things my mother taught me ( Archived) (12)

1. My mother taught me: TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me: RELIGION .
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me: TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me: LOGIC .
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me: MORE LOGIC ..
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me: FORESIGHT .
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me: IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me: CONTORTIONISM .
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me: WEATHER .
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me: HYPOCRISY .
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me: THE CIRCLE OF LIFE ..
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me: ENVY .
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE ..
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me: ESP .
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me: HUMOR .
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me: GENETICS.
"I swear you're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me: WISDOM ..
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand.."

25. And my favorite: My MOTHER TAUGHT ME ABOUT JUSTICE
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!

Didn't we just have this a few days ago??

I bet she also taught you to be, Thank Full. Thank Heaven for Little Girls.......

Sorry, I must have missed it.

..and little boys, because they grow up to be men some day (Hopefully)