Feeling broken hearted so wrote something ( Archived) (23)

Jun 12, 2009 8:57 PM CST Feeling broken hearted so wrote something
For those of you who have read and commented on what I have wrote in the past and if you have time please read my new poem it is sad but as most of my writing has hope in it too. Am not trying to be a downer but it's my voice to all of you and if anyone connects with anything in it cool.
Thanks for your time.
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Jun 12, 2009 8:57 PM CST Feeling broken hearted so wrote something
It's very new and named Stripped Bare to the Soul.
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Jun 12, 2009 8:58 PM CST Feeling broken hearted so wrote something
Tater
TaterTaterspringfield, Illinois USA45 Threads 3 Polls 3,326 Posts
UUUUUUUUUUmmmmmmmmmmmmm...dunno it seems kinda short..dunno

where is it???
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Jun 12, 2009 8:59 PM CST Feeling broken hearted so wrote something
SexualVixen
SexualVixenSexualVixenSomewhere, Florida USA2 Threads 40 Posts
Post it here Dawn so we don't have to go "trasping" all over this site to find it.
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Jun 12, 2009 9:00 PM CST Feeling broken hearted so wrote something
Sorry Tater it's under the poetry section. I didn't feel comfortable just putting it up but wanted to tell you all about it.
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Jun 12, 2009 9:01 PM CST Feeling broken hearted so wrote something
In response to: For those of you who have read and commented on what I have wrote in the past and if you have time please read my new poem it is sad but as most of my writing has hope in it too. Am not trying to be a downer but it's my voice to all of you and if anyone connects with anything in it cool.
Thanks for your time.



Okay here it is.





All around you witness
people's lives
stripped to their souls
their anguish showing through
as they have courage to carry on
most that is
except for those souls
who take their own release from this existence
and end it on their own

Stuck in the middle am I of old and young
my share of sorrows and yes of course
great joy
on Earth this place I call home
looking at the young so full of energy
full of struggle to understand
when life sometimes
hits them square in the eyes

A mother of three
a friend of my sister Angie
going about making her life
and loving her family
went for a checkup
found out she had cancer
and died that night

I am not trying to get you down
dear people
for there is many wonders in life
and we all have hope for our
tomorrows
waiting to see what's around the bend
what's up ahead it keeps us moving
forward with expectation
hoping we can figure it out
and loving our lives
what incredible strength we have to endure this life

Time will take its toll on me
maiden, mother and crone
as the papery skin and hunch of my shoulders
the slowness of my gait
and lack of hearing
rends the physical curtain
in two
That is if I am that lucky to become
old and frail lol

As the body nears it's end
It's as if something new will take hold
the core essence will shine
I will be stripped bare to my
soul
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Jun 12, 2009 9:02 PM CST Feeling broken hearted so wrote something
In response to: For those of you who have read and commented on what I have wrote in the past and if you have time please read my new poem it is sad but as most of my writing has hope in it too. Am not trying to be a downer but it's my voice to all of you and if anyone connects with anything in it cool.
Thanks for your time.



This is for Garret he died this last week at age 21 of an accidental gunshot wound. This is the only way I can deal with this stuff is to write it and put it out there.
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Jun 12, 2009 9:03 PM CST Feeling broken hearted so wrote something
Tater
TaterTaterspringfield, Illinois USA45 Threads 3 Polls 3,326 Posts
It was nice...thumbs up but more like a story then a poem to me...cheers
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Jun 12, 2009 9:04 PM CST Feeling broken hearted so wrote something
Tater
TaterTaterspringfield, Illinois USA45 Threads 3 Polls 3,326 Posts
Dawn7z: This is for Garret he died this last week at age 21 of an accidental gunshot wound. This is the only way I can deal with this stuff is to write it and put it out there.
comfort sad flower sorry to hear about that...
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Jun 12, 2009 9:04 PM CST Feeling broken hearted so wrote something
Tater: It was nice... but more like a story then a poem to me...


That's cool. Thanks Tater for taking time to read.
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Jun 12, 2009 9:05 PM CST Feeling broken hearted so wrote something
Big_John
Big_JohnBig_JohnOcean Springs, Mississippi USA19 Threads 9,767 Posts
It shows both sadness and hope within the poem. You brought us from the despair of the lost to your hope of the future. I like it!
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Jun 12, 2009 9:06 PM CST Feeling broken hearted so wrote something
bestat45
bestat45bestat45saint john, New Brunswick Canada8 Threads 1,169 Posts
sorry to hear the reason you wrote your poem, but, it is a nice poem anyhow. valid way to deal with your losssad flower
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Jun 12, 2009 9:06 PM CST Feeling broken hearted so wrote something
virgiomonkey
virgiomonkeyvirgiomonkeyAuckland, New Zealand4,241 Posts
.............comfort hug sad flower sad flower

J.D
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Jun 12, 2009 9:06 PM CST Feeling broken hearted so wrote something
Shirley49WV
Shirley49WVShirley49WVMason, West Virginia USA27 Threads 2,449 Posts
Dawn7z: This is for Garret he died this last week at age 21 of an accidental gunshot wound. This is the only way I can deal with this stuff is to write it and put it out there.


Very sad and moving comfort
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Jun 12, 2009 9:11 PM CST Feeling broken hearted so wrote something
jvaski
jvaskijvaskiunknown, California USA115 Threads 11 Polls 9,576 Posts
Dawn7z: This is for Garret he died this last week at age 21 of an accidental gunshot wound. This is the only way I can deal with this stuff is to write it and put it out there.


Here's to Garret, May he swing through the clouds and dance on the sunlight rays !
That is tragic Dawn, very sorry to hear that .
It seems alot of heart wrenching things are happening lately.
Makes one wonder if we're going though a planet-alignment mess.
Goos wishes for his family. wine
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Jun 12, 2009 9:14 PM CST Feeling broken hearted so wrote something
Laura25
Laura25Laura25Somewhere, New York USA50 Threads 6 Polls 8,178 Posts
Sadness and hope.

Just like life.

sad flower (((Dawn)))
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Jun 12, 2009 9:19 PM CST Feeling broken hearted so wrote something
In response to: For those of you who have read and commented on what I have wrote in the past and if you have time please read my new poem it is sad but as most of my writing has hope in it too. Am not trying to be a downer but it's my voice to all of you and if anyone connects with anything in it cool.
Thanks for your time.


Thanks all yes I have noticed the sadness all around but then again we or I start wondering if I am just focusing on the negative. The fact that we can feel for people so deeply that we haven't met that the loss ripples out and touches our humanity and reminds us all of our mortality. In that we remember the preciousness of our lives therein lies the hope.
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Jun 12, 2009 9:19 PM CST Feeling broken hearted so wrote something
Galactic_bodhi
Galactic_bodhiGalactic_bodhiAkron, Ohio USA609 Threads 1 Polls 9,196 Posts
A poem is anything that is written. The difference between prose and poetry is a fine line based on rhythm, tonality, and imagery. Just because it has stanza's doesn't make it poetry, and if its a very powerful, evocative paragraph, its not prose, its poetry in a prose costume.

Some poems do tell stories. Some of them very sad. I'm sorry to hear about your loss, Dawn. comfort hug
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Jun 12, 2009 9:20 PM CST Feeling broken hearted so wrote something
RobertC2
RobertC2RobertC2Xaghra, Gozo, Gozo Malta91 Threads 8 Polls 8,344 Posts
Dawn7z:

That's cool. Thanks Tater for taking time to read.


I enjoyed reading it.

I just lost somebody very dear to me....... I found reading your poem strangely 'comforting'.

Thanks.
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Jun 12, 2009 9:22 PM CST Feeling broken hearted so wrote something
druidess6308
druidess6308druidess6308Aliquippa, Pennsylvania USA79 Threads 13,695 Posts
Dawn7z: This is for Garret he died this last week at age 21 of an accidental gunshot wound. This is the only way I can deal with this stuff is to write it and put it out there.
I'm sorry for your loss, Dawn. hug comfort

But yes, writing poetry is a good way to deal with your feelings. I liked this poem, it had despair, but also hope. It was a beautiful tribute.

bouquet
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