Different jokes help yourself............. (10)
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In response to: 1. Two blondes walk into a building.......... You'd think at least one of them would have seen it..
2. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
3. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him $50 that he
Couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
4. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
5. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He
Shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied "I Know you can't, I've cut your arms off".
6. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.
7. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the
Craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.
8. A man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. He says to the Doctor, "What can you do about this?" The doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."
9. 'Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home' "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. ' Is it common? ' "It's not unusual."
10. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you
Can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Just because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's too heavy"
12. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!
13. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
14. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'
15. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people
In my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my Dad,or
My older Brother Colin, or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
16. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round." The other One says "So are you, you fat *&&**"
2. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
3. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him $50 that he
Couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
4. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
5. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He
Shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied "I Know you can't, I've cut your arms off".
6. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.
7. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the
Craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.
8. A man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. He says to the Doctor, "What can you do about this?" The doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."
9. 'Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home' "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. ' Is it common? ' "It's not unusual."
10. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you
Can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Just because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's too heavy"
12. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!
13. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
14. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'
15. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people
In my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my Dad,or
My older Brother Colin, or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
16. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round." The other One says "So are you, you fat *&&**"
I don't get that joke!
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Polarbutterfly: I don't get that joke!
I knew you was going to pick up on that ............ not very pc 
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almera03: I knew you was going to pick up on that ............ not very pc
Just making it aware that
people have feelings toward
this kind of humor,not funny IMO.
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Polarbutterfly: I don't get that joke!
Why do they always pick on us Eskimos?
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Very good. Do I detect a bit of the late great Tommy Cooper in there ?
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Aaaayway.
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Sounds a little bit like Henny Youngman. Quite Good. A small contribution from my end. My ex-wife said, 'I can have any man I please". I said, "Yeah, but you don't please any of them". "Ouch"!!!
A small contribution from my end. My ex-wife said, 'I can have any man I please". I said, "Yeah, but you don't please any of them". "Ouch"!!!------ This thread is Archived ------
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Created: Sep 2009
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2. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
3. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him $50 that he
Couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
4. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
5. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He
Shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied "I Know you can't, I've cut your arms off".
6. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.
7. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the
Craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.
8. A man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. He says to the Doctor, "What can you do about this?" The doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."
9. 'Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home' "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. ' Is it common? ' "It's not unusual."
10. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you
Can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Just because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's too heavy"
12. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!
13. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
14. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'
15. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people
In my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my Dad,or
My older Brother Colin, or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
16. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round." The other One says "So are you, you fat *&&**"