Parrot - BRILL!! ( Archived) (8)

Oct 28, 2009 11:39 AM CST Parrot - BRILL!!
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little
perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh"
wonder what happened to this parrot?"

The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot." "Holy
crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly
intelligent thoroughly educated bird."

"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your
perch without any feet?" "Well," the parrot says, "this is very
embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden
bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."

"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English can't
you?"

"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with
reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports,
physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really
ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."

The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford
that."

"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody
wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20,
just make the guy an offer!"

The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.

Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humour,
he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he
sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes,
"Psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I
should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."

"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.

"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the
door in a sheer black nightie."

"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"

"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie
and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.

"NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?"

"Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie! , got down on his knees
and began to kiss her all over...."

Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"

"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"


If this doesn't make you laugh, you're having a really bad day

grin
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Oct 28, 2009 11:44 AM CST Parrot - BRILL!!
druidess6308
druidess6308druidess6308Aliquippa, Pennsylvania USA79 Threads 13,695 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 28, 2009 11:51 AM CST Parrot - BRILL!!
Grandepensees
GrandepenseesGrandepenseesVerviers, Liege Belgium45 Threads 1 Polls 3,691 Posts
Too funny!!! rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 28, 2009 11:57 AM CST Parrot - BRILL!!
Malinga
MalingaMalingaColombo, Western Sri Lanka7 Threads 30 Posts
Nuliiiiiii: A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little
perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh"
wonder what happened to this parrot?"

The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot." "Holy
crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly
intelligent thoroughly educated bird."

"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your
perch without any feet?" "Well," the parrot says, "this is very
embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden
bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."

"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English can't
you?"

"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with
reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports,
physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really
ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."

The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford
that."

"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody
wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20,
just make the guy an offer!"

The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.

Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humour,
he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he
sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes,
"Psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I
should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."

"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.

"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the
door in a sheer black nightie."

"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"

"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie
and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.

"NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?"

"Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie! , got down on his knees
and began to kiss her all over...."

Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"

"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!" If this doesn't make you laugh, you're having a really bad day


Good story but..Could it be that the postman was on bended knee looking for the mail box and the pheromones off the wick down under made him go "sniff sniff...??)::dunno:
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Oct 28, 2009 12:01 PM CST Parrot - BRILL!!
Malinga: Good story but..Could it be that the postman was on bended knee looking for the mail box and the pheromones off the wick down under made him go "sniff sniff...??)::dunno:
confused confused tongue tongue
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Oct 28, 2009 12:04 PM CST Parrot - BRILL!!
RobertC2
RobertC2RobertC2Xaghra, Gozo, Gozo Malta91 Threads 8 Polls 8,344 Posts
I fell off my perch too! sigh
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Oct 28, 2009 12:05 PM CST Parrot - BRILL!!
RobertC2: I fell off my perch too!
crying crying
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Oct 28, 2009 12:10 PM CST Parrot - BRILL!!
Malinga
MalingaMalingaColombo, Western Sri Lanka7 Threads 30 Posts
RobertC2: I fell off my perch too!


Quit clowning Bob, surely your weenie is long enough to wrap itself three times round your perch!::comfort:
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