Report threads that break rules, are offensive, or contain fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. click to
report forum abuse »
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
This is good - and I like the one about the magician on the cruise ship, too. D'you know it?
Here we go:
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place into his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off and froze.
When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a long vacation after his next big haul, then clicked the flashlight back on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so that he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you."
Totally rattled, he shone his flashlight around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
"Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.
"Yes," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I`m just trying to warn you."
The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who do you think you are anyway?"
"Moses," replied the parrot.
"Moses," the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would call a parrot Moses?"
Said the parrot, "The same kind of people that would call a Rottweiler Jesus."