Forgive and Forget. ( Archived) (81)

Sep 15, 2009 7:54 AM CST Forgive and Forget.
If someone does or says something to hurt you and they apologize to you afterwards and you've forgiven them but don't forget does that mean that you haven't really forgiven them in the first place?

I'm not the kind of person who holds grudges against anyone who does something to hurt me.I just accept their apology and move on.I just let Karma do it's job instead.
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Sep 15, 2009 8:00 AM CST Forgive and Forget.
jessejess47
jessejess47jessejess47ogdensburg, New York USA35 Threads 1 Polls 3,886 Posts
somechick: If someone does or says something to hurt you and they apologize to you afterwards and you've forgiven them but don't forget does that mean that you haven't really forgiven them in the first place?

I'm not the kind of person who holds grudges against anyone who does something to hurt me.I just accept their apology and move on.I just let Karma do it's job instead.
I forgive very easily.....but I seldom forget thoprofessor
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Sep 15, 2009 8:02 AM CST Forgive and Forget.
hopefloats
hopefloatshopefloatsSlim's Lady, Tennessee USA51 Threads 6,660 Posts
"but don't forget does that mean that you haven't really forgiven them in the first place?"


Not necessarily. Sometimes I can't forget things no matter how hard I try. While other things I couldn't remember to save my life...
doh uh oh
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Sep 15, 2009 8:04 AM CST Forgive and Forget.
Laura25
Laura25Laura25Somewhere, New York USA50 Threads 6 Polls 8,178 Posts
somechick: If someone does or says something to hurt you and they apologize to you afterwards and you've forgiven them but don't forget does that mean that you haven't really forgiven them in the first place?

I'm not the kind of person who holds grudges against anyone who does something to hurt me.I just accept their apology and move on.I just let Karma do it's job instead.


Well, hoping that Karma will do it's job instead of trying to get even is

basically the same grin

Answering your question, for me it depends on a person and on a situation in question.



wine
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Sep 15, 2009 8:04 AM CST Forgive and Forget.
USThumper
USThumperUSThumperMexico, New York USA4 Threads 3,957 Posts
jessejess47: I forgive very easily.....but I seldom forget tho
Just cause you forgive dosnt mean you have to forget so they can do it again.
Hey, Dave, hows married life? Congradulations, by the way.cheers
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Sep 15, 2009 8:05 AM CST Forgive and Forget.
jessejess47
jessejess47jessejess47ogdensburg, New York USA35 Threads 1 Polls 3,886 Posts
USThumper: Just cause you forgive dosnt mean you have to forget so they can do it again.
Hey, Dave, hows married life? Congradulations, by the way.
wave life is good grin
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Sep 15, 2009 8:10 AM CST Forgive and Forget.
Laura25: Well, hoping that Karma will do it's job instead of trying to get even is

basically the same

Answering your question, for me it depends on a person and on a situation in question.



I know but karma does seem to do alot better job then I ever could.laugh
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Sep 15, 2009 8:11 AM CST Forgive and Forget.
Polarbutterfly
PolarbutterflyPolarbutterflyunknown, Northwest Territories Canada115 Threads 9,486 Posts
It depends on what the severity of the wrong was.
I can accept an apology for something minor,
but if it were a major issue,I'd accept the apology
but,it would take time in order for me to forget.
However,I'm not the type of person to hold a grudge,
why hold a grudge and have something negative always
on your mind?I just move on.
In response to: If someone does or says something to hurt you and they apologize to you afterwards and you've forgiven them but don't forget does that mean that you haven't really forgiven them in the first place?

I'm not the kind of person who holds grudges against anyone who does something to hurt me.I just accept their apology and move on.I just let Karma do it's job instead.
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Sep 15, 2009 9:12 AM CST Forgive and Forget.
rizlared
rizlaredrizlaredNot in Cebu City, Central Visayas Philippines89 Threads 2 Polls 5,588 Posts
Surely the whole point of forgiving someone is to reassure them that its all done and forgotten with?
If you never forget, then at some point that memory will rise up during some conversation/argument and either ruin a relationship or at the minimum stir up past problems that would have been better buried.
If I say I have forgiven someone then thats the end of the matter for me.
I just don't forgive that easilyrolling on the floor laughing
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Sep 15, 2009 9:16 AM CST Forgive and Forget.
HJFinAZ
HJFinAZHJFinAZSun CIty, Arizona USA870 Threads 1 Polls 17,068 Posts
somechick: If someone does or says something to hurt you and they apologize to you afterwards and you've forgiven them but don't forget does that mean that you haven't really forgiven them in the first place?

I'm not the kind of person who holds grudges against anyone who does something to hurt me.I just accept their apology and move on.I just let Karma do it's job instead.


This problem will NEVER happen on CS.. People here are always saying they do not judge others, and if we do not judge, there is no reason to have to forgive..innocent angel


grin
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Sep 15, 2009 9:22 AM CST Forgive and Forget.
The precept: “Judge not, that ye be not judged” . . . is an abdication of moral responsibility: it is a moral blank check one gives to others in exchange for a moral blank check one expects for oneself.

There is no escape from the fact that men have to make choices; so long as men have to make choices, there is no escape from moral values; so long as moral values are at stake, no moral neutrality is possible. To abstain from condemning a torturer, is to become an accessory to the torture and murder of his victims.

The moral principle to adopt in this issue, is: “Judge, and be prepared to be judged.”

The opposite of moral neutrality is not a blind, arbitrary, self-righteous condemnation of any idea, action or person that does not fit one’s mood, one’s memorized slogans or one’s snap judgment of the moment. Indiscriminate tolerance and indiscriminate condemnation are not two opposites: they are two variants of the same evasion. To declare that “everybody is white” or “everybody is black” or “everybody is neither white nor black, but gray,” is not a moral judgment, but an escape from the responsibility of moral judgment.

To judge means: to evaluate a given concrete by reference to an abstract principle or standard. It is not an easy task; it is not a task that can be performed automatically by one’s feelings, “instincts” or hunches. It is a task that requires the most precise, the most exacting, the most ruthlessly objective and rational process of thought. It is fairly easy to grasp abstract moral principles; it can be very difficult to apply them to a given situation, particularly when it involves the moral character of another person. When one pronounces moral judgment, whether in praise or in blame, one must be prepared to answer “Why?” and to prove one’s case—to oneself and to any rational inquirer.

The Virtue of Selfishness “How Does One Lead a Rational Life in an Irrational Society?”
A.R.

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Sep 15, 2009 9:22 AM CST Forgive and Forget.
Boban1
Boban1Boban1bigplace, Central Serbia Serbia144 Threads 5 Polls 18,789 Posts
somechick: If someone does or says something to hurt you and they apologize to you afterwards and you've forgiven them but don't forget does that mean that you haven't really forgiven them in the first place?

I'm not the kind of person who holds grudges against anyone who does something to hurt me.I just accept their apology and move on.I just let Karma do it's job instead.


I often say something with out a deeper thought...and insult people


and as far as i have noticed most of us here do the same , so i always forgive and forget... and hope that people will forgive me for being rude sometimes
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Sep 15, 2009 9:27 AM CST Forgive and Forget.
HJFinAZ
HJFinAZHJFinAZSun CIty, Arizona USA870 Threads 1 Polls 17,068 Posts
Boban1: I often say something with out a deeper thought...and insult peopleand as far as i have noticed most of us here do the same , so i always forgive and forget... and hope that people will forgive me for being rude sometimes


HOW DARE YOU??????????scold

People on CS are "PERFECT" and would never insult, or judge another...innocent angel


grin
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Sep 15, 2009 9:28 AM CST Forgive and Forget.
HJFinAZ
HJFinAZHJFinAZSun CIty, Arizona USA870 Threads 1 Polls 17,068 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing



uh oh





hole
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Sep 15, 2009 9:31 AM CST Forgive and Forget.
Boban1
Boban1Boban1bigplace, Central Serbia Serbia144 Threads 5 Polls 18,789 Posts
HJFinAZ: HOW DARE YOU??????????

People on CS are "PERFECT" and would never insult, or judge another...


Sorry... i meant some other people from another dating site

which name i cannot say ...uh oh
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Sep 15, 2009 9:50 AM CST Forgive and Forget.
Thalassa
ThalassaThalassaRome, Lazio Italy104 Threads 2,410 Posts
I don't think it's possible to will yourself to forget. Memory exists and can't be eradicated simply by wishing it so. I think it's very possible and, in fact, very common to have forgiven someone without forgetting. The key is in the context of the memory. If, when the memory of a wrongdoing or painful situation rears its ugly head, how one reacts to the memory is how we know if we've truly forgiven or not. Does the memory itself bring anger or hurt or sadness? Or does it just come into your mind as a fleeting thought?
I can't erase my memories, but when I draw on them for some reason, how I process them and respond to them will tell me if I've really forgiven or not.
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Sep 15, 2009 9:50 AM CST Forgive and Forget.
HJFinAZ: HOW DARE YOU??????????

People on CS are "PERFECT" and would never insult, or judge another...



Pat you pot stirer you.rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Sep 15, 2009 9:51 AM CST Forgive and Forget.
hopefloats
hopefloatshopefloatsSlim's Lady, Tennessee USA51 Threads 6,660 Posts
jlb684: I don't think it's possible to will yourself to forget. Memory exists and can't be eradicated simply by wishing it so. I think it's very possible and, in fact, very common to have forgiven someone without forgetting. The key is in the context of the memory. If, when the memory of a wrongdoing or painful situation rears its ugly head, how one reacts to the memory is how we know if we've truly forgiven or not. Does the memory itself bring anger or hurt or sadness? Or does it just come into your mind as a fleeting thought?
I can't erase my memories, but when I draw on them for some reason, how I process them and respond to them will tell me if I've really forgiven or not.




Good post sis!wine
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Sep 15, 2009 9:52 AM CST Forgive and Forget.
Oh how I wish I was so Perfect and had no Flaws but unfortunately I have plenty.laugh laugh
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Sep 15, 2009 10:02 AM CST Forgive and Forget.
hopefloats
hopefloatshopefloatsSlim's Lady, Tennessee USA51 Threads 6,660 Posts
somechick: Oh how I wish I was so Perfect and had no Flaws but unfortunately I have plenty.



I don't wish to be perfect. However I do wish I wasn't my worst enemy...doh frustrated
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