its obvious but i want to get some other perspectives! ( Archived) (23)

Neh- I have suffered an abusive relationship with a man who is 'bi-polar or something', and his irrational and difficult behaviour has put a severe shadow over our lives (to put it mildly), and my now 8 year old daughter is psychologically in such bad shape that she is diagnosed as suicidal..

If your gut says: stay away,- then DO IT!!

Being fair is nice. But you have a responsibility towards your child, you are the parent after all, to protect him/her from harm.
This, though be it early, may already a decision call for you.

In my particular situation, I wish I hadnt had the urge to be 'fair' when she was born and let him in on our lives, even though I already knew what he is like..
Things got a lot worse after he knew he now had 'a hold over us'.


But putting all that aside: I dont see what the birth has got to do with the relationship.

Birthing is a female experience, the female body is who is having to be at peace and get it right. Whether he is there at birth or not, is ENTIRELY up to you.

It should not be mixed up with whether the relationship will continue in whatever way..

Superb advice.

You are right, the birth has nothing to do with the relationship will be like, in the end it is her decision.

This lady should ask herself these questions, however I do think he should have the opportunity to decide if she wants him there. At some point he must be aware that she is near her due date.

She will also, regardless of whether he is at the birth, have to tell him the child is born.

Or she can walk away and forget about him and live with her child. They are married, whatever his state of health, he is the father of that child, he could come back later and demand he sees the child. That can be more damaging.

Or he could not give a stuff, he didn't while she was pregnant. Who knows, I don't.

But I do think your post is excellent GT.

unsecured relationship,many people are in this kind of situation,now u are asking if u need him to come once u delivered your baby,open your eyes,if u have a good job and that man can support your baby,move on for sake of your kids,he can come and tell him that he have child..but i dont know about your real situation with him,a bit blurred ur explanation...but hope u can decide good for the future of your baby..

Sounds to me as though he is more by the way side......

My opinion is this, and it is just that, an opinion, but, I think you should at least let him know when you are going into labor. Regardless of his rights & wrongs in the marriage, he is still the father of the baby and has a right to be there when it is born.

~JMO~

Call him when you go into labor. It's his child.

The baby and the other woman are two separate issues.

We are only hearing one side to this story. What mental condition his girlfriend or he is in through your interpretation really does not pertain to your situation at hand nor the question of which you ask. Seems the girlfriend is always whacko and so is the cheating husband, according to the wife, in these predicaments.
To answer the question at hand the father does have the right to be thre for the birth of his child.

Love the new pic