most important people in my life and I needed whoever I was going to communicate with to be able to understand and accept that.
As for the rest of the "baggage", it made us who we are. "Baggage" is not necessarily a bad thing. It all depends on how you deal with it.
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I call them chapters of my life
Im able to close those chapters and open new ones at that
If I feel like reminiscing in the past I can easily open one of those chapters and then close it again..
Sometimes a chapter of the past for me is a good reminder of what life is truly all about
Im able to close those chapters and open new ones at that
If I feel like reminiscing in the past I can easily open one of those chapters and then close it again..
Sometimes a chapter of the past for me is a good reminder of what life is truly all about
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maybesoon: does your past, become too much "baggage" for today's relationships,
when your in a relationship, you want to know all about the person, you cant talk about the present, cause you dont have one when your going out with someone, the first thing you talk about is what made you, who you are today.., "the past"..
people profiles are all basically the same, "honest" "open" "kind" "sincere" "loyal" and no "baggage" thank you very much!!!!
What do you do, start from the beginning, and then couple's say, "you haven't once ask me about my past, and who I really am"
I'm in search mode for the answer to relationships, and what they really are, and what makes a "relationship"
when your in a relationship, you want to know all about the person, you cant talk about the present, cause you dont have one when your going out with someone, the first thing you talk about is what made you, who you are today.., "the past"..
people profiles are all basically the same, "honest" "open" "kind" "sincere" "loyal" and no "baggage" thank you very much!!!!
What do you do, start from the beginning, and then couple's say, "you haven't once ask me about my past, and who I really am"
I'm in search mode for the answer to relationships, and what they really are, and what makes a "relationship"
I think for myself i would rather have a relationship when all past events are left in the past.
start a new relationship with not knowing what went on in the last relationship.
Always looking forward to a brighter future together
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maybesoon: that's great, but the forum question isn't about me, I'm asking a open question here... so why hugs!! are you not in relationship whats stopping you!!! from going out and finding someone... whata re you looking for..
Yes I realize that...when I say you...I meant that in a general way....Wellllll I am holding out for the right man...and I realized myself lately that I have a few things left to deal with as well...soooooo I am dealing with those things while waiting for the right man to come into my life...For me I just got tired of unhealthy relationships that lead to nothing but unhappiness and discord in the end soooo now I am at the place where I will not settle for anything less than what I want because I would rather be alone than be in another bad and unhealthy relationship again.
Wellllll I am looking for someone who has the same things to offer as I do...which is honesty...openness...compassion....trust
...romance....consideration...and respect....and the ability to compromise for the best of each person and the relationship...I just haven't found him yet....
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I replaced the word baggage with garbage these days.So I just take out the trash and be done with it.Otherwise I can't love the next like she deserves.
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rodolpho: I replaced the word baggage with garbage these days.So I just take out the trash and be done with it.Otherwise I can't love the next like she deserves.
............'Very wise words'......
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yum_yum: I think for myself i would rather have a relationship when all past events are left in the past.
start a new relationship with not knowing what went on in the last relationship.
Always looking forward to a brighter future together
start a new relationship with not knowing what went on in the last relationship.
Always looking forward to a brighter future together
that would be a prefect relationship!!! wish we could always do that!!!
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I've gotten rid of some of my baggage and need to rid my life of more but it's being done in baby steps.Like one day at a time.
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Mercedes1: I call them chapters of my life
Im able to close those chapters and open new ones at that
If I feel like reminiscing in the past I can easily open one of those chapters and then close it again..
Sometimes a chapter of the past for me is a good reminder of what life is truly all about
Im able to close those chapters and open new ones at that
If I feel like reminiscing in the past I can easily open one of those chapters and then close it again..
Sometimes a chapter of the past for me is a good reminder of what life is truly all about
this is great Mercedes1, thats the way i see it as well, open it up, chat, then close it, thats the way to move on!!
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maybesoon: that would be a prefect relationship!!! wish we could always do that!!!
Its easy to do .
set your mind this person who hurt me wont hurt me no more.
The more this person eats away at me the more i cant do in my life.
the more i let there actions judge other people in my life will
make it a scary place to move forward.
There gone in the bin move on forget the past.
this is what i tell myself and before i did it this way it ruined relationships i had.
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yum_yum: Its easy to do .
set your mind this person who hurt me wont hurt me no more.
The more this person eats away at me the more i cant do in my life.
the more i let there actions judge other people in my life will
make it a scary place to move forward.
There gone in the bin move on forget the past.this is what i tell myself and before i did it this way it ruined relationships i had.
set your mind this person who hurt me wont hurt me no more.
The more this person eats away at me the more i cant do in my life.
the more i let there actions judge other people in my life will
make it a scary place to move forward.
There gone in the bin move on forget the past.this is what i tell myself and before i did it this way it ruined relationships i had.
yeah its holding onto to the past that causes problems, as the past, is the past, and that's where it should be, it only destroys our life cause we let it..
We are victims of our own stupidity!!!
wise words...
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Hugz_n_Kissez: I honestly don't think anyone can say they don't have any baggage...if they don't then they either are not being honest with themselves or have lived a pretty sheltered life...The key with baggage is not whether you have any...BUT what you have chosen to do with it...Have you dealt with it and healed from it...OR have you just chosen to push it away until it builds up and comes back to haunt you when you least expect it?????I think dealing with it and healing from it is obviously the best way before moving on into any relationship...or it's only gonna rear it's ugly head and interfere in your next one...That being said we also may have baggage come up we didn't realize we had...in which case your partner can help you deal with it and heal from it as long as you keep the communication open and don't shut them out....
Hugz, very well said.
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maybesoon: yeah its holding onto to the past that causes problems, as the past, is the past, and that's where it should be, it only destroys our life cause we let it..
We are victims of our own stupidity!!!
wise words...
We are victims of our own stupidity!!!
wise words...
That being said though...I am always interested to know about someone's past....because it is indeed where we have come from that makes us who we are...and it can also explain some things that may have been unexplainable before and lead to a greater understanding of your partner....
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Hugz_n_Kissez: That being said though...I am always interested to know about someone's past....because it is indeed where we have come from that makes us who we are...and it can also explain some things that may have been unexplainable before and lead to a greater understanding of your partner....
too true!!!! now if you got a few hundred years of spare time, ill tell you, or maybe a seat to lay on, and you send me the bill!!!!
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when I first start daing someone, we talk about loads of things...I think that eventually things from the past come up no doubt....BUT, I don't harp on him for whatever he did in the past....the only time it affects me is when it has something to do with a health issue OR some HORRIBLE crime that I probably can't get over.....or some deeeeeeep dark secret....
we ALL have "baggage" or "skeletons" in our closet....but eventually, we gotta let 'em go....
yes, the beginning it's all sweet and nice, as it should be but then again, what do you expect someone to do? tell you they were thrown in a bin at the age of 3 months, lived with wolves and ended up in Toronto on a circus gig????
ok, enough kidding....what makes a relationship are two individuals who can be honest, compassionate, understanding and loving..once you've got all those covered...the rest is gravy
ok, don't shoot me down...JMO
cheers
Curvy
we ALL have "baggage" or "skeletons" in our closet....but eventually, we gotta let 'em go....
yes, the beginning it's all sweet and nice, as it should be but then again, what do you expect someone to do? tell you they were thrown in a bin at the age of 3 months, lived with wolves and ended up in Toronto on a circus gig????
ok, enough kidding....what makes a relationship are two individuals who can be honest, compassionate, understanding and loving..once you've got all those covered...the rest is gravy
ok, don't shoot me down...JMO
cheers
Curvy
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maybesoon: too true!!!! now if you got a few hundred years of spare time, ill tell you, or maybe a seat to lay on, and you send me the bill!!!!
You and me both..It's not a short story by any means...
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when your in a relationship, you want to know all about the person, you cant talk about the present, cause you dont have one when your going out with someone, the first thing you talk about is what made you, who you are today.., "the past"..
people profiles are all basically the same, "honest" "open" "kind" "sincere" "loyal" and no "baggage" thank you very much!!!!
What do you do, start from the beginning, and then couple's say, "you haven't once ask me about my past, and who I really am"
I'm in search mode for the answer to relationships, and what they really are, and what makes a "relationship"