What can I learn from this? (63)
Great post sis!
Like you I've learned to find the positive through the negative times in life. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Yes, a cliche that many are weary of hearing. And it feels good to have a positive outlook even in the darkest of situations. At times I still catch myself wanting to wallow in the misery of the negativity just for attention's sake. Then I'll slap myself back into the positive atmosphere. It's just a much better place to reside.
Like you I've learned to find the positive through the negative times in life. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Yes, a cliche that many are weary of hearing. And it feels good to have a positive outlook even in the darkest of situations. At times I still catch myself wanting to wallow in the misery of the negativity just for attention's sake. Then I'll slap myself back into the positive atmosphere. It's just a much better place to reside.
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Recently I am trying to make changes in my life. However, I think it may have something to do with getting older. Young people never feel they need to change anything! 
The changes are minor, a little more exercise, I´ve taken up swimming again, something I did regularly in the past. I have always walked a lot as I don´t drive, so there wasn´t really a need to up my exercise to any great extent, but I thought swimming would exercise the parts that walking doesn´t reach, and I love it!
The major thing in my life now is that I have accepted what I have,(less than what I had financially when I was a Tax Inspector and married in the UK) what I am unlikely to ever have in the future if Ihad stayed married in the UK, and I am happier than I have ever been.
I look out of my window each day and see the orange groves, olive trees, my phone rings, family, friends or students, I am Spanish now, I am busy busy, and have been, in reality, for five years. Now I realise that, and it makes me content.
The changes are minor, a little more exercise, I´ve taken up swimming again, something I did regularly in the past. I have always walked a lot as I don´t drive, so there wasn´t really a need to up my exercise to any great extent, but I thought swimming would exercise the parts that walking doesn´t reach, and I love it!
The major thing in my life now is that I have accepted what I have,(less than what I had financially when I was a Tax Inspector and married in the UK) what I am unlikely to ever have in the future if Ihad stayed married in the UK, and I am happier than I have ever been.
I look out of my window each day and see the orange groves, olive trees, my phone rings, family, friends or students, I am Spanish now, I am busy busy, and have been, in reality, for five years. Now I realise that, and it makes me content.
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I learned don't bet a bluff on an inside straight in stud poker. How's that for positive? 
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Galactic_bodhi: I learned don't bet a bluff on an inside straight in stud poker. How's that for positive?
Nope, that's a negative....if it begins with the word "don't", it's a negative.
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Jan1305: .....The major thing in my life now is that I have accepted what I have,(less than what I had financially when I was a Tax Inspector and married in the UK) what I am unlikely to ever have in the future if Ihad stayed married in the UK, and I am happier than I have ever been.
I look out of my window each day and see the orange groves, olive trees, my phone rings, family, friends or students, I am Spanish now, I am busy busy, and have been, in reality, for five years. Now I realise that, and it makes me content.
I look out of my window each day and see the orange groves, olive trees, my phone rings, family, friends or students, I am Spanish now, I am busy busy, and have been, in reality, for five years. Now I realise that, and it makes me content.
And isn't this a peaceful place to be in life, Jan? To look around you, see what you have, know what you don't have, and to recognize that it's the orange groves, the olive trees, the friends, the family....these are the things that bring you contentment.
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hopefloats: Great post sis!
Like you I've learned to find the positive through the negative times in life. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Yes, a cliche that many are weary of hearing. And it feels good to have a positive outlook even in the darkest of situations. At times I still catch myself wanting to wallow in the misery of the negativity just for attention's sake. Then I'll slap myself back into the positive atmosphere. It's just a much better place to reside.
Like you I've learned to find the positive through the negative times in life. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Yes, a cliche that many are weary of hearing. And it feels good to have a positive outlook even in the darkest of situations. At times I still catch myself wanting to wallow in the misery of the negativity just for attention's sake. Then I'll slap myself back into the positive atmosphere. It's just a much better place to reside.
It is indeed a much better place to reside, Hope!
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jlb684: And isn't this a peaceful place to be in life, Jan? To look around you, see what you have, know what you don't have, and to recognize that it's the orange groves, the olive trees, the friends, the family....these are the things that bring you contentment.
Olive trees?
An interesting OP, Athens. I think you're onto something there. For me, it's one of life's big lessons - that your perspective on events has so much to do with how one experiences them.
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Ambrose2007: Olive trees?
An interesting OP, Athens. I think you're onto something there. For me, it's one of life's big lessons - that your perspective on events has so much to do with how one experiences them.
An interesting OP, Athens. I think you're onto something there. For me, it's one of life's big lessons - that your perspective on events has so much to do with how one experiences them.
Hiya, Ambrose.
Yes, olive trees!!! The gods themselves planted them, you know.
As for the lesson in life about perspective and how we experience events....what I'm learning is that I must re-examine my perspective at times. I must pay attention to my initial reaction to something and then, if my reaction was negative, try to look at it again from a different angle. Generally speaking, this means that I must de-personalize it a bit. Again, hard to explain, but I am finding that, in trying to find a positive lesson, I'm releasing burdens. I've always known this, but I'm really putting it to practice now and I like the effect that it has on me...on my soul, if you will. Will go to sleep soon, but want you to know that it's always a pleasure to see you here. Hope all is well.
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jlb684: I've been making a few changes in my life lately. Nothing major, nothing really noticeable to others, most likely. But little changes here and there that are just for me. Chief among the changes is asking myself "what can I learn from this?" more often and really trying to learn from something that has happened. I was recently hospitalized for a number of days (came home on Friday) and had a lot of time to just lie in bed and think about things. I realized that I've let many of life's lessons pass me by because I simply reacted to a situation but didn't ever really try to learn from it. Or, I was only learning negative responses. For example, if a friend disappointed me, I might have taken away a negative lesson such as "don't count on others" or something similar. Now I am trying to take something positive out of my experiences, even if the experiences themselves are somewhat negative.
Hard to explain, but I feel a tremendous weight is already being lifted from my shoulders. I'm not, by nature, a negative person. I am easy-going, generally cheerful, and good-hearted. But I allowed negative situations to impact me in ONLY a negative way. Trying now to find something positive out of the bad times is enlightening. It's a work in progress, but I feel good.
So I ask others here....what about you? Are you trying to make any changes in yourself? If so, what are you hoping to change? And how is it going so far?
Hard to explain, but I feel a tremendous weight is already being lifted from my shoulders. I'm not, by nature, a negative person. I am easy-going, generally cheerful, and good-hearted. But I allowed negative situations to impact me in ONLY a negative way. Trying now to find something positive out of the bad times is enlightening. It's a work in progress, but I feel good.
So I ask others here....what about you? Are you trying to make any changes in yourself? If so, what are you hoping to change? And how is it going so far?
You are most enlightened, J. As I have come to realise and as the delightful and charming lady I met in Rome...?
Yes, we can glean the positive from even the most negative of circumstances. I have learned this,amongst many other things....
Example: Some time ago I divulged some most private and personal information to only 2 people, one woman (a dear friend on and off the site) and one man. My lady friend has been the ultimate in a friend and I couldn't wish for more support! However, the man..... I initially received a favourable response but, obviously, as time went on the reaction I got was less than I would've expected, considering we had corresponded a fair bit and I considered him a "friend". I have no idea as to whether my private affairs have been relayed to anyone else but it does, indeed, flag up my own gullibility and naivety. That said, I do believe the problem with being receptive to another's dilemma lies with him.....
And so I have learned to be even more selective.
We live and learn, eh?!
For you, lovely lady! ----->
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roseofsharon: You are most enlightened, J. As I have come to realise and as the delightful and charming lady I met in Rome...?
Yes, we can glean the positive from even the most negative of circumstances. I have learned this,amongst many other things....
Example: Some time ago I divulged some most private and personal information to only 2 people, one woman (a dear friend on and off the site) and one man. My lady friend has been the ultimate in a friend and I couldn't wish for more support! However, the man..... I initially received a favourable response but, obviously, as time went on the reaction I got was less than I would've expected, considering we had corresponded a fair bit and I considered him a "friend". I have no idea as to whether my private affairs have been relayed to anyone else but it does, indeed, flag up my own gullibility and naivety. That said, I do believe the problem with being receptive to another's dilemma lies with him.....
And so I have learned to be even more selective.
We live and learn, eh?!
For you, lovely lady! ----->
Yes, we can glean the positive from even the most negative of circumstances. I have learned this,amongst many other things....
Example: Some time ago I divulged some most private and personal information to only 2 people, one woman (a dear friend on and off the site) and one man. My lady friend has been the ultimate in a friend and I couldn't wish for more support! However, the man..... I initially received a favourable response but, obviously, as time went on the reaction I got was less than I would've expected, considering we had corresponded a fair bit and I considered him a "friend". I have no idea as to whether my private affairs have been relayed to anyone else but it does, indeed, flag up my own gullibility and naivety. That said, I do believe the problem with being receptive to another's dilemma lies with him.....
And so I have learned to be even more selective.
We live and learn, eh?!
For you, lovely lady! ----->
Thank you, Rose! For the words and for the bouquet. Glad to hear that you have someone special in your life these days. You deserve a good man!
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jlb684: Hiya, Ambrose.
Yes, olive trees!!! The gods themselves planted them, you know.
As for the lesson in life about perspective and how we experience events....what I'm learning is that I must re-examine my perspective at times. I must pay attention to my initial reaction to something and then, if my reaction was negative, try to look at it again from a different angle. Generally speaking, this means that I must de-personalize it a bit. Again, hard to explain, but I am finding that, in trying to find a positive lesson, I'm releasing burdens. I've always known this, but I'm really putting it to practice now and I like the effect that it has on me...on my soul, if you will. Will go to sleep soon, but want you to know that it's always a pleasure to see you here. Hope all is well.
Yes, olive trees!!! The gods themselves planted them, you know.
As for the lesson in life about perspective and how we experience events....what I'm learning is that I must re-examine my perspective at times. I must pay attention to my initial reaction to something and then, if my reaction was negative, try to look at it again from a different angle. Generally speaking, this means that I must de-personalize it a bit. Again, hard to explain, but I am finding that, in trying to find a positive lesson, I'm releasing burdens. I've always known this, but I'm really putting it to practice now and I like the effect that it has on me...on my soul, if you will. Will go to sleep soon, but want you to know that it's always a pleasure to see you here. Hope all is well.
Well, I think when we experience something negatively it feels more like the experience is imposing itself on us, but when we find something positive in an unpleasant event, it's more like we're imposing our will on the event. It's empowering, I think, to be able to do that.
Always a pleasure to provide pleasure, Athens.
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Things I've learned in the past ten years:
1.) People are never who they say they are, and it's not their fault. This applies to all social interaction, not just the net. They don't know who they are, so how can they tell you?
2.) The myth of soul mates does more damage to people than smoking or heroin.
3.) Suffering, not joy, is what binds people together. It is not our faith that acts as the glue of society, but our doubts. That's why it's called the Human Condition, and not the Joyce or Dave condition.
4.) One should never turn down the opportunity to make a new friend. The reason being is that every person you include in your personal universe expands that universe. I would like everyone in the world to be my friend, because then, I would be the world.
1.) People are never who they say they are, and it's not their fault. This applies to all social interaction, not just the net. They don't know who they are, so how can they tell you?
2.) The myth of soul mates does more damage to people than smoking or heroin.
3.) Suffering, not joy, is what binds people together. It is not our faith that acts as the glue of society, but our doubts. That's why it's called the Human Condition, and not the Joyce or Dave condition.
4.) One should never turn down the opportunity to make a new friend. The reason being is that every person you include in your personal universe expands that universe. I would like everyone in the world to be my friend, because then, I would be the world.
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Ambrose2007: Well, I think when we experience something negatively it feels more like the experience is imposing itself on us, but when we find something positive in an unpleasant event, it's more like we're imposing our will on the event. It's empowering, I think, to be able to do that.
Always a pleasure to provide pleasure, Athens.
Always a pleasure to provide pleasure, Athens.
Very well put, Ambrose. You nailed it. And, of course, you have pissed me off in the process. I hate it when your words are more descriptive and spot-on than mine are!
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In response to: I've been making a few changes in my life lately. Nothing major, nothing really noticeable to others, most likely. But little changes here and there that are just for me. Chief among the changes is asking myself "what can I learn from this?" more often and really trying to learn from something that has happened. I was recently hospitalized for a number of days (came home on Friday) and had a lot of time to just lie in bed and think about things. I realized that I've let many of life's lessons pass me by because I simply reacted to a situation but didn't ever really try to learn from it. Or, I was only learning negative responses. For example, if a friend disappointed me, I might have taken away a negative lesson such as "don't count on others" or something similar. Now I am trying to take something positive out of my experiences, even if the experiences themselves are somewhat negative.
Hard to explain, but I feel a tremendous weight is already being lifted from my shoulders. I'm not, by nature, a negative person. I am easy-going, generally cheerful, and good-hearted. But I allowed negative situations to impact me in ONLY a negative way. Trying now to find something positive out of the bad times is enlightening. It's a work in progress, but I feel good.
So I ask others here....what about you? Are you trying to make any changes in yourself? If so, what are you hoping to change? And how is it going so far?
Hard to explain, but I feel a tremendous weight is already being lifted from my shoulders. I'm not, by nature, a negative person. I am easy-going, generally cheerful, and good-hearted. But I allowed negative situations to impact me in ONLY a negative way. Trying now to find something positive out of the bad times is enlightening. It's a work in progress, but I feel good.
So I ask others here....what about you? Are you trying to make any changes in yourself? If so, what are you hoping to change? And how is it going so far?
wow my new role model ....
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jlb684: Thank you, Rose! For the words and for the bouquet. Glad to hear that you have someone special in your life these days. You deserve a good man!
Thank you, darling!!
Yes, I am very fortunate. He is the most amazing man I have ever met.
I do believe there is a man out there for you but, boy, he has to be a real special one!! There's not many special ones around but...
Actually, I don't think he is far away.... I have a feeling..... trust me!!
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Galactic_bodhi: Things I've learned in the past ten years:
1.) People are never who they say they are, and it's not their fault. This applies to all social interaction, not just the net. They don't know who they are, so how can they tell you?
2.) The myth of soul mates does more damage to people than smoking or heroin.
3.) Suffering, not joy, is what binds people together. It is not our faith that acts as the glue of society, but our doubts. That's why it's called the Human Condition, and not the Joyce or Dave condition.
4.) One should never turn down the opportunity to make a new friend. The reason being is that every person you include in your personal universe expands that universe. I would like everyone in the world to be my friend, because then, I would be the world.
1.) People are never who they say they are, and it's not their fault. This applies to all social interaction, not just the net. They don't know who they are, so how can they tell you?
2.) The myth of soul mates does more damage to people than smoking or heroin.
3.) Suffering, not joy, is what binds people together. It is not our faith that acts as the glue of society, but our doubts. That's why it's called the Human Condition, and not the Joyce or Dave condition.
4.) One should never turn down the opportunity to make a new friend. The reason being is that every person you include in your personal universe expands that universe. I would like everyone in the world to be my friend, because then, I would be the world.
Interesting observations, Galactic. Your 3rd one, particularly, strikes a chord at the moment. While I was in the hospital, I became familiar with several other patients and their families. I won't say that I got to know them, for our communication was stifled (my Greek is still not as strong as I wish it was and the people I am referring to spoke no English). Some of these patients were in dire condition...one woman was 38 and cancer has ravaged her body. Her husband sat with her night and day and I visited with them a few times. He is suffering....he is losing the woman he loves, way too soon. When I was leaving, I stopped in her room to give them a few toiletries and things and to say goodbye. We hugged each other and I turned and left the room before they could see my tears. Yes, suffering brings people together. And my few visits with them, barely able to say much to each other, will stay with me forever. His scraggly beard, his same red t-shirt and blue jeans that he'd been wearing for days, her bald head and pink pajamas...these images will remain in my heart. Had they been a young couple celebrating their wedding or some joyous occasion, I would never have spent any time with them. Maybe a bad comparison, but it's what immediately came to my mind when I read your 3rd notation. Maybe it's just because I have also been thinking of them a lot since I left. Sigh.
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jlb684: I've been making a few changes in my life lately. Nothing major, nothing really noticeable to others, most likely. But little changes here and there that are just for me. Chief among the changes is asking myself "what can I learn from this?" more often and really trying to learn from something that has happened. I was recently hospitalized for a number of days (came home on Friday) and had a lot of time to just lie in bed and think about things. I realized that I've let many of life's lessons pass me by because I simply reacted to a situation but didn't ever really try to learn from it. Or, I was only learning negative responses. For example, if a friend disappointed me, I might have taken away a negative lesson such as "don't count on others" or something similar. Now I am trying to take something positive out of my experiences, even if the experiences themselves are somewhat negative.
Hard to explain, but I feel a tremendous weight is already being lifted from my shoulders. I'm not, by nature, a negative person. I am easy-going, generally cheerful, and good-hearted. But I allowed negative situations to impact me in ONLY a negative way. Trying now to find something positive out of the bad times is enlightening. It's a work in progress, but I feel good.
So I ask others here....what about you? Are you trying to make any changes in yourself? If so, what are you hoping to change? And how is it going so far?
Hard to explain, but I feel a tremendous weight is already being lifted from my shoulders. I'm not, by nature, a negative person. I am easy-going, generally cheerful, and good-hearted. But I allowed negative situations to impact me in ONLY a negative way. Trying now to find something positive out of the bad times is enlightening. It's a work in progress, but I feel good.
So I ask others here....what about you? Are you trying to make any changes in yourself? If so, what are you hoping to change? And how is it going so far?
Great post and I've been doing the same as you!
I try and observe my emotional reactions to different situations and then ask myself 'Why?' if the reaction is negative.
A positive attitude really makes a huge difference to my life and I imagine the same with other people.
I don't let the actions of other people annoy me nowadays.......... or a lot less than before.
I've quit judging people but instead what they've done - i.e. thinking 'That wasn't a very nice thing to do - why did 'x' or 'y' do that?' instead of ''X' or 'Y' is a bad person and must have something against me!'
Ignoring perceived hurts also helps instead of rising to the bait. I still react badly sometimes, but less and less and I also try not to deliberately hurt the feelings of other people.
Definitely a work in progress, but in a couple of decades or so I want to be perceived as a nice old man who wouldn't hurt a fly!
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jlb684: Interesting observations, Galactic. Your 3rd one, particularly, strikes a chord at the moment. While I was in the hospital, I became familiar with several other patients and their families. I won't say that I got to know them, for our communication was stifled (my Greek is still not as strong as I wish it was and the people I am referring to spoke no English). Some of these patients were in dire condition...one woman was 38 and cancer has ravaged her body. Her husband sat with her night and day and I visited with them a few times. He is suffering....he is losing the woman he loves, way too soon. When I was leaving, I stopped in her room to give them a few toiletries and things and to say goodbye. We hugged each other and I turned and left the room before they could see my tears. Yes, suffering brings people together. And my few visits with them, barely able to say much to each other, will stay with me forever. His scraggly beard, his same red t-shirt and blue jeans that he'd been wearing for days, her bald head and pink pajamas...these images will remain in my heart. Had they been a young couple celebrating their wedding or some joyous occasion, I would never have spent any time with them. Maybe a bad comparison, but it's what immediately came to my mind when I read your 3rd notation. Maybe it's just because I have also been thinking of them a lot since I left. Sigh.
Good times tend to bring out the greed and selfishness in humanity. When there's plenty to go around, nobody thinks about the ones who have nothing and it becomes a race to see how much stuff one can accumulate without regard for morality or legality.
When hard times come for everyone is when our true opportunity for noble and compassion acts occur. No matter what people think, no person is an island. When poverty is the status quo, there truly is a sense of community. I think that's the only time people think about community anymore, when its threatened.
Complacency is a fact of human nature. So is change. Trust in the fact that everything changes, even the bad times.
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Galactic_bodhi: Things I've learned in the past ten years:
1.) People are never who they say they are, and it's not their fault. This applies to all social interaction, not just the net. They don't know who they are, so how can they tell you?
2.) The myth of soul mates does more damage to people than smoking or heroin.
3.) Suffering, not joy, is what binds people together. It is not our faith that acts as the glue of society, but our doubts. That's why it's called the Human Condition, and not the Joyce or Dave condition.
4.) One should never turn down the opportunity to make a new friend. The reason being is that every person you include in your personal universe expands that universe. I would like everyone in the world to be my friend, because then, I would be the world.
1.) People are never who they say they are, and it's not their fault. This applies to all social interaction, not just the net. They don't know who they are, so how can they tell you?
2.) The myth of soul mates does more damage to people than smoking or heroin.
3.) Suffering, not joy, is what binds people together. It is not our faith that acts as the glue of society, but our doubts. That's why it's called the Human Condition, and not the Joyce or Dave condition.
4.) One should never turn down the opportunity to make a new friend. The reason being is that every person you include in your personal universe expands that universe. I would like everyone in the world to be my friend, because then, I would be the world.
Good clear points that make me feel ashamed of my rambling post!
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Hard to explain, but I feel a tremendous weight is already being lifted from my shoulders. I'm not, by nature, a negative person. I am easy-going, generally cheerful, and good-hearted. But I allowed negative situations to impact me in ONLY a negative way. Trying now to find something positive out of the bad times is enlightening. It's a work in progress, but I feel good.
So I ask others here....what about you? Are you trying to make any changes in yourself? If so, what are you hoping to change? And how is it going so far?