I need a hug! ( Archived) (38)

Apr 30, 2009 6:13 PM CST I need a hug!
bamma882
bamma882bamma882baltimore, Maryland USA10 Threads 270 Posts
So, my son just got home from my ex's house. He comes in and tells me "Mommy said you're bad and I should hate you". So I talk with him and I'm like "Let's go outside it is nice outside" "No daddy I hate you".
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Apr 30, 2009 6:13 PM CST I need a hug!
Polarbutterfly
PolarbutterflyPolarbutterflyunknown, Northwest Territories Canada115 Threads 9,486 Posts
In response to: So, my son just got home from my ex's house. He comes in and tells me "Mommy said you're bad and I should hate you". So I talk with him and I'm like "Let's go outside it is nice outside" "No daddy I hate you".



sad flower


"Awwww....!


hug
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Apr 30, 2009 6:14 PM CST I need a hug!
jessejess47
jessejess47jessejess47ogdensburg, New York USA35 Threads 1 Polls 3,886 Posts
been there ,arnt ex's wonderful....doh
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Apr 30, 2009 6:14 PM CST I need a hug!
bamma882
bamma882bamma882baltimore, Maryland USA10 Threads 270 Posts
jessejess47: been there ,arnt ex's wonderful....


Yup, just fantastic, first time I've cried in 12 years.
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Apr 30, 2009 6:19 PM CST I need a hug!
loves2steppin
loves2steppinloves2steppinConcord, New Hampshire USA20 Threads 1,729 Posts
hug hug One for you and one for the son.........sad flower
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Apr 30, 2009 6:19 PM CST I need a hug!
nurcnurc
nurcnurcnurcnurcLongwood, Florida USA6 Threads 1,192 Posts
teddybear Just keep showing him the love and never, ever say anything against your ex. Then you need to say something about it, very calmly, to your ex. I'm sure it's hurtful.

teddybear hug
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Apr 30, 2009 6:23 PM CST I need a hug!
pebblesbamban
pebblesbambanpebblesbambanPennsylvania, USA3 Threads 4,038 Posts
Children forget very fast, but what i see here, the problem is otherwise. This is very common in early divorces.
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Apr 30, 2009 6:25 PM CST I need a hug!
bamma882
bamma882bamma882baltimore, Maryland USA10 Threads 270 Posts
pebblesbamban: Children forget very fast, but what i see here, the problem is otherwise. This is very common in early divorces.


The divorce was almost two years ago, in june anyway. Shouldn't have to deal with this anymore. The worst part is anytime he even gets nasty with her, I put him in his place.
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Apr 30, 2009 6:26 PM CST I need a hug!
Rise above the hurt. Tonight say prayers with your son, for your family and your ex wife.
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Apr 30, 2009 6:29 PM CST I need a hug!
pebblesbamban
pebblesbambanpebblesbambanPennsylvania, USA3 Threads 4,038 Posts
bamma882: The divorce was almost two years ago, in june anyway. Shouldn't have to deal with this anymore. The worst part is anytime he even gets nasty with her, I put him in his place.








One of the two is going to have to stop this, because here there was only one victim.
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Apr 30, 2009 6:30 PM CST I need a hug!
mylifewithu
mylifewithumylifewithuSpringfield, Missouri USA174 Threads 23,670 Posts
bamma882: The divorce was almost two years ago, in june anyway. Shouldn't have to deal with this anymore. The worst part is anytime he even gets nasty with her, I put him in his place.
But that isn't the worse part, you are being a fantastic dad and someday he will totally respect you cause if you keep showing him love and making him mind then you will be the winner in the end, and he will probable tell her to stop saying bad things about my dad someday. I have seen that happen.teddybear hug comfort
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Apr 30, 2009 6:32 PM CST I need a hug!
bamma882
bamma882bamma882baltimore, Maryland USA10 Threads 270 Posts
mylifewithu: But that isn't the worse part, you are being a fantastic dad and someday he will totally respect you cause if you keep showing him love and making him mind then you will be the winner in the end, and he will probable tell her to stop saying bad things about my dad someday. I have seen that happen.


Yeah, that is what my cousin told me, he went through almost the same thing. Doesn't stop the pain though. Those are words I thought I would never hear.
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Apr 30, 2009 6:35 PM CST I need a hug!
bamma882: Yeah, that is what my cousin told me, he went through almost the same thing. Doesn't stop the pain though. Those are words I thought I would never hear.

I think all parents hear those words a few times if the life of our children.
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Apr 30, 2009 6:37 PM CST I need a hug!
mylifewithu
mylifewithumylifewithuSpringfield, Missouri USA174 Threads 23,670 Posts
bamma882: Yeah, that is what my cousin told me, he went through almost the same thing. Doesn't stop the pain though. Those are words I thought I would never hear.
But before my divorce I got to hear it from my oldest son , so many of us get to hear I hate you when we are grounding them or what ever they don't like. And yes it does hurt. But love wins in the end.hug wink
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Apr 30, 2009 6:38 PM CST I need a hug!
voyager007
voyager007voyager007Khober, Eastern Province Saudi Arabia8 Threads 539 Posts
bamma882: Yup, just fantastic, first time I've cried in 12 years.


wow doh what a wonderful lesson to teach a child "HATE"

well, if I can share a thought with you my firend:

1, DON'T let is get to you.
2, Remember your child is a child, so just act normale and take it easy like you did not hear that word.
3, Reply with "I love you and your mom. Don't say I love your mom. Just I love you AND your mom.
4. Try to even add a smile to your talk with our child and your ex too.
5. Be optimistic and don't make any action or discussion with your ex about it. Just let it go.
6. Don't act neither positive or negative about it just be nice and live your life optimisticly, remember children have minds of there own and they will know why and how to love or hate.

My true advice is just "don't let it get to you AND don't act upon it"

keep smiling from the bottom of your heart, it is hard to hate a smiling face as long as it is from the heart.

cheers peace
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Apr 30, 2009 6:38 PM CST I need a hug!
mylifewithu
mylifewithumylifewithuSpringfield, Missouri USA174 Threads 23,670 Posts
NAKEDMUDPEOPLE: I think all parents hear those words a few times if the life of our children.
That we do.thumbs up wave hug
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Apr 30, 2009 6:41 PM CST I need a hug!
azdesperado72
azdesperado72azdesperado72Flagstaff, Arizona USA6 Threads 155 Posts
I can't remember which it was, my niece or nephew said that to me onetime and I just walked up, gave them a huge hug and said "You can hate me, but I will always love you."

And just really mind what you say about the ex.

My sister has now been divorced for little over a year. His family did nothing but talk trash about my sister and we all did our best not to trash on him (she divorced him for being an alcoholic and a dead beat.)

The kids are now starting to see the truth for themselves. Life isn't easy on my sister, but the kids seem to not have the anger they have towards us that they do the other side of the family.
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Apr 30, 2009 6:44 PM CST I need a hug!
Wednesday74
Wednesday74Wednesday74Central, Florida USA3 Threads 1 Polls 813 Posts
So sad when people use their babies as pawns. Good luck to you. It is a very tough position to be in, but it does get better I've been there. bouquet hug
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Apr 30, 2009 6:45 PM CST I need a hug!
USThumper
USThumperUSThumperMexico, New York USA4 Threads 3,957 Posts
mylifewithu: That we do.
In a way I was lucky. Our youngest was was in his late twentys when we broke up, and my ex and I are still friends. I feel for you though. I dont know what Id have done in your shoes.hug comfort
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Apr 30, 2009 6:49 PM CST I need a hug!
Sparky55
Sparky55Sparky55Somewhere, Afghanistan48 Threads 1 Polls 2,678 Posts
bamma882: So, my son just got home from my ex's house. He comes in and tells me "Mommy said you're bad and I should hate you". So I talk with him and I'm like "Let's go outside it is nice outside" "No daddy I hate you".


It's really sad when one parent talks smack about their ex. Stay on the high road and it'll pay off. Still, it's gotta hurt.
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