controling partner (36)

May 12, 2009 5:14 PM CST controling partner
suzey
suzeysuzeylondon, Ontario Canada2 Threads 31 Posts
What advise can you give to a "controling partner" to make them at ease?, "And to let them know that you are not like that other person, That they use to be with," That had hurt them ., (So they dont have to feel the need to have control in "your" relationship) ('confused')('hug')('rolling on the floor laughing'); ( awww tough one aye) look foreward to your relplys
May 12, 2009 6:47 PM CST controling partner
KHD100
KHD100KHD100Edmonton, Alberta Canada129 Threads 3 Polls 2,495 Posts
suzey: What advise can you give to a "controling partner" to make them at ease?, "And to let them know that you are not like that other person, That they use to be with," That had hurt them ., (So they dont have to feel the need to have control in "your" relationship) ('')('')(''); ( awww tough one aye) look foreward to your relplys


#1, there is not much you can do to put a controlling person at ease.

They control you by making you try to put them at ease.


Controlling person ... can also a person that is abusive. The abusive person does not have to be one that hits, or is negative, but one that controls everything, even you. It wears you down and saps your energy and health, mentally, physically and emotionally.

"And to let them know that you are not like that other person, That they use to be with,"
They will never stop until they fix themselves.


What advise can you give to a "controling partner" to make them at ease?, It's like a person with an addiction, it's not you who can fix it, they have to fix themselves.
May 12, 2009 9:25 PM CST controling partner
bestat45
bestat45bestat45saint john, New Brunswick Canada8 Threads 1,169 Posts
and for the record, alot of the time they have no desire to fix themselves, so that being the case you are putting yourself in a precarious position...just my opinion
May 12, 2009 9:27 PM CST controling partner
bestat45
bestat45bestat45saint john, New Brunswick Canada8 Threads 1,169 Posts
been there and have learned my lesson
May 12, 2009 11:42 PM CST controling partner
KHD100
KHD100KHD100Edmonton, Alberta Canada129 Threads 3 Polls 2,495 Posts
bestat45: been there and have learned my lesson


Ditto!
May 13, 2009 8:59 AM CST controling partner
sasseez
sasseezsasseezlakes entrance, Victoria Australia1 Threads 3,150 Posts
It rare a possesive person with those behaviours will change and a lot of the time its just there personality not because of past situations even tho that can make them worse.
May 13, 2009 12:58 PM CST controling partner
seekerofprincess
seekerofprincessseekerofprincessLondon, Ontario Canada2 Threads 50 Posts
dont say good morning to them! lol
May 13, 2009 1:38 PM CST controling partner
sensualintellect
sensualintellectsensualintellectTrent Hills, Ontario Canada35 Posts
suzey: What advise can you give to a "controling partner" to make them at ease?, "And to let them know that you are not like that other person, That they use to be with," That had hurt them ., (So they dont have to feel the need to have control in "your" relationship) ('')('')(''); ( awww tough one aye) look foreward to your relplys


There is absolutely nothing you can do, because it has nothing to do about you(it wouldn't matter who he was with), and everything about his weaknesses, so you have 2 choices get on the rollercoaster of everyday being under
suspicion for absolutely no reason, be willing to be tested daily and never succeed and never being able to prove your innocence, allowing him to slowly destroy your own identity until he morps you into his control, or get away, very far away very quickly.

You cannot change him nor will he ever be strong enough to have your best interests at heart if he stays the same, and only he can change that nothing you will do will help.

Best of luck
May 13, 2009 2:59 PM CST controling partner
KelownaMan
KelownaManKelownaManKelowna, British Columbia Canada1 Posts
suzey: What advise can you give to a "controling partner" to make them at ease?, "And to let them know that you are not like that other person, That they use to be with," That had hurt them ., (So they dont have to feel the need to have control in "your" relationship) ('')('')(''); ( awww tough one aye) look foreward to your relplys




If that person is jealous, then they have anger issues also. get rid of the jealousy and the anger also goes away. Controling people are habitual. It is those who feel that they need to control in order to hold on to what they have. It has nothing to do with their past treatment from others. They need to see their behavior as wrong and learn to recognize it in order to change their pattern. Stay away from Jealous people!
May 13, 2009 5:45 PM CST controling partner
tunzrok
tunzroktunzroklondon, Ontario Canada900 Posts
The controlling partner has issues that only that individual can change if they are willing No one should allow anyone person to control them whether a partner,friend,relative or co-worker
Most often it is ones insecurities that is the cause of the controlling behavior
Its a cop out blaming the past for ones behavior we live in the present or the moment not in the past
May 14, 2009 11:12 AM CST controling partner
suzey
suzeysuzeylondon, Ontario Canada2 Threads 31 Posts
hey thanks for your feed back appreciated
May 14, 2009 11:14 AM CST controling partner
suzey
suzeysuzeylondon, Ontario Canada2 Threads 31 Posts
thanks for your advice appreciated i will let them know
May 14, 2009 11:15 AM CST controling partner
suzey
suzeysuzeylondon, Ontario Canada2 Threads 31 Posts
lol thanks for your advice aye
seekerofprincess: dont say good morning to them! lol
May 14, 2009 11:20 AM CST controling partner
suzey
suzeysuzeylondon, Ontario Canada2 Threads 31 Posts
thanks for your advise aye
May 14, 2009 11:21 AM CST controling partner
suzey
suzeysuzeylondon, Ontario Canada2 Threads 31 Posts
thanks for the advice
May 14, 2009 11:23 AM CST controling partner
suzey
suzeysuzeylondon, Ontario Canada2 Threads 31 Posts
tunzrok: The controlling partner has issues that only that individual can change if they are willing No one should allow anyone person to control them whether a partner,friend,relative or co-worker
Most often it is ones insecurities that is the cause of the controlling behavior
Its a cop out blaming the past for ones behavior we live in the present or the moment not in the past
( hey thanks for your advice buddie)
May 14, 2009 11:42 AM CST controling partner
suzey
suzeysuzeylondon, Ontario Canada2 Threads 31 Posts
Thanks guys for helping appreciated aye suzey
In response to: What advise can you give to a "controling partner" to make them at ease?, "And to let them know that you are not like that other person, That they use to be with," That had hurt them ., (So they dont have to feel the need to have control in "your" relationship) ('')('')(''); ( awww tough one aye) look foreward to your relplys
Oct 13, 2009 1:10 AM CST controling partner
gordy22222
gordy22222gordy22222whitehorse, Yukon Territory Canada22 Threads 3 Polls 938 Posts
sure is nice to live in camp where there is only me to control and to be controled by me.. i thing i will yell at me tomorow,maybe. then my feelings will be hurt but then we can make up. both personalitys,,..i dont kno about you but i love me..i was going to delete this half way back then i decided to be a larger that life idiot today and so kept typing,, my idiot dog os outside barking at i dont kno. maybe a grizzley or a porkupine, he will get it figgered out soon i hope ,its anoying
Oct 13, 2009 9:01 AM CST controling partner
gussi
gussigussiVilters-Wangs, St Gallen Switzerland12 Threads 2 Polls 4,032 Posts
sensualintellect: There is absolutely nothing you can do, because it has nothing to do about you(it wouldn't matter who he was with), and everything about his weaknesses, so you have 2 choices get on the rollercoaster of everyday being under
suspicion for absolutely no reason, be willing to be tested daily and never succeed and never being able to prove your innocence, allowing him to slowly destroy your own identity until he morps you into his control, or get away, very far away very quickly.

You cannot change him nor will he ever be strong enough to have your best interests at heart if he stays the same, and only he can change that nothing you will do will help.

Best of luck


absolutely spot on this comment.

Suzey take note.

thumbs up thumbs up
Oct 13, 2009 9:06 AM CST controling partner
Readybake101
Readybake101Readybake101Dundurn, Saskatchewan Canada12 Threads 2 Polls 162 Posts
professor Controlling partners are the worst. Do not get hooked.
handshake
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by suzey (2 Threads)
Created: May 2009
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