New sign ( Archived) (9)

Jul 11, 2009 8:06 PM CST New sign
desmond
desmonddesmondkissimmee, Florida USA375 Threads 10,888 Posts
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines, enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts."
"After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed.
Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."

MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.


FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with
the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
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Jul 11, 2009 8:10 PM CST New sign
amahlala
amahlalaamahlalaAberdeen, South Dakota USA21 Threads 8,314 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing
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Jul 11, 2009 8:13 PM CST New sign
You are so wrong for this!

scold

laugh
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Jul 11, 2009 8:14 PM CST New sign
desmond
desmonddesmondkissimmee, Florida USA375 Threads 10,888 Posts
azucarmorena: You are so wrong for this!




I am innocent innocent


rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Jul 11, 2009 8:15 PM CST New sign
sultryash
sultryashsultryashBridgetown, Saint Michael Barbados36 Threads 3,203 Posts
desmond: A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines, enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts."
"After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed.
Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."

MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.FEMALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with
the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.



Des you gonna pay !!!scold scold grin
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Jul 11, 2009 8:17 PM CST New sign
Bentlee
BentleeBentleeSmith Falls, Ontario Canada44 Threads 4 Polls 874 Posts
What Your favourite colour life saver lol. Cheers thats funny. :)
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Jul 11, 2009 8:19 PM CST New sign
desmond
desmonddesmondkissimmee, Florida USA375 Threads 10,888 Posts
sultryash: Des you gonna pay !!!




tongue I be waiting grin laugh laugh
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Jul 11, 2009 8:19 PM CST New sign
sultryash
sultryashsultryashBridgetown, Saint Michael Barbados36 Threads 3,203 Posts
desmond: I be waiting



thats funny rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Jul 11, 2009 8:23 PM CST New sign
trisha8609
trisha8609trisha8609McDonald, Pennsylvania USA1 Threads 13 Posts
too funny, but only true for some women...the only problem i have is my truck sits too high that i cant reach the damn machine when i pull up to it!!! haharolling on the floor laughing
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by desmond (375 Threads)
Created: Jul 2009
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