controling partner (36)

Insecurity seems to breed this type of attitude. The answer is that there is nothing that you can do yourself it is them that needs to change.

I was involved with a guy who had been cheated on. He would check up on me on the computer, would come out to find where I was in town when I wasn't home. It was awful because I'd never done anything to make him think I was cheating or anything suspicious at all. He would call all the time etc. We tried counseling etc.

The best thing I did for myself was leave, he wasn't changing but only making me miserable. It was like walking on eggshells all the time as you didn't know how he would be. I'd be given things when he "thought" I was good. It honestly was one of the most depressing times in my life.

So my advice is don't go there in the first place. Its not worth the heartache and emotional roller coaster that they put you through.

Being a healthy person attracts a healthy person - I did that for myself and now hopefully I can attract better people into my life and spot the signs of those I need to avoid.

In most cases a controling partner also has issues outside the home as well, i.e.unable to establish good friendships outside the family and distrust of other people. This is a sign that there is some kind of emotional pain and usually scape goat others to hide these personal issues. On the other hand, one must admit and work on personal emotional problems in order to establish a mutually satisfying relationship. The problem of denial usually causes great stress for both partners and others. It's best not to be an enabler of dysfunctional relationships and take charge of your own life.

This was sure a good read.

""""well my father is a very controlling man, and every woman he has been with has left him, my sister lived with him and she left him too... so that is indeed a tough one to answer, perhaps if i got to know my dad a bit more i could find the answer to that, but usually up tight men are the way they are is because they were raised "too disciplined" or that they feel the need to be "overprotective".. what i would do is find a reverse phycological effect, find some way to lift the wait off his shoulders... i know, seems a bit too much of an effort doesnt it? """

On the kid's answer there
-- just curious what happened to your biological Mom?
I feel that maybe other women have hard time living up to her !!

That kid -- Hello -- it sucks to have Dad with other women coming and going -- bless your heart for posting --