Just what life is all about, I spent about 8 months talking to a wonderful woman to just blow her off when I went into a depression from not being able to find a job, and when I did get a job found myself doing the same thing I've done for years, Putting everything I have into my job and nothing into my personal life.
The last time I put everything I had into my job I had a heart attack, But it's really the only thing I know how to do as relationships seem to escape me.
Well the point of this is to say I'm sorry C. for the way I left things.
A man is not born anything....he learns.....with books....you can learn a lifes experience for $10 and a few hours. Get some books on relationships....keep that which is good and drop the rest. You have a new goal....I know your a goal setter...read books on salesmanship as it tells of buying motives....It is the same in relationships. The basics are the same for all.
Life is really what you make it no one said when we arrived on the planet that it will be the perfect ride its all about the learning curve.
I just booked a flight lesson the weekend which I'll take on the 27th my reason being because I think flying is something I should have always done but I'll know then if its for me or not, so I can push the whole dating game aside and concentrate and something which could be more worthwhile and at the same time am finding out who I am.
Englishman55Salisbury, Wiltshire, England UK6,405 posts
Dknew: Just what life is all about, I spent about 8 months talking to a wonderful woman to just blow her off when I went into a depression from not being able to find a job, and when I did get a job found myself doing the same thing I've done for years, Putting everything I have into my job and nothing into my personal life.
The last time I put everything I had into my job I had a heart attack, But it's really the only thing I know how to do as relationships seem to escape me.
Well the point of this is to say I'm sorry C. for the way I left things.
Hi, I have spent many years putting my all into work, because I thought thats what she wanted, and I thought it would make the relatoionship stronger..... wrong.... So I recently spent 8 months ( like you) working on putting everything I had into the realtionship.
I have kept quite, because I know I can be opinionated, I let her do everything she wanted for fear of being accused of being a control freak, I ket her dictate to me, her terms for the relationship.... but did that work !
Be yourself, who you are, and not let anybody affect you.... your life !
Dknew: Just what life is all about, I spent about 8 months talking to a wonderful woman to just blow her off when I went into a depression from not being able to find a job, and when I did get a job found myself doing the same thing I've done for years, Putting everything I have into my job and nothing into my personal life.
The last time I put everything I had into my job I had a heart attack, But it's really the only thing I know how to do as relationships seem to escape me.
Well the point of this is to say I'm sorry C. for the way I left things.
Dknew: Just what life is all about, I spent about 8 months talking to a wonderful woman to just blow her off when I went into a depression from not being able to find a job, and when I did get a job found myself doing the same thing I've done for years, Putting everything I have into my job and nothing into my personal life.
The last time I put everything I had into my job I had a heart attack, But it's really the only thing I know how to do as relationships seem to escape me.
Well the point of this is to say I'm sorry C. for the way I left things.
I know the "FEELING" Dan......... For the past year and a half I have put my all into caring for my elderly mother, neglecting my needs while doing it. I do not think I was in a depression, I do not think I was but then I ain't no doctor. I have held a therapist license so I do know how to recognize the signs. I was being extremely co-dependent though, I have no doubts there.
Long ago I learned to live with and be very happy with myself. Take a hard look at what is available. Do you see a relationship you would really want??
We all play a role, so many easily place all blame on another..
Dknew: Just what life is all about, I spent about 8 months talking to a wonderful woman to just blow her off when I went into a depression from not being able to find a job, and when I did get a job found myself doing the same thing I've done for years, Putting everything I have into my job and nothing into my personal life.
The last time I put everything I had into my job I had a heart attack, But it's really the only thing I know how to do as relationships seem to escape me.
Well the point of this is to say I'm sorry C. for the way I left things.
So sorry about this DK.....maybe C may understand and forgive you and come back but you have to make changes too....learn from this...
HJFinAZ: I know the "FEELING" Dan......... For the past year and a half I have put my all into caring for my elderly mother, neglecting my needs while doing it. I do not think I was in a depression, I do not think I was but then I ain't no doctor. I have held a therapist license so I do know how to recognize the signs. I was being extremely co-dependent though, I have no doubts there.
Long ago I learned to live with and be very happy with myself. Take a hard look at what is available. Do you see a relationship you would really want??
We all play a role, so many easily place all blame on another..
Hi Pat,
I know what you are saying Pat and we all put others needs before our own not because we are forced to but it's the right thing to do at the time...and while we do this time is passing us by and there never seems to be a right time...I guess we have to make that right time.....
Hi MB how are you....we all make mistakes over and over and over again and if we dont make the changes they keep on happening.....and I know how it hurts and it is a sad time too....
I see work very differently as only a means to an end and nothing more....remember we are all but numbers....
It's the 'all-American disease' as I call it. Works comes first, family/relationships/health second When the latter fails, the former is always there for you. The trick is in finding an equilibrium and balance. Maybe making a conscious choice to separate the two and to dedicate less time to one and more to the other will help in the future. I hope you'll find a way to create some harmony in your life so that you don't end up with a second heart attack.
When working is very important having a personal life is very hard to maintain. I haven't worked in 18 years so was able to enjoy my personal life but within limits. During the week I just keep to myself in my apartment surfing the Internet while listening to music or playing video games or wtching movies. Only on the weekends do I go out to the beach or bars. I have met a few women but I was not interested into being into a relationship. We are just good friends that meet on weekends now and then. Sooo think about that heart attack and that wonderful woman and consider which is the one you should work on more MHO.
Englishman55: Hi, I have spent many years putting my all into work, because I thought thats what she wanted, and I thought it would make the relatoionship stronger..... wrong.... So I recently spent 8 months ( like you) working on putting everything I had into the realtionship.
I have kept quite, because I know I can be opinionated, I let her do everything she wanted for fear of being accused of being a control freak, I ket her dictate to me, her terms for the relationship.... but did that work !Be yourself, who you are, and not let anybody affect you.... your life !
You can't spend 24/7 working or 24/7 making love - so you need to find a balance........... simple as that!
Dknew: Just what life is all about, I spent about 8 months talking to a wonderful woman to just blow her off when I went into a depression from not being able to find a job, and when I did get a job found myself doing the same thing I've done for years, Putting everything I have into my job and nothing into my personal life.
The last time I put everything I had into my job I had a heart attack, But it's really the only thing I know how to do as relationships seem to escape me.
Well the point of this is to say I'm sorry C. for the way I left things.
For what it's worth, I know what you mean without the heart attack.I'm a workaholic myself and no stranger to depression. Can I suggest you time manage yourself. Decide how many days per week you will work and how many hours per day and force yourself to stick to that.
Then do the same with your relationships and friendships and espescially make time just for yourself and the things that you enjoy doing.
I know when I'm in workaholic phase, I eventually just go numb and feel nothing which is a bit of an ordeal for those who care about me. Life really is too short. Plenty folk in the graveyard left big bank balances and it's a cliche but it's true. Nobody ever said on their death bed, I Wish I'd Spent More Time At Work.
In response to: Just what life is all about, I spent about 8 months talking to a wonderful woman to just blow her off when I went into a depression from not being able to find a job, and when I did get a job found myself doing the same thing I've done for years, Putting everything I have into my job and nothing into my personal life.
The last time I put everything I had into my job I had a heart attack, But it's really the only thing I know how to do as relationships seem to escape me.
Well the point of this is to say I'm sorry C. for the way I left things.
Dan this no way shape or form is meant in a mean spirted way but maybe if you would've explained to C that you were in dire straits from the very begining and that you needed some space to get yourself straightened out she may have understood and not been upset with how you handled/left things.I learned along time ago that I have to take care of MY needs first and foremost.
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The last time I put everything I had into my job I had a heart attack, But it's really the only thing I know how to do as relationships seem to escape me.
Well the point of this is to say I'm sorry C. for the way I left things.