Has this ever happened to you? (81)
I'm still there but,I'm finally free
to be me,to enjoy,to laugh but most
of all to express me.
to be me,to enjoy,to laugh but most
of all to express me.
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sweetowen: I had a date with a fantastic guy on Saturday night. I'd met him on another site. I laughed until tears were streaming down my cheeks. He was very handsome. He drove quite a distance to see me. And he was totally into me.
Unfortunately, I'm still not over my last boyfriend. I felt so bad, but I can't help my feelings. I hate this being in limbo!! I explained this to him this morning &, although he initially was a bit upset, he's being very understanding & is still talking to me.
I thought it'd be easy to get over the last one. But I'd fallen pretty hard for him. And he really hasn't given me complete closure. He never just said, "I don't think we should see each other anymore." He just told me I need to back off a little bit.
His band was playing at the casino where my date & I went. Not good. It just brought back all my old feelings for him. And it wasn't fair to my date either, although I did tell him about him.
Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever tried to move on, but couldn't? Have you ever been caught in 'limbo'?
Unfortunately, I'm still not over my last boyfriend. I felt so bad, but I can't help my feelings. I hate this being in limbo!! I explained this to him this morning &, although he initially was a bit upset, he's being very understanding & is still talking to me.
I thought it'd be easy to get over the last one. But I'd fallen pretty hard for him. And he really hasn't given me complete closure. He never just said, "I don't think we should see each other anymore." He just told me I need to back off a little bit.
His band was playing at the casino where my date & I went. Not good. It just brought back all my old feelings for him. And it wasn't fair to my date either, although I did tell him about him.
Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever tried to move on, but couldn't? Have you ever been caught in 'limbo'?
Hi, Sweet...
Yes, it has..
When I separated from my husband, I jumped straight back into the dating scene to try and occupy my mind, and, if Im perfectly honest, to raise my self esteem again.
I went on date after date, some good some not so good - as is normal.
Nothing seemed right, even though I was generally treated very well. It suddenly dawned on me that I was still mourning the loss of my marriage and relationship, and I was never going to able to move on and date someone else until I had gone through that bereavement process.
Being in Dating Limbo is like being stuck in mud. Feels quite good, but goes nowhere...
Taking a step back, even if you are lonely, is definately the best way to go..
JMO
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Sorry to hear of your situation. Hope you figure it out, and can move on someday.
I stay in "limbo"...it's good for the circulatory system.
Just hang in there, time will heal your heart.
I stay in "limbo"...it's good for the circulatory system.
Just hang in there, time will heal your heart.
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sweetowen: I had a date with a fantastic guy on Saturday night. I'd met him on another site. I laughed until tears were streaming down my cheeks. He was very handsome. He drove quite a distance to see me. And he was totally into me.
Unfortunately, I'm still not over my last boyfriend. I felt so bad, but I can't help my feelings. I hate this being in limbo!! I explained this to him this morning &, although he initially was a bit upset, he's being very understanding & is still talking to me.
I thought it'd be easy to get over the last one. But I'd fallen pretty hard for him. And he really hasn't given me complete closure. He never just said, "I don't think we should see each other anymore." He just told me I need to back off a little bit.
His band was playing at the casino where my date & I went. Not good. It just brought back all my old feelings for him. And it wasn't fair to my date either, although I did tell him about him.
Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever tried to move on, but couldn't? Have you ever been caught in 'limbo'?
Oh bless you Owen. Unfortunately, I'm still not over my last boyfriend. I felt so bad, but I can't help my feelings. I hate this being in limbo!! I explained this to him this morning &, although he initially was a bit upset, he's being very understanding & is still talking to me.
I thought it'd be easy to get over the last one. But I'd fallen pretty hard for him. And he really hasn't given me complete closure. He never just said, "I don't think we should see each other anymore." He just told me I need to back off a little bit.
His band was playing at the casino where my date & I went. Not good. It just brought back all my old feelings for him. And it wasn't fair to my date either, although I did tell him about him.
Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever tried to move on, but couldn't? Have you ever been caught in 'limbo'?
Yes I have. When I was with my partner after launching into a relationship with him after my husband. I did not realise it at the time it was only when it was over that I realised I was recovering from two relationships. This time I remained alone for nearly two years until I met PPV. I knew I had to recover before I could consider moving on because I recognised the signs from the odd date I had with one man a couple of times and I was feeling exactly like you were and I knew it was not fair on him or me.
The good thing is Owen that this latest gent is still talking with you and you never know, it could grow into something that becomes big and he may be intrumental in your recovery if that is what he wants to do. The only thing you can do is to avoid situations where you will find yourself having those memories dragged up and rearing and reminding you. YOu are human and give yourself some time. Like me with PPV, I could not bring myself to go to Paris with him, simply because of the memories and the sadness it would bring to me, but that is not because I am hankering after my ex, it is simply because it was a special time for us and I cannot confuse my own mind. My man understands this and there are many other places we can travel to and have our own special times. Just from what you have written he sounds like a nice man, don't push him away because of this, if he wants to continue and be patient, he will take his time and you may find something there. All what you are feeling is normal. I know.
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Sommerauer71: Oh bless you Owen.
Yes I have. When I was with my partner after launching into a relationship with him after my husband. I did not realise it at the time it was only when it was over that I realised I was recovering from two relationships. This time I remained alone for nearly two years until I met PPV. I knew I had to recover before I could consider moving on because I recognised the signs from the odd date I had with one man a couple of times and I was feeling exactly like you were and I knew it was not fair on him or me.
The good thing is Owen that this latest gent is still talking with you and you never know, it could grow into something that becomes big and he may be intrumental in your recovery if that is what he wants to do. The only thing you can do is to avoid situations where you will find yourself having those memories dragged up and rearing and reminding you. YOu are human and give yourself some time. Like me with PPV, I could not bring myself to go to Paris with him, simply because of the memories and the sadness it would bring to me, but that is not because I am hankering after my ex, it is simply because it was a special time for us and I cannot confuse my own mind. My man understands this and there are many other places we can travel to and have our own special times. Just from what you have written he sounds like a nice man, don't push him away because of this, if he wants to continue and be patient, he will take his time and you may find something there. All what you are feeling is normal. I know.
Yes I have. When I was with my partner after launching into a relationship with him after my husband. I did not realise it at the time it was only when it was over that I realised I was recovering from two relationships. This time I remained alone for nearly two years until I met PPV. I knew I had to recover before I could consider moving on because I recognised the signs from the odd date I had with one man a couple of times and I was feeling exactly like you were and I knew it was not fair on him or me.
The good thing is Owen that this latest gent is still talking with you and you never know, it could grow into something that becomes big and he may be intrumental in your recovery if that is what he wants to do. The only thing you can do is to avoid situations where you will find yourself having those memories dragged up and rearing and reminding you. YOu are human and give yourself some time. Like me with PPV, I could not bring myself to go to Paris with him, simply because of the memories and the sadness it would bring to me, but that is not because I am hankering after my ex, it is simply because it was a special time for us and I cannot confuse my own mind. My man understands this and there are many other places we can travel to and have our own special times. Just from what you have written he sounds like a nice man, don't push him away because of this, if he wants to continue and be patient, he will take his time and you may find something there. All what you are feeling is normal. I know.
Good post, Sommer..
Yes, I agree with the locations..avoid, if you can, places where you went with your ex, experiences you shared together and anything that will remind you of him, or bring you into contact with him.
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Polarbutterfly: I'm still there but,I'm finally free
to be me,to enjoy,to laugh but most
of all to express me.
to be me,to enjoy,to laugh but most
of all to express me.
It's hard when you have to cut the strings
to the person who you thought was the "one".
Without enduring this experience,you never
learn,your eyes are never really open to see
what truly is there or,what never was.
Anywho,life is too short to have the petals
of a flower whither away.
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Both of you have a very good point. And in the future, I'll do that. But we'd spoken on the phone & were talking about gambling & casinos & such. We decided to be spontaneous & go to the casino. After I hung up, I remembered that my old b/f's band would likely be playing there. I figured I'd be fine & just avoid him. Unfortunately, the waitresses at this casino stink. So the only bar to go for drinks was right at the stage where the band was playing. They were on break & I figured we'd be gone before they got back onstage. Not the case... they came out while we were still standing in line. We got our drinks & I made a b-line out of there.
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petalbabe: Good post, Sommer..
Yes, I agree with the locations..avoid, if you can, places where you went with your ex, experiences you shared together and anything that will remind you of him, or bring you into contact with him.
While those memories are special I think we have to remember that while still raw then they will upset us. You know don't you Petal, when you are ready to move on, because the memories remain pleasant but not too painful and there are always special times that should remain that and not try to be removed by taking another there. I know that PPV had special places with his ex, I would not want to encroach on those with him and try to make it different for him. I would not go with him to Paris, only unless I could lay that final ghost to rest, we have not tried it and have no overwhelming desire to at this moment in time. Only because of our lovely Owen's post that I thought of it. Yes, I agree with the locations..avoid, if you can, places where you went with your ex, experiences you shared together and anything that will remind you of him, or bring you into contact with him.
Owen, you will get there, I am certain of it.
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sweetowen: Both of you have a very good point. And in the future, I'll do that. But we'd spoken on the phone & were talking about gambling & casinos & such. We decided to be spontaneous & go to the casino. After I hung up, I remembered that my old b/f's band would likely be playing there. I figured I'd be fine & just avoid him. Unfortunately, the waitresses at this casino stink. So the only bar to go for drinks was right at the stage where the band was playing. They were on break & I figured we'd be gone before they got back onstage. Not the case... they came out while we were still standing in line. We got our drinks & I made a b-line out of there.
I can understand that Owen and honestly, it is normal. But don't cut your nose off to spite your face, and completely isolate yourself from everything while you recover. You will know when you feel ready to confront this and if with another person who loves you and understands then it will be a great weight lifted from your shoulders. Major league hugs to you in this because I know and Petal too from what she has written how hard it can be.
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Sommerauer71: While those memories are special I think we have to remember that while still raw then they will upset us. You know don't you Petal, when you are ready to move on, because the memories remain pleasant but not too painful and there are always special times that should remain that and not try to be removed by taking another there. I know that PPV had special places with his ex, I would not want to encroach on those with him and try to make it different for him. I would not go with him to Paris, only unless I could lay that final ghost to rest, we have not tried it and have no overwhelming desire to at this moment in time. Only because of our lovely Owen's post that I thought of it.
Owen, you will get there, I am certain of it.
Owen, you will get there, I am certain of it.
Thanks so much Sommer. I just wish he'd have given me full closure, gotten angry or something. Without having that, I still have hope, you know?
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Sommerauer71: While those memories are special I think we have to remember that while still raw then they will upset us. You know don't you Petal, when you are ready to move on, because the memories remain pleasant but not too painful and there are always special times that should remain that and not try to be removed by taking another there. I know that PPV had special places with his ex, I would not want to encroach on those with him and try to make it different for him. I would not go with him to Paris, only unless I could lay that final ghost to rest, we have not tried it and have no overwhelming desire to at this moment in time. Only because of our lovely Owen's post that I thought of it.
Owen, you will get there, I am certain of it.
Owen, you will get there, I am certain of it.
Again, agree..
Treasure those memories from your ex, but only after you are in a place mentally where you can think on them without upset or hurt..
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Sommerauer71: I can understand that Owen and honestly, it is normal. But don't cut your nose off to spite your face, and completely isolate yourself from everything while you recover. You will know when you feel ready to confront this and if with another person who loves you and understands then it will be a great weight lifted from your shoulders. Major league hugs to you in this because I know and Petal too from what she has written how hard it can be.
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sweetowen: Thanks so much Sommer. I just wish he'd have given me full closure, gotten angry or something. Without having that, I still have hope, you know?
Don't give that thought too much airtime Owen! Wasting your precious time on wishing he would have said or done something that he has not will get you nowhere. I know that is hard, but it will not change a thing. My advice anyway. I know that sometimes it is hard when you have nothing to hold onto and no reason but you will drive yourself nuts if you do.------ This thread is Archived ------
Sommerauer71: I can understand that Owen and honestly, it is normal. But don't cut your nose off to spite your face, and completely isolate yourself from everything while you recover. You will know when you feel ready to confront this and if with another person who loves you and understands then it will be a great weight lifted from your shoulders. Major league hugs to you in this because I know and Petal too from what she has written how hard it can be.
I hate to admit it, but the flood gates still open over this guy. We weren't dating that long, but his attentiveness & being so 'into' me were what made me fall so hard. And it's just hard to accept that it's completely over. But I have to do that.
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sweetowen: I had a date with a fantastic guy on Saturday night. I'd met him on another site. I laughed until tears were streaming down my cheeks. He was very handsome. He drove quite a distance to see me. And he was totally into me.
Unfortunately, I'm still not over my last boyfriend. I felt so bad, but I can't help my feelings. I hate this being in limbo!! I explained this to him this morning &, although he initially was a bit upset, he's being very understanding & is still talking to me.
I thought it'd be easy to get over the last one. But I'd fallen pretty hard for him. And he really hasn't given me complete closure. He never just said, "I don't think we should see each other anymore." He just told me I need to back off a little bit.
His band was playing at the casino where my date & I went. Not good. It just brought back all my old feelings for him. And it wasn't fair to my date either, although I did tell him about him.
Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever tried to move on, but couldn't? Have you ever been caught in 'limbo'?
Unfortunately, I'm still not over my last boyfriend. I felt so bad, but I can't help my feelings. I hate this being in limbo!! I explained this to him this morning &, although he initially was a bit upset, he's being very understanding & is still talking to me.
I thought it'd be easy to get over the last one. But I'd fallen pretty hard for him. And he really hasn't given me complete closure. He never just said, "I don't think we should see each other anymore." He just told me I need to back off a little bit.
His band was playing at the casino where my date & I went. Not good. It just brought back all my old feelings for him. And it wasn't fair to my date either, although I did tell him about him.
Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever tried to move on, but couldn't? Have you ever been caught in 'limbo'?
Yes but long time back. Told him about it, but he was very understanding, told him i wanted time to heal, he gave me that and my space. THough we didn't go on more dates, but he called now and then to see how i was doing and helped me alot.
Sweety, he knows how u feel, and he is being understanding about it, don't let your feeling get into your new relationship. I know u love your "ex". don't know how long he has been backing off. but if i was in your position, i would just give the new guy a chance.
Good luck
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sweetowen: I hate to admit it, but the flood gates still open over this guy. We weren't dating that long, but his attentiveness & being so 'into' me were what made me fall so hard. And it's just hard to accept that it's completely over. But I have to do that.
Sweets, I will be honest here, because I care about you..
I think you need a DECENT period of being on your own, and not dating even..
Try and concentrate on YOU. Please...
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sweetowen: I hate to admit it, but the flood gates still open over this guy. We weren't dating that long, but his attentiveness & being so 'into' me were what made me fall so hard. And it's just hard to accept that it's completely over. But I have to do that.
Of course they do, I cried for a solid year over my last partner. Then one day I woke up and the pillow was dry! I cleaned the loo with his toothbrush that I found in a cupboard and I knew I was on the road to healing. While my life continued I avoided everyone that knew us both and sometimes I can be a solitary character and shut myself away and deal with things in that manner and only then can I begin to see clearly. I could not wear jewellry, not look at pictures that I had without breaking down, how the hell I managed to teach and work was beyond me but I did. You will get to that point, you are recovering, it is not silly or daft, it is normal and you are being honest. You have to yes, but there is no rush is there. And one day you will wake up like I did and sing along to this wiping away those tears. For you.
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whaaat: Yes but long time back. Told him about it, but he was very understanding, told him i wanted time to heal, he gave me that and my space. THough we didn't go on more dates, but he called now and then to see how i was doing and helped me alot.
Sweety, he knows how u feel, and he is being understanding about it, don't let your feeling get into your new relationship. I know u love your "ex". don't know how long he has been backing off. but if i was in your position, i would just give the new guy a chance.
Good luck
Hi there Whaaat, sometimes even when we think that a new partner will make it all okay they can become a good friend in supporting us.Sweety, he knows how u feel, and he is being understanding about it, don't let your feeling get into your new relationship. I know u love your "ex". don't know how long he has been backing off. but if i was in your position, i would just give the new guy a chance.
Good luck
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Sommerauer71: Of course they do, I cried for a solid year over my last partner. Then one day I woke up and the pillow was dry! I cleaned the loo with his toothbrush that I found in a cupboard and I knew I was on the road to healing. While my life continued I avoided everyone that knew us both and sometimes I can be a solitary character and shut myself away and deal with things in that manner and only then can I begin to see clearly. I could not wear jewellry, not look at pictures that I had without breaking down, how the hell I managed to teach and work was beyond me but I did. You will get to that point, you are recovering, it is not silly or daft, it is normal and you are being honest. You have to yes, but there is no rush is there.
And one day you will wake up like I did and sing along to this wiping away those tears. For you.
And one day you will wake up like I did and sing along to this wiping away those tears. For you.
Thanks Sommer! I love that song!!
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Created: Jun 2009
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Unfortunately, I'm still not over my last boyfriend. I felt so bad, but I can't help my feelings. I hate this being in limbo!! I explained this to him this morning &, although he initially was a bit upset, he's being very understanding & is still talking to me.
I thought it'd be easy to get over the last one. But I'd fallen pretty hard for him. And he really hasn't given me complete closure. He never just said, "I don't think we should see each other anymore." He just told me I need to back off a little bit.
His band was playing at the casino where my date & I went. Not good. It just brought back all my old feelings for him. And it wasn't fair to my date either, although I did tell him about him.
Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever tried to move on, but couldn't? Have you ever been caught in 'limbo'?