Metaphors and Similies ( Archived) (10)

Here's a chance to exercise your creativity, and/or cut and pastivity. Finish the sentence of the person above, and then start another for the next reader.

They can be funny, goofy, silly, or just plain beautiful if you like.

Examples: Life is a highway. It was cold as a witches tit....etc.

Today was as hot as...

Oh! Come on you lot this could be fun.....

...It contained something new, something completely imaginary and yet frighteningly real. It contained a “metafive”.
A metaphor is a comparison between one item by directly representing that it is another. A simile does the same thing but uses the words “like” or “as” in its comparison. Sort of a junior metaphor, with a couple of flash cards to help it along. Now that we are done with the language lesson, we can move on to just what exactly a metafive is and is not.
What it isn’t is a Mercedes. It simply refuses to be. Nobody knows why. Being as metafives had just been born and yet were infinitely ancient, they tended to be like willful little children, which is a simile we’re going to use as a metaphorical springboard on which to leap into this giant pool, again metaphorically speaking. Get used to it. A metafive is very much like a metaphor and yet not the same at all. Which is why they tended to be childishly adult. Like waking up on a weekend and having a tantrum because you don’t have to go to work that day.
It isn’t a typewriter either. This can be explained, although not satisfactorily. Rather far from satisfactory actually. Sometimes explanations can be like that, especially in the vicinity of a Mott.
To start with we shall use an anti-simile. Typewriters are not at all like pink elephants. Pink elephants, on the other hand, are pink. On the other other hand, the thought of a pink elephant using a typewriter is patently absurd. Typewriters, on the other hand (the original other hand), aren’t pink. Well maybe some of them are, but so far it has yet to be proven. Pink elephants have been proven to be pink; otherwise they would not be called “pink” elephants. One would leave off the pink and just go with the elephant part. If you’re confused by the explanation, then it has succeeded in its purpose of not getting its point across.
This phenomenon is known to Science now as the MAEF (Mott Anti-Explanation Field), and has become quite useful to politicians. Crowds of voters now go away from political conventions feeling they have learned something, although it’s achingly apparent they are not at all sure what it is.
Nor is metafive a ham sandwich. It would be dangerous to ham lovers everywhere if this were the case. It’s very dangerous to fully chomp down on a metaphor. People can get hurt. Having a soiree with a plateful of metafives would be like having an open house in a burning building. You’re not bound to make many friends this way, unless you enjoy the company of a bunch of firemen who think you’re a bloody idiot. And this is why metafives are not like ham sandwiches, or for that matter, like any other perishable. Because of their ancient newness, metafives could actually be said to be imperishable, which is why in effect, they are far from being ham sandwiches.
We continue to edge about the central issue, and this is because we want as much distance between ourselves and the issue when we solve it as possible. It’s a matter of personal survival. What exactly is a metafive, if it is not a Mercedes, typewriter, or ham sandwich? Considering the vast diversity of the universe in all its myriad forms, that still leaves quite a bit that metafives might possibly not be, which is a polite way of saying, “I’m not bloody telling you yet.”
One might say (but still not actually come close to the truth) that a metafive is a metaphor that is all grown up now and got its simile together. But this wouldn’t even touch the essence of what we’re actually dealing with here. Metaphors and similes were invented to describe the qualities of things that can’t normally be described. You can’t see them or feel them or hear them, and these are the types of things that metaphors describe about things. Metafives are for describing something that cannot even be thought about, let alone seen, felt, or heard. This is why they are dangerous. They probe the unthinkable, like poking a huge shark just to see if it will eat you.

storing the goods

in a playfull way.

way in there

finding the way in the dark

dark way in there

was that a mouse?