How do I tell him? (45)
sweetowenSomewhere, Pennsylvania USA289 Threads 5 Polls 8,850 PostsI met a really nice guy a little over a month ago. We've talked on the phone, texted, IMed, & emalied several times. He's even traveled quite a distance twice to come see me. I enjoy talking to him & have fun with him. However, the feeling's just not there for him. How do I tell him this without making him angry? He's told me several times that he really likes me. And I want to like him because he's so nice. But if I'm not feeling it, there's not much I can do about it. I can't force myself to feel something that doesn't exist. What can I do?
------ This thread is Archived ------
Chemistry isn't something you can force so You already know what you have to do -- be honest and direct - it's not easy to do this but you also shouldn't let it drag on - if you can't do it in person, you should do it over the phone - I wouldn't choose doing it in an email or text.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Charli15695: Chemistry isn't something you can force so You already know what you have to do -- be honest and direct - it's not easy to do this but you also shouldn't let it drag on - if you can't do it in person, you should do it over the phone - I wouldn't choose doing it in an email or text.
.i think you just told him?unless u didnt meet him here?
------ This thread is Archived ------
chococherrie78: .
i think you just told him?unless u didnt meet him here?
i think you just told him?unless u didnt meet him here?
No, I met him on another site. I wouldn't post this on a site where he might see it.
------ This thread is Archived ------
I feel for you because genuine people do not deliberately set out to hurt someone and try to give things a fair crack of the whip.
You owe it to both of you to be blunt and simply tell him your just not feeling it about him.
It will not take long before you can look yourself in the mirror again because neither of you have done anyting wrong except for give it a try.
The alternative of trying is eternal singledom.
You owe it to both of you to be blunt and simply tell him your just not feeling it about him.
It will not take long before you can look yourself in the mirror again because neither of you have done anyting wrong except for give it a try.
The alternative of trying is eternal singledom.
------ This thread is Archived ------
In response to: I met a really nice guy a little over a month ago. We've talked on the phone, texted, IMed, & emalied several times. He's even traveled quite a distance twice to come see me. I enjoy talking to him & have fun with him. However, the feeling's just not there for him. How do I tell him this without making him angry? He's told me several times that he really likes me. And I want to like him because he's so nice. But if I'm not feeling it, there's not much I can do about it. I can't force myself to feel something that doesn't exist. What can I do?
Owen, nothing else for it, you have to tell him. Don't make it such a big deal with him though, just tell him. 'I'm sorry, I don't want to do this any longer' And do it soon, none of that 'I want to like him' and feeling guilty about hurting him, he'll survive.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Sommerauer71: Owen, nothing else for it, you have to tell him. Don't make it such a big deal with him though, just tell him.
'I'm sorry, I don't want to do this any longer' And do it soon, none of that 'I want to like him' and feeling guilty about hurting him, he'll survive.
'I'm sorry, I don't want to do this any longer' And do it soon, none of that 'I want to like him' and feeling guilty about hurting him, he'll survive.
You're right. I'd just like to remain friends with him. I guess if we can't be though, what's the big deal, right? I mean after all, I wasn't friends with him previous to this.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Call him up and tell him you met this fantastic, good lookin', romantic southern gentleman and that you just can't like him because he is a yankee who doesn't eat grits.
If that doesn't work, tell him you are pregant and that it isn't his.
Maybe you could tell him you need a man who lives closer.
Or you could go silent on him.
If that doesn't work, tell him you are pregant and that it isn't his.
Maybe you could tell him you need a man who lives closer.
Or you could go silent on him.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Sommerauer71: Owen, nothing else for it, you have to tell him. Don't make it such a big deal with him though, just tell him.
'I'm sorry, I don't want to do this any longer' And do it soon, none of that 'I want to like him' and feeling guilty about hurting him, he'll survive.
'I'm sorry, I don't want to do this any longer' And do it soon, none of that 'I want to like him' and feeling guilty about hurting him, he'll survive.
I agree
dont string him along you have the bite the bullet and tell him
Leaving it will only make him angry
tell him and now girl
------ This thread is Archived ------
sweetowen: You're right. I'd just like to remain friends with him. I guess if we can't be though, what's the big deal, right? I mean after all, I wasn't friends with him previous to this.
Don't worry too much about the friends bit Owen, get sorted out with how you are feeling first, if the friendship means anything, it will withstand this.------ This thread is Archived ------
Sommerauer71: Don't worry too much about the friends bit Owen, get sorted out with how you are feeling first, if the friendship means anything, it will withstand this.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Sommerauer71: Owen, nothing else for it, you have to tell him. Don't make it such a big deal with him though, just tell him.
'I'm sorry, I don't want to do this any longer' And do it soon, none of that 'I want to like him' and feeling guilty about hurting him, he'll survive.
'I'm sorry, I don't want to do this any longer' And do it soon, none of that 'I want to like him' and feeling guilty about hurting him, he'll survive.
sweetowen: You're right. I'd just like to remain friends with him. I guess if we can't be though, what's the big deal, right? I mean after all, I wasn't friends with him previous to this.
Thank you, these two posts just helped me. I'm in the same situation, except he only lives an hour away. Around here, that's nothing. Like you, Owen, I'd like to remain friends with him, but I'm not feeling anything more. I've tried to, but it's just not there.
------ This thread is Archived ------
When I´m in a situation and not sure how to handle it I "put the shoe on the other foot" and think about how I would like someone to handle the same situation with me...
I can honestly say that I would rather someone be direct and honest rather than be with me and only going through the motions... not much satisfaction in that for either party.
I can honestly say that I would rather someone be direct and honest rather than be with me and only going through the motions... not much satisfaction in that for either party.
------ This thread is Archived ------
sweetowen: I met a really nice guy a little over a month ago. We've talked on the phone, texted, IMed, & emalied several times. He's even traveled quite a distance twice to come see me. I enjoy talking to him & have fun with him. However, the feeling's just not there for him. How do I tell him this without making him angry? He's told me several times that he really likes me. And I want to like him because he's so nice. But if I'm not feeling it, there's not much I can do about it. I can't force myself to feel something that doesn't exist. What can I do?
ok here is a perfect plan
you sleep with him a cuple of time... and after that you tel him you had better... he will run like hell
------ This thread is Archived ------
ContraryCol: I feel for you because genuine people do not deliberately set out to hurt someone and try to give things a fair crack of the whip.
You owe it to both of you to be blunt and simply tell him your just not feeling it about him.
It will not take long before you can look yourself in the mirror again because neither of you have done anyting wrong except for give it a try.
The alternative of trying is eternal singledom.
You owe it to both of you to be blunt and simply tell him your just not feeling it about him.
It will not take long before you can look yourself in the mirror again because neither of you have done anyting wrong except for give it a try.
The alternative of trying is eternal singledom.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Big_John: Call him up and tell him you met this fantastic, good lookin', romantic southern gentleman and that you just can't like him because he is a yankee who doesn't eat grits.
If that doesn't work, tell him you are pregant and that it isn't his.
Maybe you could tell him you need a man who lives closer.
Or you could go silent on him.
If that doesn't work, tell him you are pregant and that it isn't his.
Maybe you could tell him you need a man who lives closer.
Or you could go silent on him.
------ This thread is Archived ------
druidess6308: Thank you, these two posts just helped me. I'm in the same situation, except he only lives an hour away. Around here, that's nothing. Like you, Owen, I'd like to remain friends with him, but I'm not feeling anything more. I've tried to, but it's just not there.
As I told Owen, Dru and I concur with JB, here, how would you like it to be done? The wanting to be friends bit, is the one that prevents the break away, becasue we are and many of us are the same, don't like hurting other people, so of course we think that the friendship bit will balm it, it doesn't.
Shelve the friendship bit for now, don't concern yourself with that. If you and Owen don't feel for these men, then only one thing for it, tell them directly, as quickly as you can, you'll both feel better when it is out. And I know it is not easy.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Sommerauer71: Owen, nothing else for it, you have to tell him. Don't make it such a big deal with him though, just tell him.
'I'm sorry, I don't want to do this any longer' And do it soon, none of that 'I want to like him' and feeling guilty about hurting him, he'll survive.
'I'm sorry, I don't want to do this any longer' And do it soon, none of that 'I want to like him' and feeling guilty about hurting him, he'll survive.
I don't think I would say "I don't want to do this any longer". Saying it that way makes it sound like a project.
It might sound more honest if you said something like "I don't think we are making a connection "his name". He will probably say....what do you mean....and that will open the door for you to explain. If he doesn't ask what do you mean, then he was probably feeling the same way but didn't know how to tell you. If I was in the situation I would NOT ask him to be friends.
------ This thread is Archived ------
Sommerauer71: As I told Owen, Dru and I concur with JB, here, how would you like it to be done?
The wanting to be friends bit, is the one that prevents the break away, becasue we are and many of us are the same, don't like hurting other people, so of course we think that the friendship bit will balm it, it doesn't.
Shelve the friendship bit for now, don't concern yourself with that. If you and Owen don't feel for these men, then only one thing for it, tell them directly, as quickly as you can, you'll both feel better when it is out. And I know it is not easy.
The wanting to be friends bit, is the one that prevents the break away, becasue we are and many of us are the same, don't like hurting other people, so of course we think that the friendship bit will balm it, it doesn't.
Shelve the friendship bit for now, don't concern yourself with that. If you and Owen don't feel for these men, then only one thing for it, tell them directly, as quickly as you can, you'll both feel better when it is out. And I know it is not easy.
Yes, that is the hard part, Sommer. I hate hurting anyone. And yet, I know you're right, it hurts them more to drag it out. It's easier if I don't feel anything for them from the beginning, but if they're nice and I like them as a friend, it's harder.
------ This thread is Archived ------
druidess6308: Yes, that is the hard part, Sommer. I hate hurting anyone. And yet, I know you're right, it hurts them more to drag it out. It's easier if I don't feel anything for them from the beginning, but if they're nice and I like them as a friend, it's harder.
I couldn't agree more, Dru. We are definitely in the same boat here.
------ This thread is Archived ------
This Thread is Archived
This Thread is archived, so you will no longer be able to post to it. Threads get archived automatically when they are older than 3 months.
« Go back to All Threads
« Go back to All Threads
More Threads
One more reason to vote Democrat....Arizona Supreme Court
Manifesting
Which Of These Is Your Favorite Breakfast
If Our Profiles Were Truly Honest
who shaped your life?
Iran- Israel war
Thoughts on Daylight Savings
This is a thread that might become a poll..about charging everyone for membership but read!!!
Trump on Trial
See It All The Time
More Threads
Report threads that break rules, are offensive, or contain fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. click to report forum abuse »
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
Stats for this Thread
1,375 Views
44 Comments
Created: Jul 2009
Last Viewed: Apr 11
Last Commented: Jul 2009
0 Likes
Related Forums
- One more reason to vote Democrat....Arizona Supreme Court
- Manifesting
- Which Of These Is Your Favorite Breakfast
- If Our Profiles Were Truly Honest
- who shaped your life?
- Iran- Israel war
- Thoughts on Daylight Savings
- This is a thread that might become a poll..about charging everyone for membership but read!!!
- Trump on Trial
- See It All The Time