I need a hug! (38)
bamma882baltimore, Maryland USA10 Threads 270 PostsSo, my son just got home from my ex's house. He comes in and tells me "Mommy said you're bad and I should hate you". So I talk with him and I'm like "Let's go outside it is nice outside" "No daddy I hate you".
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In response to: So, my son just got home from my ex's house. He comes in and tells me "Mommy said you're bad and I should hate you". So I talk with him and I'm like "Let's go outside it is nice outside" "No daddy I hate you".
"Awwww....!
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been there ,arnt ex's wonderful....
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jessejess47: been there ,arnt ex's wonderful....
Yup, just fantastic, first time I've cried in 12 years.
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One for you and one for the son.........------ This thread is Archived ------
Just keep showing him the love and never, ever say anything against your ex. Then you need to say something about it, very calmly, to your ex. I'm sure it's hurtful. ------ This thread is Archived ------
Children forget very fast, but what i see here, the problem is otherwise. This is very common in early divorces.
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pebblesbamban: Children forget very fast, but what i see here, the problem is otherwise. This is very common in early divorces.
The divorce was almost two years ago, in june anyway. Shouldn't have to deal with this anymore. The worst part is anytime he even gets nasty with her, I put him in his place.
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Rise above the hurt. Tonight say prayers with your son, for your family and your ex wife.
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bamma882: The divorce was almost two years ago, in june anyway. Shouldn't have to deal with this anymore. The worst part is anytime he even gets nasty with her, I put him in his place.
One of the two is going to have to stop this, because here there was only one victim.
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bamma882: The divorce was almost two years ago, in june anyway. Shouldn't have to deal with this anymore. The worst part is anytime he even gets nasty with her, I put him in his place.
But that isn't the worse part, you are being a fantastic dad and someday he will totally respect you cause if you keep showing him love and making him mind then you will be the winner in the end, and he will probable tell her to stop saying bad things about my dad someday. I have seen that happen. 
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mylifewithu: But that isn't the worse part, you are being a fantastic dad and someday he will totally respect you cause if you keep showing him love and making him mind then you will be the winner in the end, and he will probable tell her to stop saying bad things about my dad someday. I have seen that happen.
Yeah, that is what my cousin told me, he went through almost the same thing. Doesn't stop the pain though. Those are words I thought I would never hear.
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bamma882: Yeah, that is what my cousin told me, he went through almost the same thing. Doesn't stop the pain though. Those are words I thought I would never hear.
I think all parents hear those words a few times if the life of our children.
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bamma882: Yeah, that is what my cousin told me, he went through almost the same thing. Doesn't stop the pain though. Those are words I thought I would never hear.
But before my divorce I got to hear it from my oldest son , so many of us get to hear I hate you when we are grounding them or what ever they don't like. And yes it does hurt. But love wins in the end. 
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bamma882: Yup, just fantastic, first time I've cried in 12 years.
wow
what a wonderful lesson to teach a child "HATE"well, if I can share a thought with you my firend:
1, DON'T let is get to you.
2, Remember your child is a child, so just act normale and take it easy like you did not hear that word.
3, Reply with "I love you and your mom. Don't say I love your mom. Just I love you AND your mom.
4. Try to even add a smile to your talk with our child and your ex too.
5. Be optimistic and don't make any action or discussion with your ex about it. Just let it go.
6. Don't act neither positive or negative about it just be nice and live your life optimisticly, remember children have minds of there own and they will know why and how to love or hate.
My true advice is just "don't let it get to you AND don't act upon it"
keep smiling from the bottom of your heart, it is hard to hate a smiling face as long as it is from the heart.
cheers
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NAKEDMUDPEOPLE: I think all parents hear those words a few times if the life of our children.
That we do.
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I can't remember which it was, my niece or nephew said that to me onetime and I just walked up, gave them a huge hug and said "You can hate me, but I will always love you."
And just really mind what you say about the ex.
My sister has now been divorced for little over a year. His family did nothing but talk trash about my sister and we all did our best not to trash on him (she divorced him for being an alcoholic and a dead beat.)
The kids are now starting to see the truth for themselves. Life isn't easy on my sister, but the kids seem to not have the anger they have towards us that they do the other side of the family.
And just really mind what you say about the ex.
My sister has now been divorced for little over a year. His family did nothing but talk trash about my sister and we all did our best not to trash on him (she divorced him for being an alcoholic and a dead beat.)
The kids are now starting to see the truth for themselves. Life isn't easy on my sister, but the kids seem to not have the anger they have towards us that they do the other side of the family.
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mylifewithu: That we do.
In a way I was lucky. Our youngest was was in his late twentys when we broke up, and my ex and I are still friends. I feel for you though. I dont know what Id have done in your shoes. ------ This thread is Archived ------
bamma882: So, my son just got home from my ex's house. He comes in and tells me "Mommy said you're bad and I should hate you". So I talk with him and I'm like "Let's go outside it is nice outside" "No daddy I hate you".
It's really sad when one parent talks smack about their ex. Stay on the high road and it'll pay off. Still, it's gotta hurt.
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Created: Apr 2009
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