Laughter (8)
runner1958Treherne, Manitoba Canada4 Threads 54 PostsSteve and Fred went to the fair. They came across a bronco machine. Nobody has managed to stay on for the full three minutes yet. And there's a prize of $1000 for anybody who can. ""Watch this," said Steve and climbed aboard the bronco machine. The machine thrashed wildly, up and down, from side to side, around in circles but still a grim-faced Steve clung to its back. After two minutes the machine was bucking almost vertically and spinning until Fred was a blur. But when the three minutes were up Steve was still on the machine's back acknowledging the cheers and cries from the small crowd. He dismounted, collected his winnings and rejoined Fred. "Where in hell did you learn to ride a bucking bronco like that!?" Fred asked. "Remember three months ago," Steve said... "When your wife had whooping cough...?"
oh...
Giddy up Kim
A young boy had just received his driver's permit and asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he would make a deal with his son. "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, get your hair cut and we'll talk about the car." The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer And they agreed on it. After about six weeks his father said, "Son, I've been real proud. You brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm real disappointed you didn't get your hair cut." The young man paused a moment then said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, and Moses had long hair. And there's even a strong argument that Jesus had long hair." To this his father replied, "Did you also notice that they all walked everywhere they went?"
Sore feet and all
One day this Irish-Newfie moved from Newfoundland to Ontario. After a month had passed the Irish-Newfie decided to go for a drive. As soon as he hit the Q.E.W. he took off like a bat out of hell. He flew from St. Kits heading towards Toronto driving as fast as his Volvo would go. As he started to pass Stoney Creek an O.P.P. started chasing him. It was a race to see if the O.P.P. could catch him before he got to the Skyway bridge. The Irish-Newfie was pushing his Volvo to the limit as he reached the top of the bridge. From the top of the bridge he could see about four cruisers stopped near the Appleby Line in Burlington. As he approached the highway 10 cutoff, he suddenly swearved left towards London. The O.P.P. radioed for more help. As the Irish-Newfie got close to London, he was finally pulled over. One of the O.P.P. officers walked up to his car and asked him what he thought he was doing. The Irish-Newfie replied, " A month ago I moved here from Newfoundland and had to wait for the ministry to change my licence to an Ontario licence, and I just got it today". The officer asked him what that had to do with the way he was driving, to which he explained, " I'm just doing what the ministry says I have to do". The cop asked the Irish-Newfie to show him where it says to drive like an idiot. The Irish-Newfie pulled out his newly accuired Ontario drivers licence, pointed to it and said, " See, right here, it says, Tear Along Dotted Line".
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